My Personal Personal Problem that Caused Discomfort in My Life - Term Paper Example

Introduction The psychology of human behavior and the theory of cognition try to explain why and how the events take place and subsequent pattern of human behavior under certain condition involving emotional and metaphysical reaction. Thus, counseling becomes important for persons who may have developed some sort of socio-psychological problem, resulting in low confidence and low adjustment within the given circumstances. The identification of problem and its causes are important paradigms for counselors and suggest appropriate interventions for socially acceptable levels of adjustment. I am obsessively protective about my twin sons. This seems to have turned into a big problem which is increasingly creating huge misunderstanding in my family relationship with wife, sons, relatives and even my acquaintances. I have therefore, decided to go for counseling. Background I am 29 years old married man with twin sons. I am presently working and also completing my higher education which could not be completed earlier due to family problems. I am emotionally very insecure and have low confidence level. I also have huge problems in trusting other people. Though marriage has improved my self confidence but after the birth of my children, my earlier securities have suddenly become more prominent. I do not like to leave my sons alone with anybody barring my wife. This is increasingly creating rifts between my wife and me because she needs to go out for work and if she leaves, I stay behind to look after my sons. I cannot bear to leave my sons in the care of relatives, friends or carers. My wife thinks that this obsession is unhealthy and needs to psycho analyzed for living a good and contented life. Identification of problem After much retrospection, I realize that my wife is right. I cannot trust even my mother or mother-in-law alone with my sons! This is indeed, totally unfair to my relatives. The only explanation that I can give is that I was molested when I was 13 years boy by my maternal uncle and since then I do not trust anyone. I had told my parents about the molestation but they had refused to believe because the uncle used to show a very different persona in front of my parents. I had withdrawn myself from others and had started perceiving dual personality in every person, especially relatives. I had become temperamental. Parent’s refusal to understand my plight had seriously affected my relationship in general. May be mother agreed with father because she was a timid personality and was often bullied by my father. While the circumstances had made me more independent, it had adversely impacted my emotional security and trust. After being an extrovert, I have turned into an introvert whose distrust has made few friends. I had found solace in my wife’s love and trust. She had understood my problem because she too had faced such situation in her childhood. But her parents were very understanding and she was able to overcome her doubts and insecurities. I believe that I had also considerably become more secure in my relationship with other family members. But, after the birth of twins, those insecurities have suddenly emerged with a vengeance! Now that my twins are going to be four and would shortly start gong to play-way school, I need to come to terms with my problems and redevelop trust in other people. Theoretical perspectives and counseling Byrne (2005) asserts that all human beings are capable of rational thoughts and their actions are guided by the underlying principles of the same rationality. The rationalization process broadly follows deductive reasoning, the normative conclusion is often accompanied by the imaginative ‘if and but’. Thus, these imagined counterfactual suggestions become dominating elements if the past experiences have been bad and considerably impact the decision regarding human relationships. Indeed, the cognitive model of rational dissolution is one of the most important psychological paradigms that greatly promotes a sense of doubt and imagined ‘counterfactual thought’ that prevents the person to act in a rational manner. I had therefore, decided for counseling and for six months I went under rigorous counseling which has significantly improved my socio-psycho well being. Indeed, the theory is very pertinent to the development of my adult personality. I have had huge issues like welfare of the vulnerable segment of the society, especially children; trusting others, and being independent. I have had to fend for myself since the age of 13, when I was molested and my parents had refused to have faith in me. I had become fiercely independent but somehow not so confident. People’s ability to perceive and interpret the same becomes the major elements of developing successful social relationships. Thus various factors that have significant influence in the perception and interpretation of persons, events or issues need to be analyzed for improving one’s skills of social interaction. I have identified the problem and its cause. The counseling sessions have greatly facilitated in my adjustment within the social structure. The factors that had significant impact on my childhood have been responsible for my adult behavior vis-à-vis my present and future relationships and my attitude, especially towards my sons. The presence of rational dissolution is quite apparent in my life. It is reflected in my nature that prevents me in leaving my sons in the care of others, especially relatives. Female relatives may be equally incapable of preventing a crime if they are timid like my mother! Intervention and outcome But counseling has helped me cope with the circumstances so that I am better able to relate with the changes through improved emotional adjustments. The rational repair theory focuses on inculcating constructive behavior based on positive attitude and learning from the past experiences (Baumeister et al., 1994). Thus, developing positive attitude has become an important issue for me. I was able to rationalize my actions based on positive approach. The change was immediately visible in my social interactions. It also increased my self esteem as my positive mind-set helped me to overcome my mistrust of people in general. I was also able to accept that my in-laws and relatives are trustworthy. I am thankful that my family greatly facilitates constructive relationship. I am totally satisfied with the outcome because I am now ready to leave my twins in the care of my mother-law and even keep them in day care centers. (words: 1038) Reference Baumeister, R.F., Heatherton, T.F., & Tice, D.M. (1994). Losing control: How and why people fail at self-regulation. San Diego, CA: Academic Press. Byrne, Ruth M, J. (2005). The Rational Imagination: How People Create Alternatives to Reality. MIT Press. Read More