Defining Categories and the Tread of Commitment - Essay Example

?Me: Defining Categories and the Thread of Commitment I’ve heard it said that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, and I think that applies to me. The parts of me, or rather what has contributed to who I currently am, include my male gender, youth, university education, Christian values, Baptist upbringing, Caucasian race, upper class social status, Republican political persuasion, and my participation in the family business. But I am not the same as every Caucasian, Baptist, Republican, upper-class young man with an education and a family business. There are layers of details that fill in the categories, and there is a unique weaving together of category specifics that yields more than can be found in the individual elements of the visible equation. I suppose that seeing a list of these pieces of my life is enough to assume certain things that are between the lines of the listed items. For example, being male, white, upper class and having access to our highly successful family business means that I lead a life of privilege, to some extent. Being Christian, specifically Baptist, means that I have a well-shaped sense of morality and a well-developed conscience. Being Republican and having a successful family business means that I am pro-business and believe in the importance of hard work, planning and self-sufficiency. Being young and university educated means that I have dreams and a set of skills to attain them. Being male, in these times, is often confusing. As a Christian male, I am called to leadership in family, church and community. As an ambassador of Christ, I must always set a high example to others. I have a strong responsibility to protect family, church and community, with dedication and integrity, as a soldier of Christ. My first loyalty, my first priority, is to God and not to worldly success or social status (Community Christian Alliance Church, nd). On the other hand, as a family businessman, I am expected to work toward increasing success, attract more business and more money, and be dedicated to the goals of our company, while still remembering that my real treasure is Christ and salvation. As a male student, I am expected to relate to other students I meet out in the world, neighbors and people I bump into somehow. I am sometimes presented with temptations and distractions that conflict with Baptist Christian values. I spend a lot of time supporting our family’s international software business, so my priorities are not totally aligned with those of many students I meet. As a 22 year old, I do not always feel confident in my leadership and ability to protect. The information I get from films, newspaper and the news tells me just how complicated the world is, and I wonder how my parents are sure that the answers they have chosen for our family are the right ones. I have no complaints about those answers. I fit into them comfortably enough and they feel right as I live them. But I have thought, sometimes, about how, if I had been born into a different family, even a family very opposite to my own, I would have different values and maybe a different religion and I would think in a totally different way. Or if I had been adopted, and still had the same genetic material I have now, but was just raised by different people, in a different social class, maybe by Democrats or maybe by a father who works in a factory or perhaps by a single mother, then who would I be? What would I believe? How would I behave? I can give myself a headache, just thinking of all the possibilities! Fortunately I am happy to be who I am. I enjoy my studies and my work. I am interested in keeping up with the political situation in our country and abroad. I find it fascinating to gain glimpses into other cultures, other ways of doing things. Our software business operates nationally and internationally and handles contracts in the public and government sectors, so I gain a broader exposure to the world around me than some young people my age. It also gives me an opportunity to form opinions which are an application of our family’s outlook. Being under the influence of the Republican perspective, I basically support family values (am anti-abortion, pro DOM), prefer America’s leaders to recognize the leading of God in the running of our country, want the lowest possible taxes and want to run our family business without government interference (Barclay, 2011). I understand America is a diverse country and I don’t expect everybody to agree with my viewpoint, but I do feel a responsibility to respect and defend the Christian values our country was founded on, and not lose what has been given to us, what has been carefully defended over the years before I arrived on the scene. Being Republican means being proud that I am identified with the same political party that Abraham Lincoln was part of (Barclay, 2011), because he was a truly great leader and held our country together, when times were challenging, as they are today. I find foreign policy to be an interesting thing to observe, especially this past year with, among other hot spots, events in Israel and Palestine, Libya, Syria, Yemen, and South Lebanon (Rice, 2011). When I disagree with US foreign policy, I am not a person who just complains and makes disparaging comments. I like to think about what I would do and say differently, and why. I do not aspire to a foreign policy position, but I think it is good practice for taking on increasing responsibility in our family business and in my future. My father does a great job, as head of the business, but I have some ideas I want to implement, a specialty line Christian software product I want to develop. As a Christian, I