A Grief Observed by Lewis in Reference to Historical and Contemporary Views of Bereavement and Grief - Term Paper Example

Analysis of A Grief Observed in reference to Historical and Contemporary Views of Bereavement and Grief (Student Name) (Institutional Affiliation) (Nursing) (Instructor) April 8, 2013 ANALYSIS OF A GRIEF OBSERVED BY LEWIS Very few people would deny the demise of their loved ones, especially of a child or a spouse is one of the greatest heart breaking encounters that we as human beings are supposed to bear, and a number of psychologists have outlined various stages of the process of typical grieving and they are: numbness and shock at the beginning, then great anger and intense mourning becoming the intermediate period, and finally sense of restoration and healing (Bowlby, 1962b). Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross is one such person, who was a psychiatrist from Swiss who deployed most of her time studying and comforting people in her hospital. Kubler transformed the manner in which the world viewed the incurably ill people, and promoted care and companion for them. Her five stages of grief are as follows and will be explained in the context of Lewis’ “A Grief Observed”. Denial: The bereaved people will allows deny what has happened. Anger: they must find someone to blame for the cause of the death (blame). Bargaining: they give reasons why they want life to continue Depression: they feel very sad Acceptance: they will come to terms with peace and accept what is ahead (Kubler-Ross, 1969). As illustrated in his extremely personal article, A Grief Observed, besides Lewis C.S underwent similar phases following the demise of his dearly loved wife Joy Davidman as a result of cancer. However, the article is not quite much Lewis’ account of grief but rather a manifestation of grief; a testimony of his instant feelings and thoughts as he seemingly searches in vain at the beginning, for some kind of solace in the demise of his wife as well as the separation it caused. The feelings and thoughts documented in the article tell Lewis’ camaraderie with the rest of humankind. He desperately wanted for his worldly life with his wife to go on and to carry on in the type he had come to realize. Had his wife been magically transported to a phenomenal life to another planet, he could have been grieved no less because of the separation. Hence he wrote: “You tell me, she goes on”. But my body and my heart are weeping out, come back, come back” (Musacchio, 1998). In other words, it not because of her past torment, but his personal need – his personal connection to the life he is been used to, that has absorbed his attention here. Lewis knows that the thing he wants is precisely the thing he cannot get at all; the jokes, the old life, the arguments, the drinks, they tiny, the love-making, and the commonplace heartbreaking. Even in the profundity of his despondency, Lewis appeared not capable to delude himself (Kubler-Ross, 1969). However, in his darkest moments, he still had to tackle the intensity of his despair, and his articles reports a captivating dialect between his profound feelings on one side and on the other side, his theological reckoning. In the last sentences of Chapter II, for instance, a hysterical Lewis in consequently lays blame on God for having obstructed every hope and every prayer with strange remissions and false diagnoses (Grosskurth, 1987). Evidently, Lewis was completely cognizant of internal battle wagging between his feelings and his intellect. At the start of chapter III, he hence calls out: “Feelings, feelings and feelings. Instead let me try to think. From the rational perspective, what new element has the death of [my wife] brought into the quandary of the earth” (Musacchio,1998). He gives more obvious answers, to imply that the death of his wife has not introduced into the early problems, and he is aware that such things or even worse occurs daily… and humanity was assured of sufferings. Bereavement in the Contemporary World Scholars have frequently applied the term modernist to typify the contemporary cultural zeitgeist of Western society, in distinction with that of earlier century, which has often been referred to as romanticist (Miller, Galanter & Pribram, 1960). Some of the major characteristics of cultural modernism comprise emphasis on observation and reason as well as faith in incessant progress. The approach of modernism to life is one that underlines efficiency, goal directedness, and rationality. Modernism, in psychological aspect has enhanced human functionality and when used in the context of grief, this perspective implies that human beings need to heal from the condition of extreme emotionality and get back to their normal effectiveness and functioning as efficiently and as fast as possible (Mains, Arend, & Sroufe, 1978). Modernism premises of grief as well as their associated therapeutic mediations persuade people who have encountered loss to react in just this manner. Grieving, which is an emotional debilitating reaction, is viewed