Cyber Love - Truth or Fiction - Research Paper Example

?Research Topic: Cyber Love- Truth or Fiction? The advent of technology and internet has simplified the way men and women meet each other and get involved. Using a qualitative descriptive approach, this research examined the responses and narratives of common people residing in the city of . The findings implied that cyber love, although popular, is mostly fiction which tends to befool people into fraudulent activities, and people use cyber dating in order to pass their times. Although the research shed extensive light upon the issue of cyber dating, yet there is need for further research to take this study at a broader level where the attitude of people from different demographic locations and cultures is compared in order to get a better understanding of the concept of cyber love in cultural context. Introduction “Internet dating is a big, booming and global business”, states Hemmings (2005). It is very popular and common in today’s modern world and thanks to online social networks that anybody and everybody is meeting people online and getting interested in each others’ hobbies. This may turn into love which we call cyber love. There are thousands of websites dedicated to cyber dating specifically which give the opportunity to many men and women, individually or in groups, to meet online without having the need to meet in the physical world. The aim of these websites is to connect people for the development of personal and romantic relationships which may also be sexual in nature. It also results in matchmaking for marriages in many cases. Individuals give off their own personal information and match it with other individuals’ information on the basis of gender, age, race, nationality, and etcetera. Weopia and Omnidate are two popular online dating services. Literature Review Arvidsson (2006) studied many profiles and case studies in his research about the online dating website, Match.com, to understand how online dating affects information economy. He found that cyber love and dating guides the “technologically enhanced communicative and affective capacities of internet users to work in ways so that this produces economically valuable content” (p. 671). In support of this research, Whitty (2008) also studied about the nature of relationships that form on online dating services and found that online relationships tend to empower people in making choices about their soul mate while sitting in the comfort of their homes and provide “a unique environment for people to experience and learn about relationships and sexuality” (p. 1837). Gibbs, Ellison and Lai (2010) conducted a valuable research on the uncertainty reduction theory and the warranting principle regarding the privacy concerns of the online dating services and found that personal security, misrepresentation, recognition, and self- efficacy were the primary privacy concerns shown by their research participants. Cyber love also gives rise to matrimonial infidelity- a serious issue studied by Elwood-Clayton (2005) in which she tells that cyber dating makes it very easy for men and women to become a cheat on their spouses. In support to the research conducted in the past, this paper is going to re-interpret the understanding of cyber love and cyber dating with focus on question: cyber love is truth or fiction? Methodology Participants The population of interest was common people of different ages, gender, race and marital status residing in < your city>. Total number of participants was 515 of whom 2 gave personal interviews and 513 completed the survey. Out of these, 2 who were interviewed online were the service providers of JDate.com and mate1.com; and those who completed the survey included 34 employees of different companies, 28 teenagers, and 451 middle aged and elder people (see Figure 1). 60% of all participants were male and 40% were female (see Figure 2). The mean of their ages would be 40. 60% of the participants were married; 30% were divorced; and, 10% were single (see Figure 3). 150 of those 513 respondents who completed the survey wrote narratives at the end of the open-ended questionnaires. These narratives told their experiences at the dating services. The rest 363 respondents simply answered to the closed-ended questions with yes or no replies, and to questions which had to be answered grading from 1-10. Survey The survey consisted of 10 closed-ended questions, 5 open-ended questions, and 10 questions which were to be graded from 1-10. The survey is given below: Give your particulars Name: Age: Gender: Marital Status: Profession: Sr. # Please mark Yes or No response. 1 Do you use dating websites? Yes No 2 Is your experience pleasant? Yes No 3 Do you stick to one dating website? Yes No 4 Do you date online to pass time? Yes No 5 Do you date online to find sincere mates? Yes No 6 Do you think you are ditching your spouse? Yes No 7 Are your intents purely sexual? Yes No 8 Are your intents purely honest? Yes No 9 Have you found your soul mate from a dating website? Yes No 10 Should dating websites be promoted? Yes No Please write your experiences in response to questions below (Optional): 1 State any noteworthy experience you have had while using a dating website. 2 How often do you visit a dating website? 3 Why exactly do you date online? 4 Do you think cyber love is truth or fiction? 