Interpersonal Communication as portrayed in My Name is Khan - Term Paper Example

Interpersonal Communication as portrayed in ‘My is Khan’ Introduction To understand the meaning of interpersonal communication, it is necessaryto comprehend the essence of interpersonal communication which specifically means interaction between two or more persons. Interpersonal communication is part of our daily lives and being a social animal, human beings are always one way or the other interacting with others. Such communication may not always be verbal but it also implies an understanding of the other’s behavior and attitude. Interpersonal communication does not always means there is personal involvement and it is not only exchange of words, but it is also the way we interpret what others are trying to tell us either with words or with their body language. The English literary critic I.A. Richards has defined communication as a vital aspect of human kind, “Communication takes place when one mind so acts upon its environment that another mind is influenced, and in that other mind an experience occurs which is like the experience in the first mind, and is caused in part by that experience” (Ramaraju, 2012, p.70). This means when two people are in communication, then what one person thinks or feels is to a large extent influenced by what the other person is thinking and feeling. Similarly, a person’s individuality or personality is also defined by the perception of others, “an individual’s personality is a product of their perceptions of others and others’ perceptions of the individual as manifested in the interactive and interdependent exchange of behaviors between them” (Palmer & Barnett, 1998, p.x). Therefore, mutual interaction is a necessary element for the formation of both relationships between people and individuality of a person. Communication apprehension can lead to shyness Communication defines a person and his or her relationship with the other person. For instance, a formal communication between two people implies that they have a professional relationship while informal communication which includes any random topic indicates that they have a close personal relationship. In most types of communication, people do not give a second thought and there is always a feeling of content by the way people communicate with one another. A national poll conducted by the National Communication Association reported that almost 66 percent of the American people feel at ease when communicating with others. It has also been observed that people belonging to older age group like 55 and above are more inclined to make any kind of communication than any other age group. Also, women rather than men are more skilled at pursuing communication. Such comfort level is related to making informal communication with personal relations like family and friends (West & Turner, 2010, p.4). However, every individual does not feel comfortable making communication. Such phenomenon is termed as communication apprehension which is defined as “an individual’s level of fear or anxiety associated with either real or anticipated communication with another person or persons” (Cole & McCroskey, 2003, p.102). In general, there are three kinds of manifestations that generate from fear of communication like a person may avoid making any kind of communication, or he may withdraw himself from participating in any social events or there may be various disruptions in his communication. All such traits are apparent for outsiders from the person’s behavior like tendency to talk less or interjecting vocalized pauses like “uh” or “you know”. Hence, communication apprehension can lead to shyness that can be easily noticed by others. According to Chesebro and McCroskey (2002, p.21), shyness is “actual frequency of a person’s talking. It represents a behavioral pattern and not necessarily a person’s preferences toward communication or a person’s anxiety about communication”. Shyness can be anything from a genetic composition to a person’s reluctance to make any kind of communication. The matter of concern here is that shyness is pattern of behavior that can be observed and identified by others although reasons behind such behavior may not be ascertained. Interpersonal communication can be verbal or non-verbal Interpersonal communication can take place both between two individuals and also in a group setting. It also indicates the ability to deal with different people in different circumstances without making anyone feel ill at ease. Body language like eye contact, volume of voice including silence, touching the other person like shaking hand or putting hand on the other person’s shoulder are also part of interpersonal communication and each of these is a mode of communicating what a person is feeling or thinking. The most common elements of interpersonal communication are talking, listening and conflict resolution. Interpersonal communication can be verbal or non-verbal depending on the situation. In essence, interpersonal communication means interaction between people in the manner that is appropriate to the situation and fulfills the required objective (Ramaraju, 2012, p.70). The concept of interpersonal communication is entwined in our everyday life. Being a social animal, we are inclined to live in communities and build relationships around us. Every day the relationships we form have specific behavioral manifestations, i.e. we do not maintain same kind of behavior or attitude with all people like we are obedient to our parents, jovial with our friends and so on, “whenever two people meet and interact, it is the interdependent exchange of verbal and nonverbal messages that constitute the behavioral manifestation of the relationship” (Palmer & Barnett, 1998, p.x). Self-disclosure in interpersonal communication One important