Love, Respect and Caring for Others, Role in Personal Happiness - Research Paper Example

Module Love, Respect and Caring for others: Role in Personal Happiness The concept of happiness is one that has for centuries concerned philosophers, such as Aristotle, who widely reflected on what happiness was and what makes individuals truly happy (Kenny and Kenny 13; Sihvola 13). The importance of happiness in life is not in question, as it can be seen to occupy all spheres of life. Aristotle suggested that happiness is the supreme good upon which the purpose and value measures of all aspects of human activity are centered. The role of human interrelationships in this supreme good that informs all our activities is also a subject of much investigation (Kipfer 179). The world has experienced human strife and unhappiness to extreme levels in the past and in modern times. This study seeks to investigate the question “to what extent must we love, or otherwise care about or respect, others to be happy?” Love, care and respect here are the subjects of human interrelationships whose role in the pursuit of happiness is under investigation. The approach selected for this study is through a critical discussion and comparative study of two pieces of literature backed by a number of supportive points from other sources. The two primary sources are Gulla’s (13) chapter II and Bernard’s (87) chapter V on love and happiness. The guiding thesis to this study is that love, care and respect for others are of utmost importance for us to be happy. The views of the two Literature Sources on Love and Happiness According to Gulla (13), love is one of the main sources of happiness, as it cleans up negative thoughts and helps in the avoiding of emotions, such as anger, pain and worry. The author translates love to mean the showing of compassion to others, understanding them, showing of patience and letting others express themselves in the given relationship. Being of broader dimensions beyond physical intimacy, Gulla argues that love involves the feelings of well-being about those around us, including spouses, parents, relatives and friends. The author categorically states that developing the capacity to love other human beings is a prerequisite to finding true happiness. To support this argument, Gulla observes that happiness oozes in an environment filled with affection and compassion for others. He states that a number of studies indicate that making other people happy through showing them love and compassion is in creation of an environment of happiness and, thus, our own happiness. The precise action through which love generates happiness includes the self esteem that accompanies loving and being loved back. In a subtle manner, love provides a stimulus in which happiness is generated. The author is of the opinion that loving and respecting others is a perfect way to remain in a happy condition (14). Gulla (14) also employs contemporary and historical global strife to further exemplify the relationship between love and happiness. Here, he argues that absence of love based on religious, cultural, national and economic differences and disparities can be directly and subtly related to the lack of happiness on the planet. Hatred on the basis of viewing other people and communities as being different from us is the main reason behind the political and social challenges that face the modern world, exemplifying conditions in which happiness cannot pervade. Closely related to love, Gulla (15) discusses the issue of respect for others and its relationship with happiness. Here, individuals or groups uphold perceptions of superiority based on national, regional, social, economic, religious and racial discourses among other considerations. The result is often a lack of respect for the other party, as universal brotherhood is left to imagination. This lack of prioritizing respect and love for others causes strife among people and communities and generates an environment in which both parties cannot experience happiness. The element of care for others is also an important aspect of achieving happiness (Gulla 15). Care is mutually exclusive with primarily measuring achievement with material comforts. This is the case in most societies and nations. It makes individuals less sensitive to the pain and suffering of those around them, as they quest for individual needs. The ultimate result is lack of happiness in the society. Thus, Gulla categorically argues that love, care and respect go a long way in determining how happy we are. Benard (87) also discusses the role of love in the pursuit of happiness based on the views of Ellis, a philosopher with over half a century of clinical and personal experience studies of love. Love here is defined as any type of more or less intense attraction and/or involvement with another party on an emotional level. Although Bernard discusses love as being a usually gratifying emotion that helps insure human survival and creates vitality and happiness among humans, its level of requirement and role in happiness is questioned. The first argument provided is that although it is desirable to love and be loved, love is not a basic necessity for survival. Individuals can still be happy even in the absence of a loving relationship as exemplified by continued survival after relationships are terminated by separation, divorce or death. Another argument through which Bernard supports his stance is drawn from people’s perceptions on the need of love in their life. Bernard argues that love can be viewed in terms of a desire and need. In most cases, individuals have the belief that they must have love to survive and, thus, upset themselves and others when they are without love. Bernard states that individuals do not always need what they desire. Thus, love gains a heightened level of importance due to our perceptions of the need to have it. However, Bernard (88) also explains