see work as ministry, so I want to deliver my best. Also, as a Christian, I want to honor my father and mother, and they have put a lot of effort into developing the business, so I have a strong commitment to protect it. I guess, for my age, that I am ambitious. Ambitious is defined as, “eagerly desirous of achieving or obtaining success, power, wealth, a specific goal” (dictionary.com, 2011). In my case, it’s not really about power or accumulating vast wealth beyond my family’s needs, because that is not a priority for me. In my case, it’s about success in reaching my goals. I think a lot about ways to expand the business and creative contributions I can make to it. I expect to always be involved in our family business, although I expect to do projects of my own design. Who knows? Maybe someday my son or daughter will join me in the family business. That would make their Grandpa proud. I was raised Baptist, so being Baptist is a big part of my life. Being Baptist means that I was baptized when I was old enough to understand what it meant and to make my own choice about it. Some churches baptize infants, but Baptists place a lot of importance on the individual’s choice for the Christian faith and life, and this is not something that can happen in infancy. I was ten years old, when I was baptized, and I remember feeling the importance of that choice. It symbolizes the death and resurrection of Jesus. It also indicates that I made a choice to die to worldly priorities and be raised anew in Christ. It was a statement that I am saved through the grace of Christ’s death and resurrection (livingfaithforum.org, 2004). I am not ready to get married yet, but I think about it and I wonder what woman God has chosen for me, and what woman God has chosen me for. She will, of course, be a Christian, and she needs to fit in with my family, so I guess she will be a Republican. I want her to be educated. Some guys are worried about being with women who are educated because then maybe she will fight for dominance and that will create a marriage in conflict. I, on the other hand, think it is important to be able to have good conversation with a partner and I want an educated woman to be the mother of my children. My parents are both educated, and they have a good marriage. I think that shared values and shared goals, and a common understanding of how to reach those goals were at least partially responsible, and I think this starts with two people of similar education. I have thought about homeschooling my children, so this is another reason the woman I marry should have an education, like me. I wouldn’t necessarily expect the woman I marry to be Baptist. It would probably help to have that in common, but God does not work only through Baptists, obviously, so I am open to similarity with a touch of distinction there. She should be active, like I am, and near to my age. She should definitely want a couple of children and be willing to raise them with an understanding of God’s Word and Christian values. She should also be a calm person, as I am. I want home to be a place that always feel good, a place where everyone likes to be. Shouting, name-calling, being sarcastic, showing bad attitude, always trying to get your own point to win, are counterproductive to a calm household, With our relationship with Jesus being the center of family life, I look forward to a peaceful home, like the one I’ve been raised in. I found an interesting research study that tested the brain activity of Believers and Non-Believers, during a task. The results showed that religious conviction is marked by reduced reactivity in the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), a cortical system that is involved in the experience of anxiety and is important for self-regulation (Inzlicht, McGregor, Hirsch, & Nash, 2009). Not only that, but the results showed that those with religious conviction actually performed more efficiently and with more accuracy on the assigned task (Inzlicht, McGregor, Hirsch, & Nash, 2009). The researchers concluded that being a Believer actually makes your brain work differently, keeping you calmer and more effective by reducing anxiety and allowing you to focus (Inzlicht, McGregor, Hirsch, & Nash, 2009). So in addition to eternal life, Christians can have the advantage of a calmer, more effective approach to life. As a Christian husband, I will have responsibility for family leadership. Leadership, for a Christian husband, includes two major areas I must be skilled in: provision and protection (Piper, 2007). So at this stage of my life, I am preparing myself by developing those skills. I have to balance family leadership with respect for my wife as an equal, with tenderness toward her, with recognition of our equality before God (Churches of Christ, nd). We will be best friends and will eat, sleep, talk, have fun, worship and pray together. We will always try to understand each other because we are committed for life. For me, as a Christian, “commitment” is a concept central to my life. My behavior choices are shaped by my commitment to serve God, my commitment to honor my parents, my commitment to be a good Christian example in the world, my commitment to the wife and children God has picked out for me, my commitment to take care of the blessings God has provided in the form of a strong and healthy company, my commitment to grow in Christian fellowship. On the news are so many reports of young people, my age and much younger, with throwaway lives. I feel very sorry that they do not have central commitments to guide them. A 10 year old boy shoots himself to death in Las Vegas (Silva, 2011) and another 10 year old boy strangles a four year old to death in Sweden (Associated Press, 2011). These