Addiction can self discipline help - Essay Example

Arpit Waghmare Academia Psychology 8 March 2006 Addiction - can self discipline help The human being primarily desires relationships. In the absence of wholesome relationships the heart remains unfulfilled. We are created to receive satisfaction and joy through interaction and attachment with others. When we are denied these an emotional hole remains which we endeavour to fulfil through other non-relational or relational means, which could be dysfunctional. Sometimes these coping mechanisms could remain harmless and not cause substantial damage to the person's lifestyle. When these coping mechanisms become dangerous and beyond control, they turn into addiction. Addiction is a compulsion to repeat a behaviour regardless of its consequences. A person who is addicted is sometimes called an addict. Experts differ on the use of the term 'addiction'. Some would like to limit the use to apply only to cases of drug or alcohol use which have gone beyond acceptable levels. Nevertheless the term 'addiction' is also used to describe out of control behaviour in areas like eating, gambling or sex. This is because it is recognised that in all the above cases the 'addict' engages in behaviour that is directly or indirectly detrimental to his well being. Often the addict is well aware of the adverse effect of his addictive behaviour, but is unable to stop the behaviour. Addiction is often characterized by a craving for more of the drug or behavior, increased physiological tolerance to exposure, and withdrawal symptoms in the absence of the stimulus. Many drugs and behaviours that provide either pleasure or relief from pain pose a risk of addiction or dependency (Wikipedia). It is normal to expect the immediate reaction to addiction as one that is judgmental where one tends to lose respect for the person having the problem. This is understandable because a lay person who is confronted with an addict cannot understand the justification for the addict to continue with the addiction. Everyone has heard of alcoholics, but even in an informed age very few sympathize with one. The more natural response is to hold the addict responsible for his addiction and put it down to failure in self discipline. The question that needs to be asked is why is it that certain people have certain addictions while others don't. On the outset it may seem that an alcoholic (for example) has a greater affinity to alcohol than other normal people. The truth is that this greater affinity for alcohol came about because this person has been denied other needs which he is trying to fulfill through his consumption of alcohol. As another example we may take a woman who has a string of disruptive relationships with men. The reason for this could be a dysfunctional relationship with her father where she does not get adequate love from him. She attempts to fulfill this unmet need through her other relationships. Sadly, she can never fulfill that need in the method she adopts because no one can substitute for her father. So she is embroiled in a vicious cycle of search and disappointment, and we have an addict to the search for love (Hart). Unless a focused attempt is made by the person with or without help professional or otherwise to expose the unmet need that is causing the addiction, the relationship between the addiction and its cause remains unknown. In fact most of the time the addict is in denial about his/her pain. This pattern of denial appears to be a response of the mind to the pain or the need in order to make the solution more effective. And this pattern only makes the addiction stronger because the person slips into dependency without being conscious of the need which the addiction is meeting. The more unconscious this relationship the more powerful the addiction (Hart). When we talk about self discipline we are saying that following a practice of abstinence from the addictive behavior will help in reducing the behaviour. There have been cases of men and women with great amount of will power who have successfully abstained and eventually overcome their addictions. But these would be people with a very high level of motivation - where the drive for the gains in overcoming the addiction is greater than the pain that the addiction relieves. But for most ordinary mortals, even the best and honest intentions could result in failure. The disheartening fact is that each such failure results in a deeper addiction. An addict who recognizes his situation starts off with a resolve never to repeat his addictive behaviour. This initial period of abstinence denies him of the medication he was used to for his underlying pain. This causes discomfort. Eventually the addict experiences a heightening of the pain through specific circumstances like disappointment, disagreement or any such event which disturbs him. The addict also experiences what is called as a trigger - an event or feeling that reminds him of the pleasure of his addictive behaviour. The combination of the two or even one of the above reduces his resolve to combat his addiction. He begins to find reasons to give into the addictive desire ('this will be the last time, I haven't given in for a long time I'm sure I can manage just this once', etc.). He eventually gives in to his