A Summary on Couples Practicum - Term Paper Example

A Summary on Couple’s Practicum Time and Location The second session of counseling between Carrie and John (also known as Shawn) took place at 2.00p.m on April 5th, 2013 at the university’s health clinic. The Background Comments Statistics show that between 50-60% of first marriages in the United States end in divorce within a 40-year period (Gottman, 1999). Therefore, before making a decision to marry, premarital couples seek therapy or counseling to avoid going down the road of divorce when they get married. John (Shawn) and Carrie are experiencing some slight problems in their relationship, in which they have been cohabitating for more than three years. Both of them come from a stable family and they believe in treating marriage as a sacred entity. This is the second session of the couple’s counseling, and the goal of this counseling is to empower them to apply suitable control over their lives and make responsible choices regarding marriage. Detailed Summary of PAIR2 Test Prior to the second session of counseling, I gave the couple some assignment to do on their own, and the primary assignment was PAIR2 test. Below are the results of the 20 traits. Dominant Leadership - Dependent Suggestibility The standard scales for couple display a significant difference of more than 10 standard scores. John is high in this scale; thus, he is self-confident, dominant, forceful and comfortable in making decisions and taking risks. In addition, while John shows independence and may not turn to Carrie for decision, Carrie shows average independence and relies slightly on John for decisions and other weighty matters. This can bring some kind of friction on the relationship, but not enough to cause a massive fight of serious conflict. Aggressive Hostility - Submissive Passivity John and a Carrie seem to be balancing each other when it comes to communication. For instance, John shows remarkably high scores in aggressive hostility while Carrie scores low. This means that as John is highly stubborn and sometimes intolerable, Carrie is super-sweet and docile. Thus, while John tends to engage in arguments and attacks to engage people in conflict, Carrie will try her best to avoid conflict at all cost. Moreover, they both score the same on Submissive Passivity meaning that communication control between them is effectively balanced. Nurturant Helpfulness - Psychological Support John and Carrie are equally nurturing and encouraging in their relationship as they both fall under the high average region with a difference of only five scores. Seemingly, they support each other, which is achieved through minding each other’s needs, openness, ability to warm-up to each other and are concerned with the well being of one another. As such, this ensures that communication between them is maintained at a constant level, and there is little room for conflict. However, this contrasts with Psychological support because it shows that while Carrie is stable, John needs constant reassurance and encouragement. If this is lacking, he might tend to be unhappy and insecure and thus, focused attention is the key to their happiness. Self-Acceptance - Self-Rejection John and Carrie are both performing well in the self-acceptance and self-rejection sessions of the standard scale. For example, they both exhibit high standard scores in Self-acceptance and average standard scores on self-rejection with insignificant difference between their standard scores. This means that the couple has a healthy self-esteem, good level of optimism and confidence. This plays a crucial role in maintaining the rational strife in the relationship. Nevertheless, they also display slight levels of self-rejection as shown by their average standard scores in the self-rejection area. This may result from pessimistic tendencies that are eventually converted into physical complaints. However, the level is average and not at an alarming rate, thus does not require exploration for suicidal tendencies. Intellectual Rigidity John and Carrie have an average score on the IR scale meaning that they are flexible in terms of adjusting their opinions and perceptions to match the circumstances. This indicates that they are both likely to corporate in this therapeutic process and accept change or intervention. However, because the scores are almost going to the higher percentile means that this change cannot be achieved just because it is needed, but through open suggestion followed by appropriate thought and consideration. Therefore, the couple is opinionated, but also open-minded, listening and considering other points of view. Their beliefs and values seem to be identically shared, which means that if they decide to move from pre-marital and enter into marriage, they will likely be compatible. Physical Affection When it comes to PA, both parties have recorded similar scores, which are high, above the 60 percentile. This still proves that they are compatible with each other especially with regard to behavioral expressions, for instance, they both enjoy receiving and giving public display of affection in the form of kisses, embrace, holding hands and caresses. They are demonstrative of their feelings, comfortable with display of affection, and it seems that romance is a priority in their relationship, which is expressed via gifts, flowers, romantic phone conversations and even cards. Attention necessary to drive the relationship to prosperity is available among the couple, and hence, I think that they would not have a hard time living together as married couple. Emotional Control Similarly, in the emotional control area both parties enjoy a high depth and breadth of emotional control among themselves and even other people around them. Being similar in PA and EM is a good opportunity for the couple because it ascertains that they can cope with each. Dignity, objectivity and rationality, are obviously the priority in this case, which means that they calm and collected life, avoiding any public display of emotion. Therefore, they preach the message of reserved, self-sufficient, rational and intellectual about themselves, as well impression of aloofness. However, this non-emotional practice can also affect their relationship due to unease in expressing emotions for each other. Change and Variety - Order and Routine Carrie and John are both adventurers always ready to go, and this is because they score high in this area with a less than 5 point standard score. This continues to display their compatibility as seen in the scales. The couple is energetic, enthusiastic and ready to try out new adventures or new ideas. Interestingly, the couple displays a massive difference when it comes to Organized Routine. While Carrie scores extremely high on OR, John presents average