5 Do you think one can find an honest soul mate through cyber love? Please grade following questions from 1-10 (high to low) 1 My frequency of use of dating websites 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2 Online dating kills time effectively. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3 Online dating is a good way to find a soul mate. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4 Online dating is purely fraud. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5 Online dating satisfies sexual instincts. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6 Online dating means infidelity with spouse. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7 Cyber love is a waste of time. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 8 I am sure I will find my soul mate online. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 9 I use dating websites just to check them out. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 10 I will keep on using dating websites. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1 I intend to quite cyber love. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Interviews The two interviews that were conducted with JDate.com and mate1.com service providers consisted on the following questions: 1. Since when are you running your dating website? 2. Who registers more with your website? Married people, divorced, or single? 3. What is usually the age group of your registrants? 4. What is the reason people give while registering with your website? 5. Do you check your members’ profiles regularly? 6. Do the members use your websites just for sexual purposes or with the intent of making honest relationships? Data Collection Data were collected through a mailed survey using Tailored Design Method that was sent to the participants to be filled. Tailored Design Method consists of precise groundwork and distribution of survey materials and questionnaire so that response rate is increased. As far as personal interviews are concerned, structured interviews were prepared consisting of all research questions. Appointments were taken. The interviewees talked about the nature of services their websites provided and what kind, age and gender was most interested. The distribution of survey, collecting the results, and conducting personal interviews, took two weeks in total. Analysis The narratives which the respondents wrote at the end of the survey were recorded down verbatim and then were analyzed using content analysis. Content analysis analyzes big chunks of texts and reduces them to fewer understandable chunks based upon specific coding techniques. A thematic content analysis was then conducted, comparisons were made, patterns were noted, and details were discussed. Data saturation was achieved just after the analysis of 134 responses. The analysis portion of the research took two weeks. Responses of 20 participants Here, I give the narrative responses of ten teenagers who were college students. 5 of them listed here are female and 5 are male. These participants were those who attempted the section 2 of the questionnaire which was optional. 1. Jim (age 18) 1. Once I fixed a date with my online partner on which I told her to meet me at a restaurant. I waited at the restaurant for 3 hours and she did not come. I contacted her on the website but she never logged in after that. 2. I visit the dating website at least once a day. 3. To have fun. 4. Cyber love is fiction. Everybody cheats. 5. Yes, one can find a soul mate if one is honest online. 2. Robert (age 17) 1. No special experience. 2. I use dating websites twice a week. 3. For sexual pleasure. 4. Cyber love is fake. 5. Not at all. Dating websites are not there to find soul mates. 3. Smith (age 18) 1. Once I asked my girlfriend to send me her pictures. When I saw her picture, she was my cousin. I never revealed that to her and continued to play games with her. 2. Every day. 3. That arouses me sexually. 4. Cyber love is fiction. 5. No. People do not tell who they actually are, so no chances. 4. Joey (age 16) 1. Every encounter is special. 2. All day long because my parents do not give me time. 3. Just for fun, whatelse. 4. I do not know a thing about love. 5. Who knows? It is all fate. 5. Mike (age 18) 1. One day, I was going through the profiles when I caught my father there too. That was amusing yet sad. 2. Thrice a week. 3. It makes me happy. 4. Cyber love is nothing. 5. May be. But it all depends upon the intentions. 6. Sarah (age 17) 1. I had two profiles. Once a dater offered me his pictures. I saw them. Next day I logged in from the other profile and asked the guy to send me his snaps. The snaps were same which means that he was a flirt. 2. At least once a day. 3. Just for pastime. 4. Cyber love may be true if luck is with you. 5. Yes, why not. 7. Mary (age 16) 1. No special experience. 2. Once a week. 3. To kill time enjoyably. 4. Cyber love is fiction. It cannot be true. 5. Yes, at least I am searching for a sincere partner. 8. Adele (age 17) 1. Once I caught my classmate on a dating website who had given his real particulars. When I asked him on campus, he freaked out. 2. Once a month. 3. To look for a sincere relationship. 4. Cyber love can be true but not most of the time. 5. I think so. 9. Ashley (age 17) 1. Dating websites are boring. I have never had a special experience. 2. I have used it only once since I started using the internet. 