How to Be in Agreement with Parents - Essay Example

1 LETTER FORMAT Dear Mrs. Caprise, My is Waverly Jong. I am currently eleven years old. I understand that you are an advisor and I was hoping that you might be able to help me. I am writing to ask your advice because my mother has begun acting completely ridiculous towards me. While for most of my life my mother and I have gotten along, in the last couple years things have continued to become progressively worse and I think it is because she doesn’t understand the American way of life. My mother is originally from China and is still very much Chinese. She refuses to watch American television, she only cooks traditional Chinese meals, and gets upset when my brothers and I play new music in the house. I respect China and my Chinese heritage, but I also enjoy the friends I have made in San Francisco and I don’t understand why my mother has to continually to question why I hang out with them, and why I listen to the music I do, and complain about the clothes I want to wear? Lately, she has also been acting completely ridiculous for other reasons. Since I was nine years old I have been practicing chess and competing in competitive tournaments. Recently, I won an extremely large and important tournament in California and since then I have gotten a lot of attention from news people and even got my picture in Time magazine next to Bobby Fisher. My mother was very supportive at first, but now she has become completely crazy about the whole thing. She treats me different from my brothers, which was fine at first, but now she pressures me to do so much more than they do. Plus, she is constantly telling me how I do things wrong, like losing too many pieces in a match and she is always telling me that I need to act differently when at tournaments and when I talk to news people who ask me about chess. It’s almost like I feel that she feels like she is me and deserves all the credit for the chess tournament. What really upsets me though is that whenever we go anywhere together or people from the neighborhood come over, she is always making me feel weird. That is bad enough, but last Saturday we went to the market and EVERY person we she had to tell them that I was their daughter and that I won the chess tournament when nobody actually cared. It made me feel so awkward and when I tried to tell her about it she freaked out and threw her stuff to the ground and made a huge scene about everything. She made me so scared that I had to run away because I was scared she was going to hit me. I ended up walking around Chinatown until it got dark and I had nowhere to go. I finally went home but since then she has been extremely mean and crazy towards me. I don’t know what to and I’m thinking about running away again is she keeps acting crazy. I was hoping you could give me advice on how to deal with her. I hope to hear from you soon. Sincerely, Waverly Jong. #2 ESSAY FORMAT Dear Waverly, I’m glad you contacted me and I would be glad to help you. I hope that you have gotten my letter in time and have not yet run away from home. I understand what it is like to not always be in agreement with your mother, as my mother and fought many times when I was your age. Now I am a mother myself and can understand how sometimes even though we love each other, we can still have a difficult time understanding each other. I have read your letter in detail and considered it greatly and I hope you will consider my advice on your three problems. I understand that it must be a challenge having parents who weren’t born in the current country you’re living in. The United States can sometimes appear a very complicated and difficult place and when you don’t completely understand the culture and customs of a place you have to be careful that you are always making the safe and right decision for your family. From what I understand your mother sounds extremely concerned with your well-being. I think her concern with your friends and music and clothing might not be entirely related to her being Chinese. As parents, we oftentimes feel like we have to try and shield our children from things we fear might hurt them. I think it would be best if you tried to share your interests with your mother. Making a little effort in a relationship can go a long way, and if you told her about the new things you are discovering, she would be open to listening and might actually learn to appreciate them. As far as treating you differently from your brothers. I can understand how that might ultimately bother you. We all want to be treated equally and when we feel like there is undue pressure on us, it can be very stressful. I believe your mother feels that because of your talent you need to make the most of your opportunities. I truly feel that if your mother didn’t feel you were capable of these things, then she wouldn’t encourage you in them. While as parents we love our children equally, we want to see them all live up to their full potential. While it might seem like she is treating you different, it’s important to understand that she is motivated by a deep concern for your success. When I read about your mother telling everyone about your chess accomplishments it made me think of my own daughter and how as parents it’s sometimes possible that we become so enamored and proud of our children’s success that we forget to consider their feelings. Coming from another country and establishing yourself in the United States is an incredible challenge for your mother and your family. The incredible amount of success you have achieved since moving here is a great testament to your family. For this reason I believe your mother might have difficulty realizing that when she gushes about you with people, she might be sharing a little more information than you would prefer. I think it’s important to express your feelings to your mother, but also remember that she cares deeply about you and in the end is acting out of pride for your accomplishments. You don’t want her to misunderstand you and think that you don’t appreciate her, or are embarrassed of being with her, because I know you’re not. I hope my advice has been of help to you and I want you to know that you can write me anytime and I will respond as quick as possible. It’s important to keep in mind that all families have these problems and it’s our responsibility to work through them. Waverly, you sound like a very thoughtful and intelligent girl and I know you and your mother are capable of working through these difficulties – think about it likes it’s a tough chess match, except there’s no winners, just happiness and love! Best Wishes, Samantha Caprise Read More