Analysis of How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex Christian - Book Report/Review Example

How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex: A Lifelong Approach to Shaping Your Child's Sexual Character (God's Design for Sex) How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex is a highly educational Christian book that seeks to help parents deal with the issue of sex. Stan and Brenna Jones approached the issue of sex education from a Christian point of view and discussed the topic in a manner that inspires openness, trust and confidence with their children. In the book, Stan and Brenna Jones prescribe parents to have a continuous discussion about sex with their children as they age. Sex education cannot be completed in one sitting and therefore must be continuous. They also advocated that sex should not be an awkward subject to discuss and instead recommended to use it as an opportunity to educate their children about sex. Being such, the book advised that parents should be the primary source of sex education to safeguard their children from the highly sexual orientation of society. Finally, the book prescribed for a close parent–child relationship because it helps in the development of constructive sex education that is beneficial for the child. One of the main themes discussed by the authors is that Christian sex education cannot be completed in one sitting. It has to be continuous so that when children have questions about sex, parents can readily shed light about the subject for the children to learn and understand. Stan and Brenna recommended that instead of avoiding the topic of sex at home, parents should be willing to discuss it with their children and even advised that parents should encourage their children to ask any questions that they might have about sex. They advocated that parents should provide a positive message about sex to their children because it is one of the ways to ensure that their children can have a constructive knowledge about sex. Having a constructive knowledge about sex is important because it instills confidence from children that enables them to resist licentious sexual behaviors such as promiscuity that could lead to contracting sexually transmitted diseases (Jones & Jones, 2007). This book empowers children to become responsible adults that will enable them to lead an ideal Christian life by being properly guided by their parents. Stan and Brenna advocated for parents to be the primary source of sex education for their children because this is one of the ways where they can safeguard their children from the highly sexual orientation of society that has developed in recent years (Jones & Jones, 2007). The authors suggest that parents should not assume that their children know their moral stand and instead should take an active role in making sure that children know about sex. This parental guidance ensures that their children will be more comfortable talking to their parents about sex rather than their peers who could give them misleading information about sex. Moreover, the authors state that sex education should be initiated during the child’s formative years because it has more impact to children than talking about it later when their children already have an opinion about sex from corrupted sources such as media and their peers. This enables the parents to lay a strong foundation upon which their children can live a devout life without being in danger of becoming victims of false information concerning sex. A close parent–child relationship is important because it helps in the development of constructive sex education that is beneficial for the child. The authors show that a majority of teens who abstain from sex are often individuals who have a close relationship with their parents. Parental presence, which is a natural byproduct of the parent’s closeness to the child, prevents the child from seeking affection elsewhere when they enter puberty that is often the stage when the child suffers from inferiority complex and is therefore vulnerable to undesirable influences (Jones & Jones, 2007). It is therefore necessary for parents to show love to their children as well as commend them whenever they ask questions about sex and relationships to foster trust. Furthermore, parents should realize that sex education is not just a topic to be discussed but also a factor in the development of their children’s character. The development of a child’s character is an essential part of sex education because it allows a child to have an understanding of sex that helps him or her develop personal boundaries that will ensure abstinence from sex until he or she marries. The book also illustrated that it is necessary for parents to expose their children to the prevalent sexual culture to ensure that their children would know how to handle and respond to such environment in a positive way. I personally agree with most of the recommendations prescribed in How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex. I believe that it is my responsibility to raise my children according to the teaching of God about sexuality. Raising children according to the will of God however does not mean that I should not talk about sex. On the contrary, it would be better to discuss it with them as they age using appropriate words according to their level of maturity. It would be a discussion where the child can freely express their own thoughts about sex without any fear of reprisal. It would not also be a lecture but rather a conversation to encourage the child to be more open with me. I would emphasize that they are loved by God and He designed them to be just the way they are and that if they make mistakes, they can ask for my help and advice without the fear of reprisal. And with love and the grace of God, we will rectify their mistakes to make it right. I strongly believe that love is a stronger deterrence against promiscuity. When a child’s cup is full of love where the home is filled with affection, the child will no longer seek love elsewhere. Research have shown that risky sexual behaviors such as promiscuity is a result of lack of love at home where a child seeks it elsewhere through premarital sex. A child who is loved also has a clearer boundary about sex developed by the healthy discussion between the parent and the child and is better able to resist compromising situations that involves sex. A child who also has strong support from home and affectionate understanding with his or her parents is able to resist peer pressure more especially when it comes to sex. I agree with Stan and Brenna that it is often best to begin sex education as early as possible because it is the only way through which parents can get through their child before media and society does. Often, when society and media provides the information about sex to the child due to the hesitance of parents to discuss sex with their children, the education that the child is getting is often corrupted leading the child to be more “loose” about sex because of societies very sexual orientation. It would be best that children become aware of sex and its consequences through the use of developmentally appropriate language at different stages of their development. It simply means that teaching them about sex as they age according to their level of understanding and maturity. It would also be best for parents to be open and straightforward in discussing sex because children would be able to understand sex better. I would avoid euphemisms such as using the analogies of flowers and bees in explaining sex to the child because it just breeds misinformation than understanding about the subject. I understand that the issue of sex could sometimes be awkward. So I would make sure that I create an environment where my children are able to ask any question they would like concerning sex because sex education is a continuous process which cannot be addressed in one sitting. It takes time, trust and continuous reassurance for children to be confident in discussing about sex with their parents. I would also resist being judgmental when my children raise some issues about sex that I do not agree with. Instead of dismissing their point of view and enforcing my own on them, I would instead encourage a discussion why they have such point of view. This opens an opportunity for clarification in cases where the child is beginning to be misled by his or her peers, media and society at large. If the differences in opinion are not sexually alarming, I will let my child be because at some point in time, they will be on their own and it is important that they will be responsible with their own acts. For example, if the disagreement is the marrying age, it is no cause of alarm and instead just let the child develop his or her opinion about the right time to marry. In sum, instead of seeing sex education as a taboo that could be an awkward subject to discuss with my children, I would instead use it as an opportunity to understand my children and to be able to guide them to become a person whose acts reflect the Christian way of life. How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex is not only a good reading but also a practical book on how parents could talk sex to their child. It advocates for parents to be the primary source of sex education for their children because this is one of the ways that they can safeguard their children from the highly sexualized culture that has developed in recent years. The book also prescribes for a close parent–child relationship as it helps in the development of constructive sex education that is beneficial for the child. Personally, I believe most of the things written in the book, particularly on discussing sex with children as they age, use appropriate words according to their level of maturity, and that it is often the best to begin sex education as early as possible. This book is a must read for all parents. References Jones, S., & Jones, B. (2007). How and when to tell your kids about sex: A lifelong approach to shaping your child's sexual character (God's design for sex). Colorado Spring: NavPress. Read More