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Reflection on Beauvoir’s work of Becoming a Woman Up to my teenage years, my family resided in a quiet suburban neighborhood that allowed me to get a perspective on how married life takes shape in one’s life. This is because I got to see newly wedded couples move in and gradually start their families with the hope of providing a serene environment with proper influences and proximity to essential amenities, reputable private schools included. The best illustration for my final perspective on marriage and general family upbringing came from our next door neighbor- the Petersons.
They moved in when I had just joined high school and because they had a swimming pool my siblings and I were quick to offer them a welcome and forge a relationship with them. This resulted in us, mostly I as I particularly enjoy swimming and participate in competitions, to get an up close view of how they live. The couple, Richard and Sheila Peterson, was both in their early thirties and had no kids though occasionally their nieces and nephews came over as they offered to babysit for their siblings when they were otherwise occupied.
Because of them, I developed a somewhat cynic perspective on the institution of marriage. This perspective first took root when they had a barbeque and invited everyone within the neighborhood. At the time, Sheila was working as a nurse at a private clinic in town, twenty minutes away from the residence. Her profession could explain her warm, outwardly maternal nature that saw her insist on having people over at their house on an occasional basis. The barbeque was on a Saturday afternoon and she prepared all the meals and drinks as well as looking after other people’s kids as they took a swim and played around.
My first impression was that she must be a superwoman to be able to handle all that in such a seemingly effortless way. Mostly this was because I noticed Richard never offered her any sort of assistance, his role was solely as the financial provider. Their second and third barbeque quickly shifted my impression of her as a superwoman to her as a slave and the husband as a chauvinistic, old-fashioned man. He never offered any assistance and when asked he would simply point out that she should ask her female friends.
If Sheila attempted to express any disapproval or make a complaint, he would justify himself by saying that it was his money that had made it possible for the barbeque to even take place. Richard’s mentality of the man having a single responsibility as the financial provider brings clarity to Beauvoir’s work where she suggested that women are subordinates as the men take on the ‘superior’ role. Sheila’s continuous giving in to his unwillingness to offer any assistance suggests that subordination has been implanted in women making it become acceptable as the norm.
This coupled with the fact that all the other women, my mother included, never at once objected to helping her but merely complained silently that that was life (De Beauvoir 3). When I asked my mother how that was acceptable yet my father offered on a few occasions to help with cleaning the house and preparing dinner, she laughed and said that my father was a rare exception that the majority behave as Richard does. She went on to tell me that was how it had always been with their mothers and grandmothers taking on the same responsibilities and accepting that reality.
I wondered why none of them ever complained and demanded a sort of compromise, and once again she laughed it off saying it is the norm. Right across from us lived Mark and Ruth Harrison, who were both career-driven individuals that always kept the rest of the neighborhood informed on financial, political, legal and all other relevant developments in the country when and as they took shape. Being both well-learned and living more than comfortably, I greatly admired them. Nevertheless, there was this one habit about them that startled me which was the fact that Ruth had to always be home by seven.
This was so that she can prepare dinner and help the children with their homework regardless of when Mark was on leave or had arrived home early. This illustrates Beauvoir’s depiction of the woman as being the symbol of life where her main role will always be as mother, robbing her of her individuality expressed through her career, hobbies and general personality. Similarly, Richard Peterson exhibited this notion by always refusing to help out with their nieces and nephews in terms of ensuring they are properly fed and bathed.
The most he could do was ensure they had completed their assignments. Towards the end of her book, Beauvoir restates that the woman’s character is as a result of her situation and not vice-versa as would be expected. This is because even with the most non-conventional women, they still have to submit to a certain level of passivity and subordination to men. As seen with Ruth Harrison who in spite of having advanced education and fervently pursuant of her career, still had to give primary attention to the role of mother and wife.
This makes it difficult for society to acknowledge other achievements made by women such as scholarly successes, where a woman’s sole success lies in ensuring her children are brought up with the right manners and education that go on to define their character. Work Cited De Beauvoir, Simon. The Second Sex: complete and unabridged for the first time. New York City: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group 2010 [1949]. Print.
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