3. I used it just to check it out. 4. It is fake. 5. I never tried finding one. I do not know what other people have in their minds. 10. Carol (age 18) 1. Yes, I visit them quite often. 2. As I said, quite often, that means may be all day long. 3. I use them to find a soul mate whom I may marry. 4. Cyber love is true, I guess, if people stop making fake profiles. 5. Yes, dating websites can be used to find an honest person. Findings Popularity of Dating Services 70% of the participants reported that they had used a dating service at least once since they started using the internet. All male subjects reported they used dating services for sexual purposes and no honest relationship was intended; while, 70% of females responded they used dating services to check out the websites with no real intention. The rest 30% of females reported that they used dating services to find a soul mate (see Figure 4). The male respondents included teenagers, middle aged and elderly people above 50 years of age. The female respondents were all middle aged. It was also noted that all teenagers and divorced people used dating services; and, 70% of married people used them at least once. The rest 30% of married people refused using any dating services (see Figure 5). Interviews Interviews with the two services providers showed that most single and divorced people registered with their websites. Married people also registered but their number was fewer. They stated that the reasons registrants gave while registering mainly include loneliness and anxiety. They stated that they checked their registrants’ profiles and found out that most members used dating services for sexual purposes and no honest relationships were intended. Discussion The qualitative survey and its findings helped prove that dating services are very popular among people who use the internet. Teenagers use them for pastime and divorced people use them to satisfy their sexual instincts. Some married people use them because of infidelity and some for pastime. Men mostly use dating services for sexual gratification while women are mostly looking for honest soul mates. Most married people do not use dating services at all because they are happy with their matrimonial lives and also because of religious restrictions. Limitation in the Study and Recommendations The limitation in this research was that the research included participants residing in the same city due to which data saturation was reached much earlier after analyzing only 134 responses. It is recommended that in future research, people from different cities and cultures must be analyzed so that it should be known how much popular dating services are in sub-urban areas and other cultures. Conclusion The survey provided the participants with the opportunity to share their experiences with cyber love. It was concluded that dating services have revolutionized the dating practice and the concept of cyber love has given a new meaning to relationship development. Cyber love, however, remains fiction because people misrepresent themselves on the internet and truth is rare. People pass their time on their internet and look for sexual gratification much more than honest relations. It is about time that people start recognizing the difference between honest and dishonest relationships because many a times, the relationships made online result in real life frauds and criminal activities. Identity theft is one big internet crime that people using dating websites must be aware of. We also come to know that in today’s world, people are so depressed, stressed out and lonely that they find online dating a very convenient way to find relationships and friends. Their depression makes them come online with false identities where they trap other people and play with their feelings. Hence, cyber love can only become true if the intent is pure. It is all about the story of intent. Even if intent is honest, it is very difficult to find a pure relationship online that can be called a soul mate. This research helped proved that people fall prey to their own fascinations and temptations, and dating websites are those successful e-businesses that are making use of people’s false and dishonest temptations by providing them such services with which they not only pass their time interestingly but also satisfy their sexual and dishonest purposes. Graphics Figure 1: Research Design Figure 2: Gender- Males 60%, Females 40% Figure 3: Participants Figure 4: Intent of males and females in using dating services Figure 5: Frequency of online daters and non-daters according to marital status References Arvidsson, A. (2006). ‘Quality singles’: internet dating and the work of fantasy. New Media and Society, 8(4), pp. 671-690. Elwood-Clayton, B. (2005). Desire and loathing in the cyber Philippines. The Kluwer International Series on Computer Supported Cooperative Work, 4(2), pp. 195-219, DOI: 10.1007/1-4020-3060-6_11. Gibbs, J.L., Ellison, N.B., & Lai, C. (2010). First comes love, then comes Google: An investigation of uncertainty reduction strategies and self-disclosure in online dating. Communication Research, 38(1), pp. 70-100. Hemmings, J. (2005). Internet dating. Be Your Own Dating Coach. USA: John Wiley and Sons. Whitty, M. (2008). Liberating or debilitating? An examination of romantic relationships, sexual relationships and friendships on the Net. Computers in Human Behavior, 24(5), pp. 1837-1850. Read More