Grief Holistic Approach - Essay Example

Grief – Holistic Approach Grief is associated with every person of this world across different stages of their life. The reason of grief or the effect of the same may be varied according to the significance, timing and implications of the incident for each individual but the general holistic approach or the characteristics associated with grief remain the same. According to Zisook and Shear (2009), the term grief is used to describe the state of an individual after losing some near ones due to death, or any other incident, or being not in touch with the near and dear ones. (Zisook & Shear, 2009, 67-68). According to Bruce (2007), the grief can be prolonged and complicated but in maximum cases it was a normal and needful adjustment response of an individual for a particular incident. He described disbelief, sadness, anger, guilt, and self-reproach, panic, anxiety, loneliness, listlessness as some of the characteristics of any grief affected individual. According to his view, it can be preoccupied with the losses that one was facing and that could be accounted for one’s confused thought process (Bruce, 2007,33-35). According to Archer (2004), grief is an intervening variable of an individual. In his view, it can be considered as a result of various unwanted situations. Staying away from near and dear ones, feeling helpless in those situations also not having the support of the friends can cause the grief in an individual (Archer, 2004,92-94). When I was in the USA, at the beginning of my stay, it was a very important phase of my life. I was enjoying my time and was also excited about visiting new places, making friends with new people, knowing new cultures etc. But, as the time passed on, I started to feel the pain and anxiety associated with living in a new country away from the friends and family. As Zissok and Shear (2009) described the term grief in their book, I was also facing the same situation staying away from my near and dear ones. After the phase of initial joy the reality began to loom before me - I was alone in a complete unknown place where I myself had to survive for everything. As there was no one to support me during that phase, so I was completely alone to fight out from that phase, and the helplessness that I was feeling at that very point was the beginning of my grief stage. As discussed by Bruce (2007), I was also feeling the pain of being alone, was confused and more so indecisive about what to do and what not to. As he discussed in his review that one can feel the timelessness while going through a stage of grief, social withdrawal, crying, restless over activity, etc all was associated with me. I was in that frame of mind, where I was trying to do everything to come out of this situation but unable to succeed. That indecisiveness was playing a vital role in making the grief situation more and more complex for me. The unwanted situations like sharing rooms with others, meeting bad people in life, facing problems related to own identity - all were the major problem associated with me in those days of my life as I was going through the toughest phase of my life. If I consider my stages of grief in the Archer’s perspective, I was also gone through four different phases, starting from the development of grief till the end when I was able to overcome that situation. During the first phase, I was more happy as it was an opportunity for me to see the new place. Therefore, staying away from the near one was not affecting me (avoidance of loss), after a few days when everything was started to fall in place I was started to feel the pressure of staying away from the family as there were lots of people who started to take the advantage of my loneness (development of distress). The third was the stage of depression when I was in the tangle of all kinds of wrong things, starting from being addicted to different staffs to getting impatient and restless as I was not able to find someone to share my problem. The anxiety was creeping in as I started to feel more and more depress as the days moved on. (Depression and development of anxiety), and I the final stage was my fight against the grief. My own belief that I could survive and come out of this pressure helped me to fight my way out of that trauma phase called grief. I started to live life as I wanted to be, started to make new friends with choices and also was able to ensure that no wrong doings or wrong people were near to me which could again take me to that stage of grief (Resolution). According to Archer (2004), in simple words, grief was derived from a behavioral rather than psychological background. Separation distress associated with various steps like attempt to maintain attachment, emotional reaction, finding alternatives and finally figure out the solution by oneself (Archer, 2004,97-98). If I look into this entire chain of incident that happened in my life, then one thing is absolutely certain - what Pelller and Walter (1993) discussed as the way of coming out from the state of grief is absolutely true. According to them, the best means of coming out of a situation of grief is celebrating one’s life and enjoying every aspect of life (Peller & Walter, 1993,7). If I consider their thought as related to my own story, it is absolutely clear that from the time when I started to take the life from a new perspective, started to work and live life like every normal working person did, I began to overcome the stage of grief slowly, but steadily. The holistic view of the entire incident that took place in my life was all about how grief entered my life, dominated me for a certain time and then, when I started to fight with it I was able to come out from that stage. Indeed, the stage of grief was responsible for my loss of few precious years/moments in my life, when I was completely depressed, isolated and also devastated due to all the happenings around me. There were moments when I even felt like committing suicides as life held very little or no meaning for me. Thus I faced such life threatening situations and even tried to find ways of purchasing cyanides. I kept thinking of some less painful ways of killing myself especially in the nights. I felt drawn to horror movies or those containing violence. Perhaps this was just another outward show of my grief. But that phase helped me to become a strong individual in future and also helped me to fight with the demon called grief. At the end, I want to conclude with the concept of Corr and Corr (2012). According to them, the study of death always taught a man about their life. From this study I was able to understand what I can control in life and what is beyond my control. According to them, the study of death was helpful because it always gave individual lessons about the importance of life. This study helps an individual to understand that they only have to fight and face the particular experience of their life, as no one else is going to face the grief on behalf of them (Corr & Corr, 2012,13-14). So in a nutshell, I can conclude by saying that the stage of grief, which I was in, taught me a great lesson about how to look at life and how to fight with the problem when no one is there beside me to support. Those few months taught me a lesson about the importance of life, the family and also about the support that we need to grow in our life from family, friends and philosophers’ guide. References Archer, J. (2004). The Nature of Grief: The evaluation and Psychology of Reactions to Loss. London, Routledge: England. Bruce, A.C (2007). Helping Patients, Families, Caregivers, and Physicians, in the Grieving Process. The Journal of the American Osteopathic Association, 107 (7), 33-40. Corr, C. A & Corr, D. (2012). Death and Dying: Life and Living, CA, Belmont: USA Peller & Walter (1993). Celebrating the Living: A Solution Focused Approach to the Normal Grieving Process. Family Therapy Case Studies, 7(2), 3-7. Zisook, S. & Shear, K. (2009). Grief and Bereavement: What psychiatrists need to know. World Psychiatry, 8 (2), 67-74. Read More