Change Stages and Strategies in Popular Culture - Essay Example

Change Stages and Strategies in Popular Culture That most people do not like change is a fact of life that has been well documented, as Bridges points out in his book, Managing Transition: Making the Most of Change. This may be especially true when it comes to interpersonal relationships, where so many emotions involved. When one partner decides to end the relationship, it can be especially difficult for the rejected lover to let go and move on. Change cannot occur unless a transition takes place, and "psychological transition depends on letting go of the old reality and the old identity you had before the change took place" (Bridge 4).

In the case of the jilted lover, he/she must give up his/her identity as one half of a romantic relationship, and must resume his/her identity as an individual. Sheryl Crow's song "My Favorite Mistake" presents the case of a woman who knows that her relationship with her lover is at an ending point. She tells her lover, "I woke up and called this morning. The tone of your voice was a warning that you don't care for me anymore" (Crow). She goes on to say how all of this man's friends know about his "secret lover," and they pity her for holding on the way she is (Crow).

She even admits that she knows she is wrong for staying in a relationship with a man who doesn't love her. She calls him her "favorite mistake," but she concludes that she will continue to stay with him because "maybe nothin' lasts forever, even when you stay together. I don't need forever after. It's your laughter won't let me go, so I'm holding on this way" (Crow). The woman in this song is stubbornly holding on to a relationship that she knows is bad for her, and possibly even bad for her lover; however, she is not willing to accept the end of their relationship.

She knows that she should let go, and she should go on with her life and let her lover go on with his so that he won't have to try to pretend he adores her, but she is hesitant to make that first step. She says it is because the good memories she has of him and their relationship together hold her to him, but there may be more to it than that. This woman is probably afraid of the neutral stage Bridges discusses - that "no-man's-land between the old reality and the new" (5). This is understandable given the fact that during the neutral stage, it can be difficult to understand who you are, and even to grasp the reality of the situation (5).

This is where old habits are "no longer adaptive to the situation," and new behaviors must be formed (6). In some cases, sadly, it is easier to pretend that nothing has changed than it is to accept the fact that nothing is ever going to be the same. Change is a natural part of life, and even the woman in the song realizes that most things are impermanent, but she is psychologically unable to accept that and look forward to a new beginning. New beginnings can be wonderful things, but they can be especially frightening if an individual is having trouble transitioning into the neutral stage.

The neutral stage must be passed through before a new beginning can be made. The jilted lover in Sheryl Crow's song is not at all ready for the neutral stage because she is afraid of admitting the failure of the relationship, and she doesn't want to be alone. She is having trouble realizing that she is already emotionally alone. The song leaves us with very little hope for this woman ever reaching a new beginning, since she seems painfully stuck in the past with her plaintive cries at the end of the song, "Did you know, could you tell, you were the only one that I ever loved Now everything's so wrong" (Crow).

Everything will continue to feel wrong until she can accept the reality of the situation and let go. Works CitedBridges, William. Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change. Reading, MA: Perseus Books, 1991.Crow, Sheryl. "My Favorite Mistake." The Very Best of Sheryl Crow. CD. A&M, 2003. "My Favorite Mistake"I woke up and called this morningThe tone of your voice was a warningThat you don't care for me anymoreI made up the bed we sleep inI looked at the clock when you creep inIt's 6 a.m.

and I'm alone[Chorus:]Did you know when you goIt's the perfect endingTo the bad day I was just beginningWhen you go all I know isYou're my favorite mistakeYour friends are sorry for meThey watch you pretend to adore meBut I'm no fool to this gameNow here comes your secret loverShe'd be unlike any otherUntil your guilt goes up in flames[Chorus]You're my favorite mistakeWell maybe nothin' lasts foreverEven when you stay togetherI don't need forever afterIt's your laughter won't let me goSo I'm holding on this wayDid you know, could you tellYou were the only one That I ever lovedNow everything's so wrongDid you see me walking byDid it ever make you cryYou're my favorite mistakeYou're my favorite mistakeYou're my favorite mistake