Interpersonal Skills - Coursework Example

Communication is pivotal in all aspects of our life, but even with its familiarity, people have often downplayed the importance of effective communication. Quality of communication has had great implications ranging from good life to individuals with excellent communication skills to deprived and miserable life for the communication incompetent lot (Maguire 2002, p. 246). Often, communication takes two forms, verbal and non-verbal. The verbal form involves use of only words to communicate while such aspects as facial expression, body language, voice, etcetera characterizes the non-verbal part of communication. Noting that communication is not an easy process, the ability to harmonize the verbal and non-verbal aspects is vital to allow other people or the recipient to comprehend what one is attempting to communicate. The reality is that this harmonization has failed and so has the communication. This document discusses this phenomenon while explaining the communication process; identifying skills necessary to pass through both verbal and non-verbal messages effectively, barriers to effective communication, factors that assist effective towards communication; and while explaining the role of personal awareness in communication, role and management of emotions, and specific strategies for improving effectiveness in communication. Communication is a process and often takes two forms. Although various models have been formulated to explain the communication process (Foulger 2009), the consensus is that it comprises four main components (Sanchez 2009). These include the sender, the message, the recipient, and the feedback. Therefore, the process is characterized by the initial step of encoding the message by the sender, features the medium for conveying the message, and interpretation and reactions by the recipient. Figure 1. A diagrammatic representation of a simplified communication process (Berlo 1960, p. 24) Concerning the medium, the message is written, spoken, or passed through signals, hence verbal or non-verbal communication. It is important to note that written messages forms part of verbal communication. However, it is more vulnerable to misunderstanding and misinterpretation because of its one-dimension nature. Written messages are conveyed mainly through words, but the style and tone of writing contributes to the interpretation of the message. Moreover, in written communications, there is lack of the non-verbal aspect in the message and feedbacks are deferred Feedbacks can be either verbal or non-verbal. It is vital to note, nonetheless, that it can occur internally so that it is not apparent to the communicator, or externally such that the communicator can see. Lack of feedback in communication has prevented communicators from “knowing if meaning had been shared or if understanding had taken place” (Community Partnership for Adult Learning 2005). Therefore, skills are also essential to understand feedback (Hayes 2002, p. 8). Communication process requires both the sender and the recipient to be sufficiently equipped with skills in interpersonal and intrapersonal interactions, observing, listening, speaking, analyzing, questioning, and assessing to enhance and promote cooperation and collaboration. The process can occur under various approaches and through various levels of the senses. It enables people to feel, learn, think, and understand while interrelating. Nonetheless, since it is characterized by at least interaction between the sender and the recipient of a message, communication is often complex and can lead into confusion if both verbal and non-verbal messages are not congruent. One main cause of breakdowns in communication is lack of congruence between the non-verbal gestures and the words spoken or written down by communicators; people usually fail to realize that with this scenario communication is impossible. At any time, that one person is around another, he or she is continuously receiving and sending signals that would translate into various meaning, regardless of the absence of speech. Normally, effect of non-verbal messages are two sided and will either enhance the effectiveness of ones communication or detract the communication altogether. It is important to note that the first aspect that one notices during an interaction with other people is the non-verbal indicators; similarly, people will recognize first the same indicators about him or her. Non-verbal signals will explain aspects such as age, gender, emotions, and preferences. A major limitation of non-verbal language in communication is the lack of exactness. Definitely, there are no tools, such as dictionaries, available to aid in interpretation of these non-verbal symbols. Moreover, there is no universal consensus on meaning of such symbols, which are often ambiguous and inadvertent; worse still is that this form of communication is continuous. In comparison to the verbal form, there is a higher likelihood for misinterpretation with non-verbal communication. In spite of that, research findings have indicated that more than 60% (percent) of meaning in communication is influenced by non-verbal symbols. That is to say, that people usually accept most easily the meanings that are most inaccurate, and therefore, the cause for problems in communication leading to numerous disagreements. Gregory Bateson (1972) described the extensive status of incongruence between verbal messages and non-verbal signals. He highlighted the complications that develop among members in a family as well as the dysfunctional repercussion of “double messages” (Gibney 2006). There are also numerous factors that hinder successful communication, and especially that work against the harmonization between verbal and non-verbal messages. These include language, environmental factors, attitude, stereotyping, bias and prejudice, complexity of message, time and timing. Verbal messages from a sender whose language is different from the recipient are most likely not to be understood; and in such scenarios, the recipient constantly seeks meaning from the body language, facial expression, tone and so on. It is difficult to take correction action even when non-verbal expressions indicates lack of communication since in the first place the sender is limited by language. Moreover, irrespective of the importance of the non-verbal feedbacks sent by the recipient, prejudice, attitude, stereotyping and bias may make the sender ignore these feedbacks. For instance, a speaker affiliated with the Christian religion and addressing an audience of Muslims and that touches on Muslim issues might generally dismiss a recipient facial expression as typical, even if may be the recipient heard or understood something else. Furthermore, when a communicator speaks and the recipient interprets the message basing on the speakers colour, age, or sex, it is likely that the recipient might not accept the person’s opinions, thought, or ideas. Birchenall and Streight (2002, p. 32) accepts that gender or sex bias is common problem in communication; male chauvinist will often wonder how a woman can perform effectively a man's job. Everyone in the society has some preconceived thoughts, prejudices, and biases and it is vital to understand and avoid them in communication. Another key hindrance to effective communication is emotions. Emotions, which include fear, suspicion and mistrust, are great barriers to free and open communications. Note that attempting to communicate without openness and in a free environment might lead to conveying false messages. There are various causes of