Divorce Harms Children - Research Paper Example

Divorce harms children Marriage is a union of two souls and child is the manifestation of the blessing of the Almighty in reality. However, such a bonding does not always last till eternity. The growing percentage of divorce is an alarming problem researched by the sociologists as well as social scientists. Some of the causes attributing to the divorce are addiction to drugs, alcoholism, stress of daily life and workplace, high level of ambition, materialistic dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment of emotional needs. Whatever be the reason for divorce, an innocent child always finds himself or herself between two adults engaged in the conflict. Such conflicts often lead to despair reflected through the child’s immaturity, poor performance at the school level, social segregation, poor level of cognitive development, and lack in confidence. Childhood as a formative period of human life bears immense importance for the future development of adulthood. It deserves a detailed discussion on the possible harmful effects on a child arising form a divorce of his parents. Furthermore, it is also interesting to note whether it bears any positive fruit for the child as well. Divorce is a multifaceted problem and the level of its misdeed depends upon the associated individuals. In this era of price inflation, cost of living is kissing the zenith. In this circumstance, a divorce will always bring certain financial bottleneck for most of the individuals. For a single mother who is not working, it is hard to bring up her child with the present level of social security. Such a financial setback might lay hurdle in the progress of the child’s education and career building. Again, financial bottleneck can get reflected through his clothing and toys or recreational tools. This brings in certain level of envy towards his other mates. A child tends to understand and feel the world from his immediate surroundings and the people he has the closest access to. Hence the way he interprets the world and its people depends a lot on the kind of parenthood he gets. The level of insecurity that he is subject to from his very childhood might turn him into an introvert and also a kind of distrust gets embedded in his young heart. A child with a single parent might find himself socially misfit since from the very beginning of childhood he distinguishes himself from others since he finds himself under the care of single parents unlike many others who are getting the attention from both the father and the mother. This often might lead him to find some outlet in the form of addiction towards drugs and alcohol at a very young or pre-mature age (Wallerstein, Blakeslee and Lewis, 186-87). Lack of proper monitoring owing to the single parenthood he gets more exposure to the social circle than the other normal children. Hence he might become a victim of sexual abuse or involve himself in corruption. Selecting the wrong friends and acquaintances is often the result of an unstable and discontent mind. This kind of harmful company might lead the child further away from the surveillance of his parent. (Peters, 6; Fagan and Rector) The above analysis holds under certain assumptions. First, the parents are rational human beings, no one is subject to drugs or alcoholism, they are psychologically fit and further, they have stable character bounded by social norms. If any one of them or some of these ideal assumptions does not hold, then divorce can yield positive results for a child. For instance when one of the parents suffer from mental or psychological disorder and abuses the child then it is always better for the child to stay away from that parent. A divorce under such circumstance is a blessing. Children are sometimes ashamed to introduce their friends to their households owing to such an environment, which is plagued by interpersonal conflicts between the parents – “When warring parents divorce, many are relieved, happier or at least less miserable” (Peters, 2). Also, it is often theorized by certain parenting experts that if a child lives in a marriage, which is disturbed and where the couple is always engaged in fights and unpleasant arguments, the chaotic environment is harmful for the growth of the child. Such children would rather gain in long run if their parents were divorced. However authors like Wallerstein (the author of ‘The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce’) opposes this theory. She opines, “keeping the family intact is of such import that even if unhappy or lonely, parents who are able to remain civil (not exposing the kids to fights, coldness or extreme disagreements) provide a better option than divorce” (Peters, 1) This obviously means ignoring or compromising individual happiness for the sake of one’s child which is hardly found amongst today’s couples. Her research shows that as the children who are victims of having divorced parents grow up they too begin to feel insecure about their relationship and incur the fear that these associations will not mature like their parents. The idea presented by Peters is that a parent needs to make an adjustment here even if one of the couple is tired of the other partner, he or she should remember that his or her partner is also the father or mother of his or her child. Therefore parents considering divorce should also engage in adequate provision of time to their children, do a lot of soul-searching and introspect within oneself considering and evaluating the stability of the family rather than one’s individual happiness. Taking with other people like friends and relatives or visiting counselors might help in mending a circumstance rather than impulsively moving towards a divorce. Around “four out of ten children” witness their parents’ legal separation before they mange to reach the threshold of adulthood. Annual about one million children find their parents undergoing separation in the United States. Certain studies with respect to this issue suggest that such children undergo a bad experience compared to the children possessing both parents. “A low level of test scores, lower educational achievement, and a higher likelihood of dropping out of high school” (Tartari, 1) are some of the examples of such outcomes. Child psychological bears testimony to the fact that a conflict or fight between parents is not positive for a child’s growth of mind and his overall development. Problems related to “aggression and conduct issues, anxiety, depression, withdrawal, and low self-esteem” (Tartari, 1) have been found in the children. The public policies reveal that a family with both parents can provide a healthy childhood to the offspring. This clearly suggests a negative connection between the rates of divorce and the consequences with respect to the children. Several nations have been formulating strategies to encourage marriages and discourage divorces. Encouraging marriages, which are healthy, is a component of the agenda of the federal government. If a couple remains married then they gain a monthly bonus of $100 provided they earn a low level of income (Tartari, 1). The steps adopted by the government to promote the stability of marriages support the importance of the social issue. Parents might be counseled into to resolve their differences for the sake of their children, but in case the divorce is inevitable then children might also undergo counseling which might help them understand the situation better instead of shying away from the reality. Parents need to talk and assure the children that their decision is meant for the betterment and help the child eel comfortable with the situation despite the initial hurdles such a decision might enfold (Block, Kemp, Smith and Segal). It is important to explain to he children the practicality of the situation such that they do not feel ashamed about such an issue or feel alienated from his peers. Yet, despite all unlike the special cases when divorce might provide relief to the children (as discussed above) a decision of divorce needs careful evaluation before the legal proceedings are carried out and adjustments for the sake of the child’s benefit is the most ethical decision which might be taken under such situation because just like marriages are made in heaven, even children are gifts from the heaven. Works Cited 1. Fagan, Patrick and Robert Rector. “The Effects of Divorce on America”, October 2000, available at: http://www.worldandi.com/specialreport/divorce/divorce.html (accessed on August 5, 2010) 2. Peters, Ruth A. “Should parents stay together for the sake of children?”. Today Contributor. Available at: http://www.ruthpeters.com/Articles/Should%20Parents%20Stay%20Together.pdf (accessed on August 5, 2010) 3. Tartari, Melissa. “Divorce and the Cognitive Achievement of Children”, University of Pennsylvania, 2005, available at: http://www.econ.upenn.edu/~mtartari/JobMarketPaper.pdf (accessed on August 5, 2010) 4. Wallerstein, Judith S. Blakeslee, Sandra and Julia Lewis, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, Hyperion, 2000. 5. Block, Jocelyn, Kemp, Gina, Smith, Melinda and Jeanne Segal, Children and Divorce. April 2000, Available at: http://helpguide.org/mental/children_divorce.htm (accessed on August 5, 2010) Read More