Analysis of Premarital Counseling - Research Paper Example

Analysis of Premarital Counseling Abstract In today’s society, marriage is an institution that is under threat; the divorce and separation cases are becoming increasingly rampant. Young men and women are giving up on marriage because of fears such as divorce. Family therapists are facing difficulties trying to make people understand that marriage is not as bad as it has been portrayed. Because of these difficulties, premarital counseling has been introduced. It is meant for young people, who are dating and considering marriage in the near future. They are taken through sessions dealing with issues that arise before and after marriage, such as insecurity in relationships. Many times, young couples opt for premarital counseling when their relationships are already damaged. It is a high time that people realize that premarital counseling should start immediately one gets into a serious relationship. This salvages many relationships because the partners get to be well equipped with skills to deal with issues that arise in their relationships. Keywords: Premarital Counseling, Marriage, Divorce, Dating, Relationship, Contraceptives Introduction Many couples today have the tendency of asking for quick solutions to their problems, when they go for counseling. This tends to solve their current problem until the next one erupts and for this reason, it is a very wrong move. Young couples need to work on their relationships and salvage them from the start. Premarital counseling is an opportunity to explore the changes that are occurring in a relationship and setting good standards for a long and satisfying future. There is always an educational aspect in premarital counseling, where the couples learn the most important attribute in a relationship, which is communication skills (Foote, 2013). A couple is able to understand that the relationship they both yearn for is not the one they start with, but the one they build. This is because they are two unique persons from different backgrounds, who have come together so as to make their relationship work. A research conducted on Family Relations in the year 2003 reviewed 23 couples and found that premarital counseling was very important and effective (Ceren, 2008). According to Ceren, the couples that participated in premarital counseling reported significantly stronger marriages compared to those that did not participate (2008). Case Study of Steve and Nadia In premarital counseling, the couples learn about different issues that are very important in a relationship, such as sexuality. My case study is on a couple that is about to get married; that is, Steve and Nadia. They have dated for several years after meeting in college. They have been intimate with other partners before they dated. There are aspects of sexuality that the couple needs to know before they get married, such as arousal and response, intimacy, and contraception. When the topic of sexuality is mentioned, the first idea that comes into peoples’ minds is the physical act of sexual intercourse, but sexuality goes beyond engaging in sexual activity. In every human being, sexuality is part of the physical, emotional, intellectual, and social self. Sexuality affects the way a person thinks about himself or herself and how he or she relates to others. Sexuality is part of the entire life of a human being (The Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada, 2012). There are many factors that affect sexuality for example sexual orientation, gender, hormone levels, age among others. Sexual arousal and response starts from the brain; that is, the human body responds to sexy thoughts or images, or even a feeling toward a partner. The feeling of arousal is then sent to the rest of the body, especially the genitals. For both men and women, the major component of arousal is increased blood flow to the genitals. Since the females and males have different reproductive systems, then the arousal affects the genitals differently. On average, the time taken by men to become aroused is shorter, compared to women. Steve and Nadia need to understand this, since they are partners from different sexes. Steve should try and slow down during a sexual activity and know that Nadia might not become sexually aroused as quickly as he does. This will bring understanding in the relationship. The couple should also understand that how fast a partner becomes aroused can change each day, depending on wide range of factors such as how relaxed or stressed the person is. Arousal depends on whether the couple is positively feeling each other. All this will determine on how each partner responds to the other, during a sexual activity (The Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada, 2012). It is good for both Steve and Nadia to talk about the things that are stressing them, in order to have a healthy relationship. Contraception refers to the measures that are taken to prevent pregnancy. Any measure used in contraception is called a contraceptive. It allows people to have sexual intercourse without having an unintended pregnancy. There are many reasons why the topic of contraception is very useful when counseling young people, who are about to get married because through the topic, they are able to know the importance of spacing children. Contraception also helps the couple to get children