addiction. Once the behaviour is complete, he falls into a self depreciating mode where he chides himself for his failure. He feels a sense of guilt and low self esteem and shame. If he has the emotional strength (which he may regain after some time), he tries to resolve again that he will never fail and the whole cycle starts again. Over a period of time, even this resolve could die and he will simply keep giving in to the triggers. When he reaches this stage he looks for more and more avenues of fulfilling his needs since he finds that his pain is not quelled by his current behaviour. This is when the level of addiction progresses to deeper and more dangerous behaviour. A smoker may become an alcoholic, an alcoholic may get into drugs, a sex addict may progress from softcore pornography to hardcore pornography etc. So it may seem that an effort in cultivating self discipline is powerless in combating addiction. But this is not completely true. Self discipline has a significant role to play. Self discipline can be defined as the ability to follow a certain predefined course of action regardless of ones emotional state (Pavlina). Addiction is the exact opposite of self discipline where the emotional state is virtually dictating the course of action. It is the result of an emotional muscle which has become completely weak (Pavlina). This muscle must be trained to resist the emotional strain and help the person follow the course of action decided. But even if this self discipline is achieved it does not resolve the original reason for the addiction. It does nothing about the emotional hurt or pain. It is important to address this issue even as the addict is training himself in self discipline, otherwise the pain and the lack of medication (through the addiction) will result in dysfunctional behaviour by the 'former' addict. A completely clean state in most addicts cannot be reached on their own. To help complete recovery there are two major steps that the addict must first take. 1. He/She must get into some system of accountability. This could be with a close friend/family or an accountability group like Alcoholics Anonymous. In case of a close friend this friend can be someone whom one can meet regularly, who is mature, and who is willing and available for this purpose. There needs to be honesty with this person so that the role the person is playing can be fulfilled. The person can ask pointed questions about the addict's progress so that there can be an evaluation of his status. There could be apprehension about the loss of respect and love of the friend because of failure but this is rarely the case because true friends would stick by the addict inspite of failures and help them get over them and start again (Micheal). It is useful to identify patterns that lead to the addictive behaviour. The triggers or stressful circumstances that cause the behaviour must be identified so that they can be combated when they appear the next time. An evaluation of past addictive behaviour can help isolate these circumstances. The addict must cultivate the discipline under accountability of identifying these circumstances and learning to resist them. So now this is more than just a resolve to 'never do it again', it is a systematic process of raising the defenses under the specific circumstances when it is likely to 'happen'. 2. He/She must find a way to pinpoint the original need that the addiction is trying to fulfill. Once the medication of pain through the addictive behaviour is not happening, the pain will surface. The addict will begin to become conscious of issues in his past or present which are causing hurt or frustration or any other emotional pain. Sometimes there is need to deal with past events or circumstances. The pain must be recognized and dealt with. Treatment and healing must be received. It is advisable to go through this entire process along with a professional counsellor (Micheal). The amount of time this may take varies from case to case. There are cases where healing has taken place instantly once the pain is recognized and there are cases where the healing has taken years. Whatever time it takes the process is invaluable in dealing with the addiction. It could take great resolve and self discipline to go through with it. Once the emotional pain is isolated and dealt with the addict need not be any longer a slave to his addiction because there is no reason for it anymore. Hence to summarise the matter under consideration - namely whether self discipline can help in dealing with addiction: yes, self discipline is vital in the battle against addiction, but it is self discipline in the broader sense - not limited to directly battling the behaviour, but extended to going through a systematic process, involving other people, of isolating the pain causing the addiction and receiving healing for that pain Works Cited "Addiction." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 8 Mar 2006, 15:34 UTC. 8 Mar 2006, 19:43 . Hart, Archibald D. "When coping becomes addiction". Troubledwith. October 2004. Focus on the Family. 8 Mar 2006. Pavlina, Steve. "Self Discipline". Steve Pavlina, personal development for smart people. 5 Jun 2005. Micheal, Ashley. "The support of a friend". Troubledwith. 2003. Focus on the Family. 8 Mar 2006. Read More