My Family Tradition - Essay Example

My Family Tradition My Family tradition In my family, tradition de s the practices that are passed from generation to generation that help to define unity in the family. In essence, the practices that define my family involve establishing a strong bond meant to help each other in times of happiness and sorrow. This helps to create cohesion in the family in the sense that, no family member is left to feel isolated. Individuality is not a practice embraced in my family and every problem or issues affecting the family is often discussed as a group that involve all the family members. With regard to relationships, my family is strict with regard to the upholding of the family norms where for instance, any intimate relationship that may lead to marriage needs approval by the elderly in the family. On the other hand, my family takes religion serious and it is viewed as the backbone of the family’s strength. The family in general including the extended family believe religion is the key to a happy life on earth. With regard to the roles that separate the genders, the women in my family takes the role of taking care of the house and child care (Dickstein, 2002). Conversely, men are seen as the providers and are obliged to work hard to ensure that there is food, clothing and shelter. On another note, going through the history of my family, it appears that education is an important part of the family tradition. For instance, my great grandfather was a scientist and this has been replicated in the subsequent generation. At present, pursuing a career in sciences has become a norm in my family. Further, holidays in my family are seen as a way of strengthening the family bond. As a tradition, during the holiday season all family members gather at my grandfather’s place where share both past and present stories related to the family in general. This period also provide the family with an opportunity to discuss how each family member is fairing on with life and whether there might be a need for assistance. In addition, in my family, the women are respected and there is no instances of male dominance in my family. The women are given equal opportunity accorded to the men in the family, this has elevated the women in my family and this is evident in the number of career women in my family. At present, there are doctors, teachers and administrators in my extended family. Major life events in my family are also taken serious and celebrated by the entire extended family. Such events include weddings, birthdays, ushering a newborn and graduation of a family member (Fritz, 2002). Another important event in my family is eating meals together since; this period provide the family with an opportunity to discuss issues arising within the family set up. During this time, the elderly in the family are able to give advice to the younger family members. Also, this period provides the family with an opportunity to solve problems affecting family members and improving communication between family members. Discipline among family members while outside the home is also emphasized in the family. This is seen as a way of maintaining the respected family image and family members are not expected to behave in a manner that is likely to damage the family image (Eaker & Walters, 2002). Overview of Attachment Theory Attachment theory focuses on the relationship or bond that exists between people and in this context, the relationship between a parent and child. The emotional bond that a person develops to another person like for instance, mother-child bond often influences attachment. In this sense, the bond that a child forms with their caregivers is considered to impact tremendously on the child’s life. According to this theory, the primary caregivers who take their time to respond to a child’s needs play a role in helping that child establish some level of security. Attachment further establishes a secure environment where, a child can explore his or her world since, the child develops confidence as a result of the caregiver’s dependability (Bretherton, 1992). On another note, attachment is considered to have a significant effect on behavior as evident in the work of Mary Ainsworth. According to her study, children can develop three styles of attachment that include secure, ambivalent-insecure and avoidant-insecure attachment. These attachment styles are also believed to on a person’s behavior later in their adult life. Attachment is important in human growth and development since; the attachment that people develop in their formative years has an impact on their later life. For example, children growing up in an environment where they are securely attached are likely to develop a stronger self-esteem and more independent. Attachment also has faces and includes first, pre-attachment stage (Ainsworth & Bowlby, 1991). This stage occurs when a child is born to the age of three months. In this phase, the infant does not exhibit any attachment to the caregiver. The next phase of attachment is known as indiscriminate attachment, and takes place between six weeks to the age of seven months. In this phase, the child begins to develop a sense of trust knowing that, the caregiver is around to respond to any of their needs. On the other hand the child exhibiting a strong attachment for one individual and in this instance, the mother, marks the third phase known as discriminate attachment. The last phase of attachment formation is known as multiple attachments where the child probably at the age of nine months is able to establish a bond with other people other than the mother (Ainsworth & Bowlby, 1991). Applying attachment theory to my family tradition In my family, we grew up under a secure attachment where the both the extended and the immediate family members were always there to provide us with a secure environment to explore the world. In the family, both the women and men take an active role in ensuring that children grow up in a normal way where there are provided with all the basic needs of life. The secure attachment provided by the elderly in the family has enabled family members to grow up with confidence knowing that there is always someone in the family to lean on whenever there is a problem (Ainsworth & Bowlby, 1991). Further, it is the secure attachment provided in the family that has enable the family to become united in times of happiness or problems. In the family, there is also a tendency where the female members of the family are more attached to the male parent while the male children are attached to their mothers. This in the family tradition is seen to provide the children with confidence to face the outside world. Within my family set up, there is a trend where the male relatives or parents are seen to provide the female in the family with a sense of security which, helps them to develop confidence in their adolescence life. In the family, it is believed that the lack of fatherly figure in a female child’s life is the main cause of irresponsible life by the girl child when faced with the outside world (Ainsworth & Bowlby, 1991). On the other hand, the attachment that the male children form with their mothers in my family is meant to help then deal with matters related to establishing relationship with the opposite sex. This attachment is important because it assist the male children in my family to interact with their mothers more comfortably when dealing with matters related to dealing with intimate relationships. In adult life, the secure attachment that is formed when children are growing is important in terms of helping family members develop a stronger self-esteem and a sense of self-independence. Most of my family members are achievers in life and this is contributed by the secure attachment that they received while growing up. Because of growing under a secure attachment, most of my family members are able to perform well in their education and contribute to the family’s history of academicians (Bretherton, 1992). The ease with which family members are able to raise issues affecting them during family meetings result from the secure attachment formed in the