Death as Fact of Life - Essay Example

? Death as a Fact Thesis ment: Individuals who undergo loss should be conscious of the five grief stages and the impacts of poorly coping with the stress that comes with each stage. Death is an obvious fact, which we do not have the power to control. Death stirs up many unpleasant emotions like anger, pain, grief, or sorrow. During our lifetime, it is normal that each of us has experienced the pain of losing something or someone dear to us. The grief that tags along appears unbearable, but the grief is actually a healing process. Grief is believed to be the emotional imbalance felt by individuals after a certain loss. Grief turns to be quite complex in nature and sometimes it is misunderstood. Unfortunately, Grief is part of our lives since we all will experience it at one time or another in our lifetime (Becker, 23). The stages of grief remain the same whether brought through divorce, death or some other loss. We have five stages of grief, and it is believed that if an individual is stuck in one of these stages the grieving process is said to be incomplete. This means that the individual will not fully heal when there is a loss. The grieving stages occur differently in each individual since each individual has his own healing pace (Becker, 54). Therefore, an individual will only move to the next stage when he or she is ready. Individuals must complete the five stages of grieving for healing to occur. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has reviewed the grief stages (five) experienced by individuals after a serious loss: denial, bargaining, anger, sadness, and acceptance. Her study greatly involves dying patients’ process until their death finally comes. These emotional stages occur in human life before their death in an unpredictable order. Her study also revealed that the emotion reactions ranged from one individual to another due to the uniqueness possessed by people (Becker, 74). The reactions could have also been affected by various strategies used by individuals to overcome the stressing moment. Denial is the first stage of the Kubler-Ross model. This is where patients refuse to accept that they are in the progression towards death. Her research reveals that most of her patients claim that they feel fine, and others cannot believe that they are awaiting death. Denial is usually a short-term defense mechanism for the dying individuals (Kubler, 102). Some of the individuals make this stage worse when they think of the property they will leave behind after their death. When individuals constantly refuse to accept the fact that they on the dying edge they find themselves locked in this stage. When they are locked in this stage, they find themselves in a stressful moment. Kubler recommends that the health professionals and relatives to the dying individual should not keep the patient in dark about his or her real condition of health. When patients are hindered from the truth, he is prevented from adjusting to acceptance that death is surely going to happen. Anger is another emotional state where the dying individual has a number of questions. The individual is in question “Why me?” or “How can this be happening to me?” When anger arises in the victims, feelings are complicated for anyone to understand due to the patient’s fury and jealousy. Patients express their anger in different ways where some characters are annoyed of themselves or because of other people. Kubler advises that we should not judge individuals who are in anger out of grief. Moreover, we should continue showing love and care to help them get through the most difficult time of their life. Some of the individuals experiencing this stage may opt to commit suicide (Kubler, 103). After the individuals are past the anger stage, they face the bargaining stage. During this stage, individuals are ready to do anything just to delay their death. Most victims cry out to God to extend their life, and if they were granted a second chance, they would modify their lifestyle. According to the psychiatrist at this stage, the victim is aware that he will die, but he or she is trying to buy himself more time. Bargaining for life does not change the outcome or provide any possible solution in the matter of death. Due to the failure of a possible solution to their problem individuals, find they are depressed. According to research during the depression stage individuals are hopeless in life. The victim believes that there is no need to do anything as he or she is definitely going to die. At this time, the victim attitude and behavior change, he or she does not want visitors and cries most of the time. It is advisable for friends and relatives to try to cheer up depressed individuals. Victims experience sadness, fear, regrets and not sure about their tomorrow. These feelings reflect that the victim has accepted his fate. The last stage is acceptance where individual consoles himself by preparing for death. The acceptance stage varies with the situation where a dying person will arrive at this stage earlier than his or her loved ones. The relatives of the victim will have their own process of dealing with sorrow. Kubler originally introduced this model on her research of people who are certain of death. She then proceeded with her research and realized that the model could be applied in other circumstances like loss of job, divorce cases, tragedies, and drug addictions. This model was important to help individuals experiencing loss. However, according to George Bonanno scientific study, he argued that the Kubler Ross model does not exist in the modern world. His scientific research shows that a large number of people who experience loss do not mourn but instead they are resilient. He reveals that resilience is the modern way of handling grief. George also argues that Kubler research did not involve the personal environment, which entailed victims reactions would be different due to positive and negative experiences (Becker 186). George A. Bonanno did research on the aftermath of experiencing a loss. He uses his book to summarize how victims encountering losses are dealing with grief and loss (Bonanno 24). He is a psychologist and counselor who did his scientific research on mourning and grief aiming to clearly informing the readers on the new way of handling loss. He also focuses on the various issues that his fellow researchers did not attempt considering. He believes that grief, loss after losing a loved one is part of the human life, and the best way to handle the loss was resilience. Grief, sadness, and mourning were part of the psychological trauma. Bonanno does not limit his study to the primitive theories discussed by Kubler Ross. Bonanno research with the application of the new science found that human kind currently to deal with their losses efficiently (Bonanno 32). He reveals how our inherent emotions anger, relief, denial, and joy help victims are able to handle their grief. He argues that grief is not just mere sadness but also involves interpersonal relations and positive occurrence. Bonanno’s research of psychological resilience has changed the opinion of how the people of the West handle trauma and grief. Bonanno’s contribution found natural resilience through his research and not through mere evidence, theories, and unreliable methodologies (Bonanno 62). Resilience is believed to have replaced the cycle of grief this is because people have become resilient even while experiencing dreadful losses. Most of the individuals do not grief, which makes them fail to experience the stages of grief. Absence of grief as a part of human life has been viewed as a pathology. Bonanno’s claims that guidance and counseling does not help victims of loss but only makes them remember the traumatic period. Resilience is an important implication used by the community for treating individuals who have encountered horrific events. Bonanno described various trajectories of sadness (58). These trajectories were realized because of terrorist attacks that happened in New York. Resilience, recovery, trauma, and chronic dysfunction trajectories and the various affected groups of people are what Bonano aims to enlighten in individuals. Other researchers have found Bonanno’s research findings of resilience in cases of loss to be controversial. They argued that many of the psychiatrist and health professionals have a problem accepting that there is no treatment for the chronically affected. They also argue that it is hard for individuals who have experienced loss to consent to laughter as a response to overcome trauma (Bonanno 162). In conclusion, George A. Bonanno and Elisabeth Kubler-Ross have clearly elaborated on the dying process and the aftermath of the death. The authors have also expressed the different reactions that individuals express during the grieving process (Kubler, 241). Through their books, it is also evident that both also have different opinions on how they handle their grieving moments. However, the both authors have concluded that for healing to occur after the death of loved individuals must successfully complete the healing process. Works Cited Bonanno, George A. The other side of sadness. [Strawberry Hills, N.S.W.]: Accessible, 2010. Print. Kubler, Elizabeth. On Death and Dying. New York: Scribner, 2011. Print. Becker, Ernest. The Denial of Death. New York: Simon and Schuster, 2007. Print. Read More