according to their financial stability and time accommodation so as to be responsible parents. There are different methods or measures in contraception and each has its own advantages and disadvantages. While choosing a contraceptive to use, Steve and Nadia should seek advice so as to be able to choose the method of contraception that best suits them. When a contraceptive is established for the couple, it should be used effectively and as prescribed by the doctor. There are safe and reliable contraceptive methods such as use of condoms, copper T, pills containing female sex hormones taken by the female among others (Prabhu, 2013). As seen earlier, sexuality is not only limited to the physical act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a partner. It goes beyond that, since it involves even the physical and emotional aspect of a human being. In premarital counseling, the couple learns how to deal with expectations, hot buttons before they arise, and long standing problems giving them skills to tackle the future. This will help Steve and Nadia to deal with the emotions that may arise, because they can really affect the self. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love Many people have had the argument that the best way of describing a romantic relationship is using Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love. Sternberg argued that, romantic relationships can be categorized along three independent dimensions, which are intimacy, passion, and commitment (Dunbar, 2012). According to Sternberg, passion reflects those aspects of a romantic relationship (Dunbar, 2012). This is commonly perceived by many people as falling in love. It can be an intense focus on the object of one’s desire and does not necessarily have a sexual component. Intimacy reflects the feeling of closeness and connectedness towards one’s partner. According to Dunbar, commitment reflects the desire to support and remain in physical presence of another person (2012). This theory provides a view of how different relationships might vary on the three dimensions. For example, infatuated love comes when passion is high, while intimacy and commitment are low. Romantic love on the other hand is derived from a combination of high intimacy and high passion and no commitment. Compassionate love is a combination of high commitment and high intimacy and absence of passion. When all these three dimensions of love are all high, that’s when there is complete love (Dunbar, 2012). There is a lot to learn from this theory. It serves as a good reminder that reciprocity is a significant feature in every intimate relationship. It can also be learnt that a relationship can lean on one dimension, and thus tend not to work. Dunbar also points out that the three dimensions can serve as stages of developing a relationship (2012). What risk factors pertaining to health can you infer might be present from the scenario? What can the couple do to minimize these risks? In the scenario, Steve has had multiple sexual partners, while Nadia has had one sexual partner before they stated dating. There are many risks that come as a result of engaging in premarital sex, especially with multiple partners like Steve has had. Premarital sex is very dangerous because it can lead to contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, such as syphilis and gonorrhea. The couple is also at a risk of contracting HIV and AIDs. For this reason, Nadia and Steve should make sure they get tested, before being intimate with each other or use prevention measures such as condoms. Another way of minimizing or preventing these risks is by practicing fidelity. They should be trustworthy and respect their relationship, rather than engaging in sexual activities with other partners. How will you show cultural competence during your sessions (i.e., what cultural issues should you consider)? Both Nadia and Steve are Americans, but they are from different cultural backgrounds. Nadia’s grandparents are originally from Egypt. They are also from different religious backgrounds; Nadia is Muslim, while Steve is a Christian. This couple is an interreligious and intercultural couple (“Interfaith Premarital Counseling,” n.d.). As a counselor, I will ensure to deal with both cultures without favoring one side. I would consider issues such as raising children, which in this case, would require exposure to both cultural and religious backgrounds to avoid favoring one side, as well as how to show respect to the other culture and religion for each partner and remain united. Reference List Ceren, S. L., 2008.Essentials of Premarital Counseling: Creating Compatible Couples. Michigan: Loving Healing Press Inc. Dunbar, Robin. (2012). The Science of Love. Hoboken: John Wiley & Sons. Foote, L. (2013). Premarital Counseling. Retrieved September 12, 2003, from http://www.goodtherapy.org/pre-marital-counseling.html Interfaith Premarital Counseling. (n.d.). Retrieved September 12, 2013, from http://premaritalcounselingnyc.com/interfaith-couples/ Prabhu, V. (2013). Sex Education to Adolescents .Retrieved September 12, 2013, from http://www.healthlibrary.com/book37_chapter388.htm The Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada (SOGC). (2012). Sexual Arousal and Orgasm .Retrieved September 12, 2013, from http://www.sexualityandu.ca/sexual-health/understanding-sexuality/sexual-arousal-and-orgasm Read More