feature of interpersonal communication is sharing of information or self-disclosure. Sharing of information not only helps to strengthen relationships between two or more persons but also helps people to comprehend the needs of others and accordingly respond to such needs. Level of sharing is dependent on the environment in which the communication is taking place. While in a doctor’s clinic the patient will voluntarily and eagerly share personal information like physical and psychological problems with the doctor in order to get appropriate treatment, in cases where two strangers are communicating people may find it embarrassing to share any kind of personal information. There are other factors that determine the level of self-disclosure like discloser’s state of mind and recipient’s age, gender and status. When a person is in a happy mood he tends to disclose more information than when he is angry or upset. Likewise, a person feels more comfortable in sharing personal information when the recipient is a woman or with close friends, siblings and with those who are of same age and status (Okken et al., 2012, p.738). Relational dialectical theory of communication In every relationship there exist constraints in the field of communication. Although communication is the most important factor for constructing and sustaining a relationship, it is nevertheless a common phenomenon that one may not be capable of making effective communication. The relational dialectical theory of communication explains the opposite forces that play in the minds of person. For instance, on one day a person may feel the need to spend time with self and avoid company of others while on other days he or she may feel the need of sharing feelings with someone and spend time with that person. Dialectical theory explores “how relationships develop from the interplay of perceived opposite forces or contradictions and how communicators negotiate these ever-changing processes” (Lusk, 2008, p.4). The formula of a successful relationship depends on how well the involved parties can manage to deal with oppositional demands. In other words, a relationship can be strong when each party accepts that all individuals involved form oneness concept (Baxter & Montgomery, 1996, p.6) Stages of relational development Relational development occurs through a range of filters which is often viewed as stages. There is actually a complex relational developmental theory that passes through three steps which are relevant both for friendship and romantic relationships. In the first stage, people tend to look for ‘availables’ which means those with whom there is possibility to form any kind of relationship. Such possibilities are decided by engaging in standard communication. In the second stage, within the framework of availables, people seek who are ‘approachable’ which means those who exhibit interest in entering into any kind of relationship. This stage requires a set of ‘entry rules’. In the third stage, within the framework of approachable, exist those who are ‘reciprocals’ which mean those who respond to the person’s attempt to embark on a relationship. This final stage requires a certain level of intimacy. After a relationship has succeeded in passing through all the three stages, it then moves through four relational developments. In case of friendship, the levels are “acquaintance, casual friend, good friend, and best friend”. In case of a romantic relationship, the levels are “casual date, steady date, fiance, and spouse” (Nicotera, 1993, p.7). ‘My Name is Khan’ is an Indian movie released in the year 2010, and this paper explores how interpersonal communication has been presented in the movie. In the movie, the protagonist Rizwan Khan suffers from Asperger’s syndrome which differentiates his communication skills, cognitive skills and body language from other so called normal people in the society. The story revolves around Rizwan and his connection with the world around him which somersaults after the 9/11 event. His wife Mandira who is a Hindu has to confront the harsh realities of the racially divided world. In the initial reels of the movie, Rizwan’s interpersonal relationship with his mother is depicted. In spite of being the “less intelligent” one than his younger brother, he grew up in a loving and protected environment provided by his mother. Only after his mother’s death he was left to face the world alone as he comes to America being sponsored for citizenship by his brother who is a successful businessman. The movie is presented from Rizwan’s perspective; how he studies other people and fights against the disadvantages of his condition to win the trust of other people. Likewise he crosses the hurdles of his disability to fulfill his aspirations in life. Rizwan’s communication skills or his ability to express his feelings belong to a different plane from others resulting in apathy, misunderstanding or sympathy from others. Then he meets Mandira who is a young Indian woman divorced from her husband working at a hair salon. The rare display of warmth and affection from Mandira translated their relationship into a rare kind of friendship rooted deeply in love for each other. Rizwaan’s interaction with people is reflected in his strong belief inculcated in him by his mother: there are only two kinds of people in this world – the good people who do good deeds and bad people who do bad deeds. This simple yet profound philosophy defines his perspective of humanity which forms the basis of this movie (My Name is Khan, 2010). There are many instances in this movie that depict the “other worldly” characteristics of Rizwan considering his condition. I have already mentioned interpersonal relationship is depiction of mutual relationship that is dependent on circumstances. Thus in this movie, most viewers were