are not isolated cases. Actually suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, ages 15-24 (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 2008). For Native American and Alaska Native young people, it is the second leading cause of death, at 34.6 suicides per 100,000, as compared with 13.7 for Whites (Strasser & Carpenter, 2010). Suicide problems are not present only in the teenage years, either, because suicide is the sixth leading cause of death among children, ages 5-14 (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 2008). FBI’s Uniform Crime Reports for 2007, was cited by a child homicide researcher to show that ten children between the ages of 9 and 12 were convicted of murder, compared with 542 teens aged 13 to 16, and 1,966 teens aged 17 to 19 (Hartman, 2010). They kill for fun, for entertainment, for convenience, for revenge, to show off, to identify with a criminal parent, for profit, for power (Ramstand, 2011). In America, about five parents are killed by their own biological kids every week, and in 25% of those cases the kids were under age 18 (Heide, 2010). Commonly the contributing factors are ongoing abuse, with PTSD, or antisocial actions to get their own way, without parental obstacles (Heide, 2010). In the former case, we see a lack of parents’ commitment to the child, and in the latter case, we see a lack of commitment of the child to the parent. These statistics are mentioned as examples of the dangers of a lack of commitment. They are not intended as a complete list of outcomes. Lack of commitment is a life and death situation. Leading a responsible life of commitment to God, to family and community, while experiencing the commitment that God has for us, his children, and the commitment that Christian parents demonstrate toward their children, and the commitment that one’s community (in my case university, church, family business) offers in support, are all factors that protect us from having throw-away lives. I feel so blessed to know I am of value to God, to my family, to my community. This is the thread that runs the most deeply through who I am. The categories I have earlier discussed describe aspects of me, but I think it is this immersion in commitment that makes me more than the sum of my parts. It strengthens me, focuses me, blesses me, protects me, motivates me, and marks me. It is the commonality that binds together my worldview, my Christian values, my vocational goals. References American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. (2008, May). Facts for Families: Teen Suicide. Retrieved December 14, 2011, from American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/teen_suicide. Associated Press. (2011, December 14). 10-year-old boy in Sweden strangled 4-year-old. Retrieved December 15, 2011, from Yahoo.com: http://news.yahoo.com/10-old-boy-Sweden-strangled-4-old-135202221.html. Barclay, J. (2011, March 31). What Does It Mean To Be A Republican In 2011? Retrieved December 14, 2011, from Rendition: http://www.gkrouse.wordpress.com/2011/03/31/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-republican-in-2011/. Churches of Christ. (nd). A Christian Husband. Retrieved December 14, 2011, from trustinggodamerica.com: http://www.trustinggodamerica.com/HUSBANDS.htm. Community Christian Alliance Church. (nd). What Does it Mean to Be a Christian Man? Retrieved December 14, 2011, from CCAC: http://www.ccac.ws/CE/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=92:what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-christian-man&catid=58:questions-a-answer&Itemid=58. dictionary.com. (2011). Ambitious. Retrieved December 14, 2011, from Dictionary.com: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ambitious. Hartman, K. (2010, April 15). Kids Killing Kids - Teen Charged in Murder. Retrieved December 15, 2011, from Open Salon: http://open.salon.com/blog/kimhartman/2010/04/14/kids_killing_kids-_teen_charged_in_murder_-please_read. Heide, K. M. (2010, April 10). Q & A: Why Kids Kill Parents. Retrieved December 14, 2011, from CBS News: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/04/10/48hours/main6383938.shtml. Inzlicht, M., McGregor, I., Hirsch, J. B., & Nash, K. (2009). Neural Markers of Religious Conviction. Psychological Science , Vol. 20, No. 3, 385-392. livingfaithforum.org. (2004). What Does It Mean To Be A Baptist. Retrieved December 14, 2011, from Living Faith Forum: http://www.livingfaithforum.org/baptist.html. Piper, J. (2007, March 25). Lionhearted and Lamblike: The Christian Husband as Head, Part 2. Retrieved December 14, 2011, from DesiringGod.org: http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/lionhearted-and-lamblike-the-christian-husband-as-head-part-2. Ramstand, K. (2011). The Unthinkable: Children Who Kill. Retrieved December 14, 2011, from TRU TV: http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/serial_killers/weird/kids2/killers_2.htm.l Rice, S. (2011, October 24). Remarks by Ambassador Susan E. Rice, United States Permanent Representative to the United Nations, at an Open Debate of the Security Council on the Middle East. Retrieved December 13, 2011, from United States Mission To The United Nations Representative to the United Nations: http://usun.state.gov/briefing/statements/2011/176034.htm. Silva, C. (2011, December 15). 2 Vegas children shoot themselves at their homes. Retrieved December 15, 2011, from Yahoo.com: http://news.yahoo.com/2-vegas-children-shoot-themselves-homes-233449899.html Strasser, F., & Carpenter, S. (2010, Nivember 22). Indian Reservations Battle High Teenage Suicide Rates. Retrieved December 15, 2011, from BBC World News America: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/world_news_america/9097996.stm Read More