as a wearisome interference with usual routines and hence has to be worked through. In view of both counseling practices and theoretical formulations, researchers time after time highlight relationship with the spouse to be one of the greatest risk elements for poor bereavement outcomes. Robertson & Bowlby (2002) explored two major pathological grief causes, which come as a result of problematic matrimonial bonds. One such problem following Freud, is referred to as the ambivalent grief syndrome, which means a relationship whereby elements of hate and love coexisted, disagreements were rampant, and separation or divorce could have been contemplated( Lindskoog, 2008). The bereaved, after the loss could still be attached to the departed, but in an insecure manner. The other syndrome is known as the chronic grief syndrome, and it follows an end of a relationship that is characterized as clinging or highly dependent. It is worth mentioning that features of a strongly bonded matrimonial relationship have been observed not only as the pathology cause, but also as the main contributor to deplorable adjustment among the bereaved as in the case of Lewis and others in general. Vanauken (2011) observed ineptitude in widowhood to be associated with earlier matrimonial roles. A widow who has deeply engaged in the lives of her husband and who were socially as well as psychologically dependent on him, exhibit major problems to adjust as opposed to the ones who were probably more autonomous. As noted above, the contemporary perceptions of grief among the professionals highlight the significance of the problematic implications and breaking bonds of relationships that are deeply dependent (Bowlby, 1962b). Appropriate bereavement requires that bonds with the departed has to be relinquished, and therapy and counseling plans be established to enhance the breaking of the bonds. In this line, then it follows that an individual who is autonomous and independent in marriage will experience less problems in breaking the ties and hence will encounter less problematic grief experience (Blatz, 2010). The traditional Perspective of Bereavement Even though the breaking ties orientation seems from the modernist angle to have universal implication scope, its spatiotemporal shortcomings become evident when looked at in the traditional contrast. A study on the traditional cultures indicates the beliefs regarding the worth of continuing ties with the departed vary greatly (Ainsworth, 2009). In contrast to the contemporary views, the maintenance of bond with the departed is sustained and accepted by some Yamamoto, Japanese religious rituals. The deceased stays accessible and the bereaved can converse with the deceased or give goodies such as cigars or food… the bereaved remains with the deceased forever (Dorsett, 2011). On quick contrast to the contemporary and Japanese grief patterns are those of some American tribes, for example among the Arizona Hopis. The deceased are quickly forgotten and life is intended to move on as normal as possible (Blehar, 2004). The bereaved may experience the loss pain, however the offer themselves over to no evident expression of grief. The practice is congenial with their customs concerning the afterworld. These people believe that any contact with demise causes pollution and they fear death and the deceased, whose has a depersonalized spirit. Conclusion A general perspective of the contemporary and traditional patters of grief in respect to “A grief Observed” by Lewis C. S, show that various groups of people carry out different patterns of habits and share diverse meaning systems through which their acts are recognized. Hence, actions deemed pathological, maladjusted or aberrant on a certain cultural setting could be completely acceptable in the other. There can be no fixed prescriptions for dealing with bereavement and grief. Each and every person must grow through it, live through it and live with it. There can be no fixed grief durations, in spite of the theories of time-based bereavement models. Responding with care and sensitivity, and empathizing with the bereaved as they undergo grief are what is important. Our beliefs, attitudes and values about bereavement and death are not cast on stone, however are modified by and responsive to social, economic and historical forces. People’s attitudes toward loss are social founded therefore we should expect mourners to react differently across different cultural settings. Death also entails assuming a new, perhaps unwelcome role – orphan or widower as well as ways of life that were unknown previously. References Ainsworth, M. (2009). Attachments beyond infancy. American Psychologist, 44, 709-716. Ainsworth, M & Bell, S. M. (2009). Some contemporary patterns in the feeding situation. In A. Ambrose (Ed,), Stimulation in early infancy (pp. 133-170). London: Academic Press. Bowlby, J. (1962b). Loss, detachment and defense. Unpublished manuscript, Tavistock Child Development Research Unit, London. Blatz, W. 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