taken aback by the sudden outburst of Mandira targeting her venomous attitude towards Rizwan when her son was killed as an affect of racism. The brutality of it is expressed by the fact that Mandira has always been passionate and protective towards Rizwan showing a kind of understanding that Rizwan has last experienced in his mother. Rizwan who himself was groping for reason behind the suddenness of his stepson’s death, was hurt and confused when Mandira blamed him for this. To Rizwan it was unfathomable since his innocence did not allow him to see that it is not he but his religion that is responsible. Rizwan’s many characteristics related to his condition are depicted in his various interactions with the other characters of the movie. Rizwan is able to communicate his thoughts clearly which signifies his lack of consciousness of society’s perspective of him. This indicates the absence of communication apprehension in the character. Since it stems from reluctance to talk or consciousness regarding self appraisal both of which does not exist in Rizwan, he is always boldly expressing whatever comes to his mind. However, he has to practice what he will have to say when he is selling beauty products. He carries a monotonic voice while speaking with no change of facial expressions. In interpersonal communication we interpret the body movements of other people to understand the concurring dialogues, and so because of Rizwan’s lack of physical expressions people tend to misunderstand him. Rizwan’s apparent failure to understand people’s feelings makes him an outcast in the eyes of many. He sticks to his own belief about rights and wrongs and so does not pay attention when his brother rebukes him for marrying a Hindu woman. Likewise he takes what other people say in the literal sense not having the capacity to read between the lines. Thus when Mandira challenges him to meet the US President and say “My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist”, he takes it upon himself to embark on a journey that will actually culminate him in saying the same thing to the President. Rizwan and Mandira’s relationship did not experience the general journey from casual dating to marriage. For Rizwan, it was love at first sight or rather he fell in love with her voice even before he met her. Taking the decision to marry her was his next decision since his innocence hinders him from realizing that any lifelong decisions need to be made after several considerations. Thus his disease although does not make him handicap because of his strength and determination, nevertheless makes him class apart from the “normal” people of the world. Rizwan’s intercommunication skills or interpretation of gestures are shaped by his Asperger’s syndrome like he fails to understand ambiguity of words. For instance, he keeps on pestering Mandira to cut his hair even when the salon is crowded and she is busy attending other clients. Mandira says, “I am dying to cut your hair.” He replies, “Don’t die, I just want you to cut my hair.” He does not understand that Mandira is actually telling him to wait his turn and calms down only after she complies with his request. However, he gradually realizes that he is wrong. One major facet of Rizwan’s character is his ability of self-disclosure. Unlike the general perception that self-disclosure depends on several factors like the environment or the age and gender of the listener, Rizwan is open and candid with people of all ages and gender. He is equally comfortable making communication with Mandira and her young son Sameer. Conclusion This movie although is a mainstream movie gives a fascinating portrayal of different facets of human emotions and interpersonal communication. One thing to be understood here is that interpersonal communication reflects mutual needs of the parties concerned. Rizwan’s first encounter with relationship was his mother who showered him with love and closeness, and this became the definition of interrelationship for Rizwan for the rest of his life. He was fine till Mandira conveyed same kind of affection, but was shaken when she displayed raw hatred after her son’s death. Thereafter he became determined to return only after fulfilling his promise of meeting the President which indicates that Rizwan believes that only by doing this he can make Mandira love him again. Again it portrays how the world is black or white for him and there are no grey characters. References Baxter, L.A. & Montgomery, B.M. (1996). Relating: Dialogues and Dialectics. N.Y.: Guilford Press Cole, J.G. & McCroskey, J.C. (2003). The association of perceived communication apprehension, shyness, and verbal aggression with perceptions of source credibility and affect in organizational and interpersonal contexts. Communication Quarterly, 51(1), 101-110 Chesebro, J.L. & McCroskey, J.C. (2002). Communication for Teachers. Allyn and Bacon Lusk, H.M. (2008). A Study of Dialectical Theory and its Relation to Interpersonal Relationships. Honors Thesis Projects, Univ. of Tennessee, Knoxville, from: http://trace.tennessee.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2206&context=utk_chanhonoproj My Name is Khan (2010). Directed by Karan Johar Nicotera, A.M. (1993). Interpersonal communication in friend and mate relationship. N.Y.: SUNY Press Okken, V., Rompay, T. & Pruyn, A. (2012). Room to move: On spatial constraints and self-disclosure during intimate conversations. Environment and Behavior, 45(6), 737-760 Palmer, M.T. & Barnett, G.A. (1998). Mutual Influence in Interpersonal Communication. Ablex Publishing Ramaraju, S. (2012). Psychological Perspectives on Interpersonal Communication. Journal of Arts, Science and Commerce, 3(4), 68-73 West, R. & Turner, L. (2010). Understanding Interpersonal Communication: Making Choices in Changing Times. Cengage Learning Read More