formative years. There is trust and confidence in confiding on other family members when faced with an issue since; the elderly in the family provide children with the much needed attention to enable the young children face difficulties while growing and to cope with the challenges of adult life. The unity visible in the family, would not have been possible were it not for an emphasis on establishing secure attachment with the caregivers. As evident among family members, there is more openness and respect for each other which, can be associated with the care provided in the formative years where parents are more close to their children and allowing children to develop attachment with other caregivers in the extended family like uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents (Bretherton, 1992). Overview of Ecological Systems Theory This theory is also termed as human ecology theory and it denotes five environmental systems that have an influence on an individual interaction with the environment. In essence, this theory defines a framework where one can understand the relationship that exists between individuals either in the family set up or in the community. In essence, this theory focuses on the environmental factors considered to influence human growth and development. According to this theory, there are five systems that affects a person’s development (Darling, 2007). Microsystem as postulated in this theory means the factors that directly affect a child’s growth and this include the family, peers, neighborhood or school. Mesosystem on its part, denotes the interactions that may manifest between the family and a child’s peers for instance. Further, exosystem as another system in this theory involves an event where the child is not actively participating, but still affects the child’s development. Example in this sense include a parent losing his or her job or the death of a significant other in the extended family. Macrosystem on the other hand denotes the culture that a person lives and may include socio economic status, family identity, values and heritage. With regard to chronosystem, this refers to the transitions that may take place in a family setting such as divorce that may have an adverse effect on a child’s development (Darling, 2007). Applying Ecological Systems Theory in my family tradition The relationship in my family set up is one defined by cooperation among the family members in dealing with both internal and external problems impacting on the family members. Discipline among family members is considered a priority when interacting with the neighbors, at work or at schools. My parents are accommodative and often want us to bring our friends home so that they can know the kind of friends we have; however, this sometimes affects our independence. We live in a neighborhood that is more conservative and thus; privacy is given priority. This often affects the interaction or relationship we have with the neighboring families (Laszlo & Krippner, 1997). On the other hand, my parents and the extended family believe in learning in a school managed by missionaries and in this case, schools managed by the Catholic Church. Their belief is guided by the need to instill the values of the Catholic Church to the growing children in the family. As a family tradition, the elderly often allow the younger children to interact with their peers, but this often occurs under the guidance of the parents. Character development is important in the family and this is why the elderly in the family are more concerned with the kind of friends that the younger in the family establish relations. The extended family has also experienced a number of problems that affects the development of children in my extended family. While divorce is uncommon in my family, there have been cases of my uncles or aunts losing their jobs as a result of the economic meltdown. This affects the lives of their children as a result of their parents either being depressed or preoccupied with a search for another employment opportunity. On the same note, the children suffer indirectly in the sense that their parents neglect them. I come from a middle class family and as such, I am able to afford the necessities that are provided by my parents who are working. In addition, the family also value unity and this has contributed to the extended family supporting each other in times of difficulties (Laszlo & Krippner, 1997). The micro, mezzo, macro perspective of my family tradition From a micro perspective, the tradition in my family involves looking at the family unit as a group of people that show love and care for one another and bonded by blood. The power structure in my family tradition involves the elderly making the final decision that impacts on the entire family. Over the past generations, it has been a practice for the elderly to provide the way forward for the family members. This is mostly influenced by their experience on matters that affect the family members that in some instances are almost similar from time to time (Vander Zanden, Crandell & Crandell, 2007). The micro level also influences my family tradition in terms of the family rules and roles that have been established. For instance, in order for a family member to consider marriage, one has to be considered mature enough by the elderly and parents in the family before engaging in a relationship that ends up in marriage. The roles among the family members are clear in that, the women take care of the home while men provide for the family. The micro level also has an influence on the communication pattern in my family where, openness is embraced in the family and family members can talk about any issues affecting their lives. There are also myths that exist in the family and this influence some of the beliefs established in the family and passed from generation to generation. With regard to the mezzo level, this has an influence on my family tradition in the sense that, my family needs the extended family and the community for support. This may involve the extended family providing resources that can support my siblings such as raising college tuition fee. On the other hand, the macro level has an influence on my family tradition in that, the family can learn about their history such as where the family originated or provide insight to the family’s culture and religious history (Vander Zanden, Crandell & Crandell, 2007). Conclusion Understanding family traditions is important in the sense that, it allows individuals to appreciate where they come from and learn about the history of their families. In order to develop a better understanding of family traditions, theories have been postulated to allow individuals to have an insight of the behaviors that they grow up with in a family and the relationships that they may establish in their future lives. My family genogram male my sisters close relationship with both my dad and grandfather female me and my brother’s close relationship with my mum and grandmother Paternal great grandparents’ Maternal great grandparents References Ainsworth, M. D. S., & Bowlby, J. (1991), An ethological approach to personality development. American Psychologist, 46, 331-341. Bretherton, I. (1992). The origins of attachment theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Dev Psychol, 28, 759–75. Darling, N. (2007).Ecological Systems Theory: The Person in the Center of the Circles. Research in Human Development, Vol. 4(3-4), 203-217. Dickstein, S. (2002) Family routines and rituals: The importance of family functioning. Journal of Family Psychology, 6(4), 441-444. Eaker, D.G. & Walters, L.H. (2002). Adolescent satisfaction in family rituals and psychosocial development: A developmental systems theory perspective. Journal of Family Psychology, 16 (4), 441-444. Fritz, G. (2002). Children and adults need family traditions. Journal of Family Psychology, 16 (4), 406-414. Laszlo, A & Krippner, S. (1997).Systems Theories: Their Origins, Foundations, and Development. Amsterdam: Elsevier. Vander Zanden, J. W., Crandell, T. L., & Crandell, C. H. (2007).Human Development. 8th edition (ed.). New York: McGraw Hill. Read More