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I could see that there was some imbalance between the kinds of behavior I expected and the kinds I received. But I could rectify this imbalance considerably through my efforts to prove myself before the other members and also sometimes by demanding what I felt, I deserved. I could prove to them that I was seriously passionate about music and that I have serious knowledge and skill in the subject as well.
All the same, I could feel that the group and its members were evaluating me as well in the same way. I could feel they concluded their evaluation on a positive note and thus I also became an accepted and trusted member of the band. It was out of this whole experience that I became closely emotionally attached to the group. I also felt that by remaining in this group, I could gain personally in the future also. Thus I became committed to this group. I was the only keyboard player in this group and thus I could contribute to our dream to become a winner in the prestigious national-level competition.
The other members always acknowledged my role in the successes that we made as a group and I also encouraged others in the same way. But all of this had to change someday. I started to feel that the other members were brewing up a conspiracy against me. Initially, they started to criticize my improvisations in live performances. They accused I was trying to perform above the group. But I felt I was not being allowed to develop my creativity to its full extent inside the group. I tried to convince the other members of the band that my improvisations were not destroying the charm of our performances and on the other hand, were adding a new flavor to them. I was convinced about this from whatever feedback I got from the audience. But they did not agree with me. I started to regret leaving the old music band with which I worked earlier. I could see that though it had not the popularity of this group, it allowed space for all kinds of creative experimentation. I also started to feel that there was not enough reward for my hard work in this group.
Finally, the moment of separation came. At a party that we threw in celebration of our latest success in the district level competition, a member of the music band and a previous close friend of mine started to make fun of me by mimicking the way I perform on stage, my mannerisms and all. Initially, I took it as a harmless joke, but then suddenly I came to realize that they were vengefully hurting me. Without a word, I walked out of the party and also out of the music band. It was as if the stage was managed by the exit. It was a complete “role transition” for me (Moreland and Levine, 1982, p.151).
I had to start it all over again from the scratch. But soon I recovered from the shock of separation and became quite successful as a keyboardist with another very popular music band. Some of the members of the old band used to give me friendly calls, which I reciprocated for a while, but of late, after I changed my mobile number, I lost track. But I have to acknowledge that it was being a part of this music band that made me a self-confident professional in music. And I can also proudly claim that it was my entry into this band that allowed it to develop a distinct style of its own. In this way, the group had a formative influence on me and I also changed the way the group performed.