such emotions, and although they are sometime vital in particular relationships, excessive emotions can prevent individuals to become effective communicators as well as forge effective relationships. Factors that assist effective communication In the event that one passes on a message for a recipient it is, essential that the sender pays attention to non-word messages he might convey as well as clarify the meaning the recipient got. In this respect, the sender should ensure that his facial expression mirror the message’s tone and mood, that his or her body language is in harmony with the meaning of his intended message. In case that he or she is uncertain of the clarity of the message to the recipient, it should be the prerogative of the sender to assess what the recipient understood. On the other hand, the recipient of the message should be able to make eye contact to allow the sender to gather non-verbal signals, that would assist him or her understand the recipients mood, more so, if the verbal and non-verbal messages sent are confusing; the sender should be flexible and skilled enough to make rephrases in such circumstances when he or she sends conflicting messages or repeat the statement if the recipient heard the wrong thing. Looking deeper into a recipients non-verbal expression or reaction to decipher the meaning is also important, especially if the recipient is prejudiced, biased, or feels inferior. Take for instance, a child who is seated probably on a bench within a school compound and everyone passing by ask about her and the child responds that she is very happy. There could be a probability that the child is not happy or she fears being reprimanded. However, such verbal communications are normally accompanied by non-verbal gestures that are expressed through ones body reactions. Being aware of this is vital for a sender to allow him or her to carefully harmonize the verbal and non-verbal symbols and thus help the receiver to consciously digest the message as well as comprehend better the issue at hand. In case the child adds an honest smile in the above example, it would be apparent that she is genuinely happy. Empathy is an aspect of communication that helps in enhancing the effectiveness while relating among people. It “is often characterized as the ability to put oneself on another person’s shoes” (Australian College of Applied Psychology 2009, p. 19). Understanding the orientation and background of other people including their needs and wants may help one in interpreting non-words messages. Furthermore, emphatic listening allows constructive and productive dialogue to materialize because the listener gives feedbacks. “A state of harmony” existing “between two people” (Birchenall and Streight 2002, p. 32) promotes effective communication while lack of it leads to the opposite. Active listening is also essential in ensuring that the sender evaluates the effectiveness of his or her speech. Listening attentively to what another person is saying prevents one from relying in the less reliable non-verbal message. Active listening also allows one to send feedbacks and further promotes understanding of another person’s feelings. The role of personal awareness All people have feelings and thoughts that are private and which vary from those that they can communicate openly, and everyone acts differently under various circumstances. Moreover, everyone is more open, interested in his or her feelings, and live than to other people’s feelings and lives. For that reason, one is likely to understand more about self than anyone else would. Self-awareness is very important for effective communication. The Johari Window is a good tool that helps persons to comprehend their interpersonal relationships and communication. Figure 1: The Johari Window (DeVito, 2001) Known to self Not known to self Known to others Open self Blind self Not known to others Hidden self Unknown self The Johari Window model explains the role of personal awareness in effective communication and four perspectives characterize it. These perspectives, which are represented as quadrants, describe feelings or any information that is known of oneself by oneself and other people. The quadrants, therefore, include the open self, the blind self, the unknown self, and the hidden self (DeVito, 2001). The open self-quadrant means that the information is known to self and to others, the blind self it is not known to self but its known to others, hidden self represent the situation where information is known to self but not to others while unknown self means it is known neither to self nor to others. Conclusion The verbal and non-verbal forms of communication are central in every person’s life. The non-verbal cues and signals are continuously being transmitted from one person, the sender, to others, the recipients. Ones body often passes on massages either involuntarily or voluntarily to other people in his or her presence. These messages are sometime different from those that one intends to convey. In addition, it is likely that ones intentions do not correlate with his or her real non-verbal experience or expressions. For instance, while one is speaking to another person the face could be conveying one message, the body another message, and the general appearance could be relaying a third one. However, effective communication occurs where the sender of a message shares a similar meaning and understanding with the recipient. Thus, incongruence between the verbal and non-verbal messages might result to the recipient getting a different message from the one the sender intended. In this instance, communication does not occur. Other barriers such as cultural orientation, language, the environment, attitude, prejudice and bias contribute to these differences in meaning of the message between the sender and the recipient. To make communication effective, therefore, one must look into feedbacks and employ the interpersonal skills necessary in ensuring congruent between the verbal and non-verbal messages (Hargie and Dickson 2003, p. 12). References Australian College of Applied Psychology 2009, Interpersonal communication, study guide, Australian College of Applied Psychology, Australia. Bateson, Gregory. "Toward a Theory of Schizophrenia," in Part III, Steps to an Ecology of Mind: Collected Essays in Anthropology, Psychiatry, Evolution, and Epistemology. University of Chicago Press, 1999, originally published, San Francisco: Chandler Pub. Co., 1972. Berlo, D. K. 1960, The process of communication: an introduction to theory and practice, Holt, Rinehart and Winston, Michigan. Birchenall, J. M and Streight, M. E 2002, Mosby's Textbook for the Home Care Aide, Elsevier Health Sciences. Community Partnership for Adult Learning 2005, Communication process, 5th April 2009, DeVito, J. A. 2008, The Interpersonal Communication Book, International Edition, (12th edn.), Pearson Education Inc., Boston, MA. Foulger, D 2009, Models of the Communication Process, Brooklyn College. Gibney, P 2006, The double bind theory: still crazy-making after all these years, Psychotherapy in Australia, vol. 12, no. 3. Hargie, O and Dickson, D 2003, Skilled interpersonal communication: research, theory, and practice, Routledge, New York. Harris, C. M 1981, social skills in interpersonal communication, The Journal of the Royal College of General Practitioners, vol. 31 no. 232, p. 687 – 688. Hayes, J 2002, Interpersonal skills at work, Routledge, New York. Maguire, T 2002, Barriers to communication – How things go wrong, The Pharmaceutical Journal, vol. 268. Sanchez, N, Communication Process, 4 April 2009, . Read More

