How A Parental Divorce Affects Early Childhood - Research Paper Example

? How A Parental Divorce Affects Early Childhood Psychology HOW A PARENTAL DIVORCE AFFECTS EARLY CHILDHOOD INTRODUCTION: Divorce – once a taboo word that rarely used to cross the minds of couples, is now practically an epidemic, destroying almost half the households in America. Of course divorce destroys the bond between a husband and a wife, but the worst damage is incurred by the ones who usually have nothing to do with it – the children. No matter what the age of a child, divorce almost always causes stress for him. Divorce causes devastating effects to the lives of children, mentally, socially and even physically. The effect of divorce on children’s hearts, minds and souls ranges from severe to mild, from seemingly small to massive, and from short term to long term. Especially when the child is below the age of 10, divorce affects his life in such a way that the damage remains with him throughout his life in one way or the other. In 1991 Amato and Keith carried out a research involving 13,000 children ranging from preschool to young adulthood on the affects that divorce causes to their lives. The overall result of this analysis was that children from divorced families are somewhat worse off than children who have lived in intact families. They face difficulty in school, have behavior problems, they have more negative personalities, they face problems with peers, and more trouble getting along with their parents. A more recent update of the findings indicates that this pattern continues in more recent research (Amato, 2001). It can be said that the divorce between parents is not only limited to them. Figuratively speaking, it happens between the parents and a child as well. Not only that, the child sometimes also has to breaks bonds with some members of his family like grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. It can be said that divorce ultimately causes a decline of the relationship between parents, a child and the entire family collectively (Meneghan E.; Parcel T, 1995). INCREASING DISTANCE BETWEEN PARENTS AND CHILDREN: Parents are the primary source of emotional, mental and even physical development for a child. A child looks up to his parents as perfect role models that will help bring him up and provide all the tools required to face the challenges of the world. At a closer look, it can clearly be seen that parents, when divorced not only loose their compatibility with their child, but also loose their competency to look after him as well. Various studies indicate that parent portrays diminished parenting practices soon after a divorce. As compared to parents living together, divorced parents, though having best intentions for their child, are not able to offer the same emotional support to their children. A divorced mother sometimes is too distraught with her own grief over a broken marriage that her child suffers with her as well. He may not be looked after as efficiently, his education may suffer, even his health might be affected as a result. On the other hand, in divorce cases, it is the father who has to usually lose the custody of his children, especially when they are too young. This eventually causes him to drift away. Another factor that causes the child to loose the support and grooming from the father is remarriage. A remarried father tends to become more involved and emotionally close to his ‘new’ children. Divorce had caused a feeling of incompetency in him when it came to looking after his children, thus, he tries to give more than 100% to look after their new children. Sadly, it is his natural child that has to suffer the consequences (Weiss Y., Willis R., 1985). THE DIRECT AND INDIRECT EFFECT OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN: Sociologists and psychologists are just beginning to provide reliable information about the effects of divorce on children. There are a number of important factors. Research shows that the effects depend on the age of the child at the time of divorce. It can also depend on the child’s gender and personality, the amount of conflict between parents and the support provided by friends and family. Divorce has many direct and indirect effects on a child which may range from mild to devastating. These effects are reflected in almost every aspect of the child’s life. These effects can mainly be classified into 3: 1. Physical 2. Psychological 3. Social 1. Physical Effects of Marriage on a Child: Divorce does not only cause mental and emotional damage, it also physical effects on the child. A study declared that the mortality rate of a child increase especially when a divorce occurred before his fourth birthday (Singh G., Yu S., 1996). In most cases of divorce, the custody of the young child ends up with the mother. In these difficult times, it is extremely difficult for a mother who is facing post-divorce depression, to competently take care of her children, especially their health. Economic and financial matters also play a hand in the deterioration of the health of a child. Sometimes, the father is the only earning member of the family. After the divorce, this responsibility ends up on the shoulders of the mother, who has to eventually step out of the house and find work. She starts giving less time and attention to her children which affects their health. The quality of nutrition may also be affected in case of a working mother. She may not be able to afford the same quality of food for her children that her husband did. Secondly, if the child gets ill, she may not have the time to look after him. 2. Psychological Effects of Divorce on a child: This is where divorce causes the most damage to a child – psychologically and emotionally. It is a surprising, but absolutely true fact that the psychology and mental well being of a child is damaged as a result of divorce, even if he is an infant! Though infants may not understand the conflicts that go on between his parents, he can still sense the change in the parents’ moods and energy level. This may in turn change the mood of the infant as well. An indication of this might be that he looses his appetite, spits more frequently or has an upset stomach and may become more fretful and anxious(Corcoran K., 1997). The damage increases as the age of the child increases as he can now understand what is going on between his parents. Preschoolers find coping with divorce especially difficult, which makes sense given their greater immaturity and fewer coping skills. They might start blaming themselves, though innocently, for the separation of their parents. Abandonment may also be a fear factor for these children. They may show baby-like behavior, such as wanting their security blanket or old toys, something that reassures them and reminds them of their ‘complete’ life with both parents. The child may become more aggressive and angry towards the parent hi lives with. Nightmares are also a common by-product that children this age face due to the stress of divorce. Denial could also be a resultant. They may deny that anything has happened, or become extremely negative in their attitude, portraying aggression and anger. School going children are the most burnt with emotionally due to a divorce. They are old enough to understand and feel the pain that has resulted due to the divorce of their parents. However, they are still too young to control their reactions to this