Causal Analysis of Relationship Failure - Essay Example

Causal Analysis of Relationship Failure While statistics vary across the board and the emotional impact,stress and monetary heartaches levels rise, failed relationships in society are generally on the increase as well. Failure is a fact of life, and in relationships it is fast becoming inevitable attributable to the breaking of common bounds overtime. This is true in whatever sphere of life; with parents, children, partners or friends. At the heart of this trend is the fact that people do not understand the nature of relationships.

They are two-way; compromise is the bed-rock of any successful partnership. Other salient ingredients are communication and forgiveness.The causeThe foremost cause of relationship collapse has been singled out: ineffective communication. Not opening up to the other person. Understanding is rooted in disclosure.Laughter and play enrich communication by enhancing intimacy. And while sharing both parties must listen to each other and give the other adequate time for self-expression. All other causes including laziness, complacency and lack of cooperation of breakdown stem from this.

Men tend to shut down communication-wise to avoid confrontation. For example when a spouse arrives home late and there is a flood of abuse from the other. At the core of this reaction is fear of loss.Once communication goes; it is easier to be detached, insensitive and even selfish about things. There is no support in such a relationship.Another is jealousy. Rivalry is present in almost every relationship. It arises when there is disconnection or competition between people. Selfishness prevents us from feeling one with others’ achievements and genuine happiness at the success of others.

Rooted in distrust, suspicions emerge that a projection of our own insecurities. When our emotional attachments to people are irrational, we are prone to become possessive and demanding. A constant need for attention stems from people not having confidence or an inner belief in others.Domination is tied to jealousy. The need for personal space or individual freedom doesn’t go away with the decision to couple. A controlling nature breeds conflict as there’s a lack of mutual understanding and no freedom of expectations.

Obsession with other people’s faults because of intolerance and the constant attempts to try to change the other person (Goldschneider, 42)The effectsThe effect of any of the above mentioned problems on a relationship are stress. Jealousy gives way to paranoia and from this; it is easy to argue about even the most simplistic of issues. When couples feel they are not secure, stable or cannot trust each other, feelings of resentment seep in. It affects perception and people are likely influenced by their emotions rather than reason.

In lovers, the jealous spouse questions the desirability to the other and self-esteem lowers. These responses all trigger unhappiness in an individual.A lack of communication may stem from not being in touch with one’s own feelings, vulnerability, shame or the fear of giving another power over them. Whatever the cause, it creates distance. Distrust grows and intimacy is shattered. A lack of support from one’s partner can result in diminishing confidence, depression and unhappiness. People sit on their thoughts and become complacent.

Control on the other hand breeds resentment because there is no room for self-expression. Relationships are premised on a healthy balance of compromise between two equals. The sense of security and self-worth of an individual is dependent on one getting his way. They cross set limits to achieve their desired ends without taking the considerations of the other person to heart. In such a situation, strain causes cracks which cause a total collapse.In the end, all these can be avoided by keeping communication channels open and keeping one’s insecurities in check.

Work citedGoldschneider, G. “The Secret Language of Relationships: your complete personology guide to any relationship with anyone”. Illustrated Edition.Penguin Studio Publisher. ISBN 067003262X, 9780670032624. (2008)