Reflective on Mother Death - Essay Example

She needs us more than ever”. “Will she be okay I ask?” “Don’t worry, we will be there for her and see what happens”. Before I could begin to ask if this was the end, he told me he needed to leave and be there with her. I told him that I would come the next day early morning. After he left I made a couple of phone calls, one of them being my secretary at work. I told her that I did not know when I would return to work. She expressed to me how she wished that she was there to hold and comfort me.

After saying goodbye, I cried myself to sleep. Seven months have gone by since she left us, but the pain and agony of my mother’s death don’t seem to lessen. It is true that life doesn’t stop altogether with the loss of a loved one. I continue to spend each day carrying out my routine activities same as before but I am still going through the turmoil of her death and thoughts of her last days yet fill my mind. I’m sometimes angry with myself of not taking better care of her even though I did the best I could.

I also have a sense of resentment and anger against I don’t know whom exactly. I feel like I’ve been cheated; my mother who was so lively, healthy and active has been snatched away from me. There are so many other people living, why did she have to go? She was so much needed by all of us. Watching my wonderful and lively mother struggle with disease and dying bit by bit each day was something very upsetting for me and it has left me changed in a way that I am still not able to feel happy even about good things because she is not here with me to celebrate or enjoy any events or joyful occasions.

My feelings while seeing her die and taking care of her while she was trying to fight death are difficult to express and therefore writing about the agony I went through while she was slowly going away is perhaps the most difficult task I have undergone yet. I have so many mixed feelings about her death.