pain. The immense feeling of being deceived and the sense of loss dominates their lives. The usually cling on to the hope that someday, their parents might change their mind and get back to living together like a family. Rejection is also commonly observed in children this age. They feel that their father of mother, whichever the case might be, has rejected the child due to various reasons. These reasons are mostly innocent, like not doing homework on time, or not completing the house chores etc. Grief, embarrassment among other their age and intense anger become part of their personality (DeBord, K., 1997). Neglect of children, which frequently is more psychologically damaging than physical abuse, is twice as high among separated and divorced parents. The process of divorce completely breaks the will of the parents to look after their children. Either their recede into their own depression, or engulf themselves in their social or professional lives to forget the pain of divorce. However, it is the children that have to experience neglect. This amplifies their loneliness and their longing for the other parent who has left. In most cases, a child facing neglect either looks for attention elsewhere, may it be in the parent of his friends, or at school. This attention seeking attitude is not always positive, as the child is prone to doing socially unacceptable or harmful actions in order to get attention. On the other hand, the child be abandon the hope for attention altogether and recede into a mental cocoon. This is the a more serious situation out of the two as it starts breaking the personality of the child from the inside. Children like these have a much higher chance of being damaged metally. 3. Social effects on a child due to divorce Though the social circle of young children, under the age of 10, is limited to their home or school, divorce does affect the way they interact with society. Emotional insecurity that children feel during the process of divorce is reflected in their interaction with others of their age at school. They are looked upon as outcasts by their peers which increases the frustration in them. This in turn leads to emotional turmoil which boils out in the form of anger, aggression and retaliation. A child from a divorced family directs his aggressiveness towards his peers at school, usually becoming a school bully. However, he is so emotionally distraught that he may break down in tears is he can’t get what he desires. Divorce diminishes the capacity of children to handle conflict. Just like their parents, who could not handle marital conflict, which eventually ended up in a disaster, children of divorced parents acquire the same incapacity of making tough decisions and staying clearheaded under pressure. The worst troublemaker in school, the child who engages in fighting and stealing, is far more likely to come from a broken home than is the well-behaved (Forehand R, 1987). Education is also one of the primary things that are affected by a divorce. The mind of a child is too simple to handle the extreme emotional turmoil and sudden change in the family structure. This affects the mental ability of the child to a significant extent. According to a study done by Kent State University, children from divorced homes performed more poorly as compared to children with intact homes in spelling, reading and math (Popenoe D, 1997). Moving is also a contributing factor in the deterioration of education of a child. A single parent tends to move much more than an intact, settled family. This move may be due to the constant struggle to provide better living condition to their children. But in fact, it does more damage to the child than good. Children have to constantly adjust to the new environment, especially when it comes to school. The already emotionally insecure children have to face the challenge of being accepted by the new kids at school. Mostly however, this does not end well for them. Their belonging to a single parent alone is enough to alienate them from the children of intact families (McLanahan S, Sandefer G, 1994). CONCLUSION: It is apparent that divorce has pervasive weakening effects on children. This weakness is not only limited to just children alone. As divorce is becoming a norm in the lives of Americans, it is a fact that the generation of today is physically, emotionally and mentally weaker that its predecessor. This weakness resonates across the nation and if concrete steps aren’t taken soon, the future generation may be weaker still. The overall result of various studies clearly indicates that children from divorced families experience more major psychological and behavioral problems than children in intact families. The significant point is not whether children from divorced families are having difficulties, but what are the factors that cause them. Current evidence suggests that the loss of contact with parents, inter-parental conflict, economic difficulties, parental adjustment and competence, and stress and all contribute to the difficulties of children in some form or the other. Not only these, but some minor problems also contribute to the mental and psychological development of a child. These problems, though minor, have the tendency to continue on, from the childhood into adolescence and beyond. These are the painful memories and the feelings of helplessness that create and permanent impact on the life of the child. It doesn’t really matter how many researches have been done, and how many are still under process when it comes to the affects of divorce on the lives of children. What really matters is how the studies by various researches, social workers, psychologists and community service providers are used in order to counter this devastating epidemic that is practically infecting almost every other household in America. Tough, its primary target just seems to be the husband and wife, it is their children that have to bear the burn for their misunderstanding and intolerant attitude which stains their innocent childhood and scars their entire life. BIBLOGRAPHY Amato, P. R. (2001). Children and divorce in the 1990s: An update of the Amato and Keith (1991) meta-analysis. Journal of Family Psychology. Elizabeth Meneghan and Toby L. Parcel, “Social Sources of Change in Children’s Home Environments: The Effects of Parental Occupational Experiences and Family Conditions Journal of Marriage and the Family, Vol. 57 (1995) Yoram Weiss and Robert J. Willis, “Children as Collective Goods and Divorce Settlements,” Journal of Labor Economics, Vol.3 (1985). Gopal K. Singh and Stella M. Yu, “U.S. Childhood Mortality, 1950 through 1993: Trends and Socioeconomic Differentials,” American Journal of Public Health, Vol.86 (1996). Kathleen O'Connell Corcoran, Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce, 1997, http://www.mediate.com/articles/psych.cfm#stress, 2011 DeBord, K., Focus on kids: The effects of divorce on children. North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service (1997). Rex Forehand, “Family Characteristics of Adolescents Who Display Overt and Covert Behavior Problems,” Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, Vol. 18 (1987). David Popenoe, Life Without Father, Martin Kessler Books (1995) Sara McLanahan, and Gary D. Sandefer, Growing Up with a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps, (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press (1994). Read More