Implicit Theories of Relationships - Essay Example

The theory deals with the idea that successful relationships must be grown and developed. Through various surveys, including those done in past experiments, Knee reveals that the most successful relationships come from those where the belief of destiny is present. Belief in destiny also includes believing that there is only one person for everyone and that love can be at first sight. When individuals act on this, they are doing so out of intuition, or destiny.

            Numerous surveys were implemented that measured destiny and growth beliefs. These surveys looked into aspects that varied from dating behavior to whether or not a person can change themselves or their relationship. Another important characteristic that was measured was how individuals coped with stressful events in the relationship. The surveys were used to measure beliefs in both destiny and growth. After the results had been gathered and analyzed, it was determined that more successful relationships come from beliefs of destiny because these individuals believe that they have no control over the course of the relationship. They do not try to make a relationship work, which can cause further stress. By accepting destiny and by letting the relationship progress as it should, more individuals found themselves in more successful situations with their significant others.

            Some people find the concept of love, at first sight, to be impulsive. They meet someone, believe that they are meant to be, and immediately jump into a relationship. While this may seem impulsive to others, the belief in destiny also provides similar feelings when a relationship will not work out. Someone who acts based on destiny will also deny people that they feel they may not be compatible. Similarly, if something in the relationship goes awry or they begin to feel that it is not going to work out, they terminate the relationship. These individuals do not allow themselves to remain in relationships that they know will not work out.

            It may come as a surprise to some people that destiny-driven relationships are more successful than growth-driven relationships. People in growth-driven relationships allow for time to see if the relationship will be successful or not. However, unlike destiny-based relationships, those that believe that growth is the key factor will also stay in bad relationships longer with the hopes that they will improve over time. The longer someone stays in a relationship such as this, the more damage will be done. Individuals that believe in and abide by the rules of destiny are quicker to accept when a relationship does not work and move on.