happiness can be achieved in the absence of the desired love through maintaining relationships and participating in social, recreational and work activities. It is, thus, discernible that Bernard’s definition of love as involving intense emotional attraction is what provides the divergent view on the role of love in achieving happiness. Engaging in strong and rewarding social and recreational relationships with those around involves valuing, respecting, caring and loving them. Thus, it can be argued that Bernard still appreciates the importance of love in the pursuit of happiness, with the only differences being his definition of it to refer to close relationships. Other elements of Bernard’s discussion also highlight the important role of love in happiness. For instance, he discusses the concept of love slobbism, an exemplification of obsessive-compulsive love. Here, individuals strongly believe that they need to be loved and, thus, define their self worth in terms of love from other parties. The uncertainty and volatility that accompanies most love relationships means that love slobbism leads to a less satisfying and fulfilling life and ultimately advent of unhappiness. It is discernible that Bernard’s view on the role of love in happiness is that our perceptions give it a heightened importance. Whether it is by perceptions or not, the importance of love in the pursuit of happiness, thus, stands. The analysis of the two sources above can be tempered with gaining insight from other sources and undertaking personal reflection on the issue. Kipfer (179) highlights the importance of love in the achievement of happiness through stating that caring about other people’s happiness is important to self happiness. The more an individual does for others, the more happiness they can achieve. Actions here include allowing those around us sufficient freedom, space and time, listening to them and showing respect to them. It also involves helping and caring without the placing emphasis on the returns from doing so. The reward is how one’s actions to those around affect the individual. Kipfer’s views support Gulla’s position on the importance of loving, respecting and caring for others in the achievement of happiness. They also address the issues raised by Bernard about obsessive-compulsive love, where the view that not anticipating rewards from others solves Bernard’s concerns about slobbism. Love, respect and care for others, thus, maintain importance in the achievement of happiness when rightfully undertaken. Beezart (49) discusses a very important aspect of rightful involvement with others that leads to happiness. He argues that response to external realities is the key to humanity and achievement of happiness and fulfillment. However, he observes that happiness cannot be solely achieved through always putting others first and ourselves last. However, important external relationships are to us, deferring our hopes, ambitions and dreams for the fulfillment of those of others may instead be counteractive to happiness. For instance, women have been historically expected to shelve their ambitions and desires for those of their spouses and children. Such cases result to harm to the individual which then spreads to the individuals around them. Hence, this is counteractive to achievement of happiness both externally and internally. The author, thus, argues that it is important to balance our actions between what is good for us and those around us in a bid to find happiness. At times, our interests and those of others may be in conflict while in other times they may be compatible. A balance in our relationship with others is of utmost importance in the pursuit of happiness as external relationships, as well as our internal environments play a crucial role in the issue. Beezart’s views are in agreement with the Gulla’s and Bernard’s discussion on the importance of relationships with those around us in achievement of happiness. However, the importance of striking a balance between our relationships and others is vital in pursuit of happiness. Conclusion Happiness is an important aspect of human life, as can be seen in human preoccupation with it and the studies undertaken. The importance of human interrelationships in the achievement of love can be studied in terms of how love, respect and care for others influences self happiness. It is established that loving, respecting and caring for those around us stimulates an environment of happiness. The historical and contemporary lack of happiness in the world as seen through human strife and suffering is a result of lack of love and respect for others on religious, social, racial, economic and political bases. The level to which love for others is a prerequisite for happiness is, however, a point of disagreement between the two pieces of literature reviewed. However, additional sources and critical analysis reveal that love, respect and care for others in a balanced manner is of high importance to attainment of happiness. In conclusion, the view supporting love, care and respect for others as being of utmost importance for us to be happy is upheld. Works Cited Beezart, Robert. Knowing and Loving: The Keys to Real Happiness. Dog Ear Publishing: USA, 2010. Print. Bernard, Michael. Rationality and the Pursuit of Happiness: The Legacy of Albert Ellis. Blackwell: USA, 2011. Print. Gulla, Ashok. In Search of Happiness: Through Love, Positive Attitudes, Good Relationships and Spirituality. Author House Publishing: USA, 2010. Print. Kenny, Charles and Kenny, Anthony. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Utility: Happiness in Philosophical and Economic Thought. Imprint Academic: New York, 2006. Print. Print.Kipfer, Barbara. Finding Happiness in its Natural Habitat. GPP:USA, 2008. Print. Sihvola, Juha. Happiness in Ancient Philosophy. Studies across Disciplines in the Humanities and Social Sciences. 3(2008): 12-22. Read More