Feedbacks can be either verbal or non-verbal. It is vital to note, nonetheless, that it can occur internally so that it is not apparent to the communicator, or externally such that the communicator can see. Lack of feedback in communication has prevented communicators from “knowing if meaning had been shared or if understanding had taken place” (Community Partnership for Adult Learning 2005). Therefore, skills are also essential to understand feedback (Hayes 2002, p. 8).The communication process requires both the sender and the recipient to be sufficiently equipped with skills in interpersonal and intrapersonal interactions, observing, listening, speaking, analyzing, questioning, and assessing to enhance and promote cooperation and collaboration.

The process can occur under various approaches and through various levels of the senses. It enables people to feel, learn, think, and understand while interrelating. Nonetheless, since it is characterized by at least interaction between the sender and the recipient of a message, communication is often complex and can lead to confusion if both verbal and non-verbal messages are not congruent.One main cause of breakdowns in communication is lack of congruence between the non-verbal gestures and the words spoken or written down by communicators; people usually fail to realize that with this scenario communication is impossible.

At any time, that one person is around another, he or she is continuously receiving and sending signals that would translate into various meanings, regardless of the absence of speech. Normally, the effect of non-verbal messages is two-sided and will either enhance the effectiveness of one's communication or detract from the communication altogether. It is important to note that the first aspect that one notices during an interaction with other people is the non-verbal indicators; similarly, people will recognize first the same indicators about him or her.

Non-verbal signals will explain aspects such as age, gender, emotions, and preferences.A major limitation of non-verbal language in communication is the lack of exactness. Definitely, there are no tools, such as dictionaries, available to aid in the interpretation of these non-verbal symbols. Moreover, there is no universal consensus on the meaning of such symbols, which are often ambiguous and inadvertent; worse still is that this form of communication is continuous. In comparison to the verbal form, there is a higher likelihood of misinterpretation with non-verbal communication.

Despite that, research findings have indicated that more than 60% (percent) of meaning in communication is influenced by non-verbal symbols. That is to say, that people usually accept most easily the mostly inaccurate meanings, and therefore, the cause for problems in communication leading to numerous disagreements.Gregory Bateson (1972) described the extensive status of incongruence between verbal messages and non-verbal signals. He highlighted the complications that develop among members of a family as well as the dysfunctional repercussion of “double messages” (Gibney 2006).

Numerous factors hinder successful communication, and especially that work against the harmonization between verbal and non-verbal messages. These include language, environmental factors, attitude, stereotyping, bias and prejudice, the complexity of the message, time, and timing. Verbal messages from a sender whose language is different from the recipient are most likely not to be understood; and in such scenarios, the recipient constantly seeks meaning from the body language, facial expression, tone, and so on.

It is difficult to take corrective action even when non-verbal expressions indicate a lack of communication since in the first place the sender is limited by language. Moreover, irrespective of the importance of the non-verbal feedbacks sent by the recipient, prejudice, attitude, stereotyping, and bias may make the sender ignore this feedbacks.

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