score on this scale, with a difference of 30 point standard score. Carrie is who is described as “Miss Perfect”, but, on the other, hand John is laid back and gives little attention to order, conscientious, neatness and routine. Given this difference, it provides an opportunity for a battleground whereby Carrie can get frustrated with John’s disorderly nature. Esthetic Pleasures - Social Extraversion There is no significant difference between the scores of John and Carrie as they have average approval of the cultural and arts elements. This means that they can engage in numerous activities and enjoy together, which presents an opportunity to build and benefit their relationship by exploring their interests as they are compatible. However, the X factor recorded in EP – SE indicates some level of conflict, and this could be due to the difference in the Social Extraversion scale. John is outgoing with a greater amount of social interaction than Carrie. This might bring some friction because Carrie enjoys intimate and smaller social settings while John enjoys a wider social setting and involvement. Social Status Social advancement is extremely crucial for John recording a difference of 20 standard points between him and Carrie. This means that he is more conscious than Carrie about their social status level, and possibly not satisfied with it. This might create conflict, but the couple can restrain the situation through communication and tolerance. Family Cohesiveness John shows significant enjoyment and respect for family values and interaction, but Carrie is a bit reserved in this area. John views family as a sacred institution that must be respected, and, in fact, he values extended family with traditional attitudes towards marriage. Carrie stands for modernity and liberal with preference for defined consensus family roles, as well as smaller family units. This could cause a conflict because while John might choose to live closer to extended family, Carrie might prefer settling far away from family. Monetary Concern John and Carrie have only 5 standard scores points difference indicating that they have an equal level of consciousness regarding financial dealings and management. Thus, money makes significant meaning to both of them as they both have preference for careful management over financial undertakings. Hence, once again compatibility between the couple is witnessed. Political Conservatism The couple’s compatibility deviates in this area due to the difference in political perspectives. Carrie wants government processes and involvements out of her life; thus she can be described as individualistic and independent. The political conservative Carrie desires to be free from government intrusion, and as a result, she may be vocal of her feelings regarding politics and government. On the other hand, John thinks that government is a necessity in his life, thus, favor government’s involvement in activities such as civil rights, welfare programs, control of education or profits regulation among others. Therefore, the couple is not compatible in this area, and they need to find ways to moderate their perspectives. Outdoor Interests Similarly, in outdoor interests scale Carrie still scores higher than John in this area further presenting incompatibility. Carrie has a strong desire for outdoor activities and would literally like to do anything and everything out of the house. Thus, indoor events are likely to irritate her or make them hypercritical, but this contrast with John who finds no excitement in out-door activities such as hiking, camping and all events that happen outside the house. Hence, while, for Carrie, a romantic treat will be a stroll on the beach, John would prefer a romantic evening sitting in front of a fire. Forcing one another to accept one’s preference would certainly create a conflict in this relationship. Narrative Summary of the Session This session was more interactive that the first one as the couple answered questions promptly and appropriately. However, I still noticed some responses were accompanied by mmmh…aah and hmmm…. for the case of both parties. Both of them seemed surprised at some of the outcomes of the PAIR2 Test, but, fortunately, there were no strong negative feelings detected. This gave me an easy time reasoning with them and giving suggestions on what they could change in their relationship. The couple were more relaxed and at ease as compared to the first session. The mood in the room was also jovial as they talked without expressing resentments or negative attitudes. They asked many questions as compared to the first session, and these were such as the kind of problems they would likely encounter in their marriage. The session went on smoothly and that goes same for the termination session. Assignments The primary test was the PAIR2 Test, which gave the couple an opportunity to explore one another’s personalities. The test helped them to improve understanding, identify underlying dynamics of problems, personal strengths and dynamics of personality. The other assignment I gave the couple was conflict regulation skills, which they gave a positive report that it helped them in expressing their thoughts effectively, and reducing arguments and conflict. Counselor’s Thoughts The couple’s relationship is highly challenged because they show disparity in several scales of the personality profile. However, they are also compatible in various areas, which give some hope that they can work things out and have a successful marriage. The couple has to realize that communication is the principal element that can help them achieve a fulfilling relationship, and eventually marriage (Hawkins, 1991). In addition, the couple needs to explore the vital elements of marriage outlined by Worthington (2011), which are closeness, communication, core vision, central beliefs and values, cognition, conflict resolution, complicating factors, confession/forgiveness and commitment. People who are cohabitating tend to have union dissolution brought by future marital problems, than those who enter directly into marriage (Miller, 2011). Hence, I believe this premarital intervention will help them understand one another effectively and learn how to cope in marriage life. The interventions I used were effective and I would employ them in another couple if come across same case. References Gottman, J. (1999). The marriage clinic: A scientifically based marital therapy. New York, NY: WW Norton & Company. Hawkins, R. E. (1991). Strengthening marital intimacy. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House. Miller, R. (2011). Intimate relationships. New York, NY: McGraw Hill. Worthington, E. (2005). Hope-focused marriage counseling: A guide to brief therapy. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic. Read More