The Culture of Marriage - Essay Example

Section/# Evolution of Marriage, Family, and Relationships: A Discussion the United Kingdom with a Final Comparison to the United Arab Emirates The past several decades have noted a dramatic change with respect to the composition of the family, the definition of marriage, and the way in which relationships are formed. Groucho Marx once quipped “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Marriage has been a socially recognized union between individuals of the opposite sex that commit to one another with the expectations of a stable, lasting intimate relationship. A marital relationship usually involves some kind of contract, either written or specified by tradition, which defines the partners’ rights and obligations to each other, to any children they may have, and to their relatives. There are many benefits to being a part of this great institution, and a revamping of the marriage law could be an asset in the improvement of our culture, economy and health. Whereas it can be argued that many aspects of society are required to evolve and grow with the times, the rate and extent to which marriage is able to do this is of the utmost importance as it is one of the most basic traditions and helps to establish one of the most fundamental aspects of modern society. As a function of seeking to understanding and define this institution in the light of the current era, with regards to how much or how little the institution of marriage has been able to evolve with the times, it will be the hope of this author that such an analysis will be capable of presenting a functioning and well argued piece of research into this topic so that the reader might come to a more informed understanding of societal evolution and growth with regards to this most fundamental of traditional societal demarcations. As with many traditions and cultural understandings, there can be no denying that the culture of marriage has changed. The cozy imagery of the perfect marriage, as exhibited by the now-comical television shows of the early 1960s and late 1950s have long since faded from memory (Dommaraju, 2009). Fairy tales with stories of love- ever- after were, and to a large part still are, what children are raised on. Within the not so distant past, little girls dreamed of the knight in shining armor, or being brought back to life by a simple kiss from a Prince. When the movie, “Love Story”, first appeared society was still extremely absorbed in a marriage culture that encouraged and supported getting and staying married until the end of one’s days (Fortunato & Archetti, 2010). Within a few years, the womens movement, the pill, the sexual revolution, and various economic shifts had permanently transformed that marriage-centric society. Formerly, a marriage contract gave the man ownership over the wife with a right to sex. This traditional and chauvinist approach to marriage can largely be understood to be derived from religious traditions. Whether one ascribes to any of the major world religions, each and every one of them places the wife in a form of subjugation to the husband and even likens her in some instances to property to be owned, beaten, or managed as the husband (owner) might feel appropriate. In such a way, it can be somewhat clear why traditional definitions of marriage have changed so little over the past several centuries; partly due to the fact that religion has had a powerful role in defining a certain type of normative behavior for entire societies. More specifically, this original and traditional interpretation of marriage was one that was entirely concentric upon the childbearing process. As such, sex was deemed as an expectation for marriage and should be held in utter contempt if engaged in outside of marriage. Moreover, within the traditional interpretation of marriage, practiced throughout so many of these past centuries, without consummation a marriage may be terminated (Antrup, 2013). Yet a fundamental shift to this traditional interpretation was born within what scholars have referred to as the “modern” era. Beginning with the Age of Enlightenment, individuals began to throw off the bounds of heightened forms of religiosity. From this Age of Enlightenment, fundamental questions with regards to the origin of man, the role that the sciences could play in ameliorating hardship and needs formerly attributed to “sin”, and a great emphasis upon the so called “rights of mankind” were exhibited. Although it would take many subsequent generations for this Age of Enlightenment to reach the women of society, it started a chain reaction of human thought that would ultimately drive a re-interpretation and many of the tacitly held “fundamentals” of modern day society. Within the past several decades, powerful changes with regards to a woman’s biological function have also helped to redefine marriage. The legalization of contraceptives and abortion gave women rights to their bodies and took it out of their husband’s control. This in turn allowed women to have a degree of say so with regards to whether or not they would be confined to take care of children or whether they would engage in the workforce in seeking to become equal wage-earners with their husbands (Fortunato, 2010). Cultural changes of British matrimony are also pronounced in the equalizing, not only respective rights, but also the duties of wives and husbands. The legal contract was once made to have men provide for women. With more women in the work force, and dual incomes, that responsibility no longer lies on one party. Child rearing is no longer the wife’s duties but a joint venture (Testart, 2012). By the very same token, it can be understood that society has traditionally expected women to keep the home and take care of the children. However, even a cursory review of the current situation within the Britain exhibits a high number of stay at home dads, combined with a much higher number of working mothers that rely on such institutions as child care to provide for the needs of their children (Lukas & Clutton-Brock, 2013). More often than not, household duties and financial responsibilities are taken on mutually; between both husband and wife. Child rearing is no longer just the wife’s duty but now a joint venture; if not delegated to a third part – as mentioned above. The previous interpretation of the gender differences assigned in marriage were to provide structural support; mostly with the male dominating over the woman. When women, participating in larger historical trends toward greater equality, began to tire of their traditional roles and change them, both sides of the relationship were displaced and sought out a new equilibrium (Archetti, 2013). The patterns of family life which many Britishs look back upon with nostalgia, people marrying soon out of high school or the stay at home mom, now seem both unrealistic and idyllic. Gone are the days when a parent, fresh from school, can support a family alone. Many women do not want to be put into situations where they have responsibilities that completely undermine their careers and abilities. According to psychotherapist June Lawton, “Cinderella is a victim - but only because she is playing the role of the victim”. Cinderella has become an example of what not to become. For social conservatives, these shifts in roles have compromised the very foundation of marriage. One might beg the question of what foundations they are speaking of - the one where women were dependent on men, the one where women were property, the one where women were meant to procreate, the one where cohabitating was a mortal sin, and do they mean loving a person of the same sex does not procreate, so therefore it is wrong. Perhaps these individuals are instead focused upon determining when such idyllic terms such as “love”, “honor”, and “loyalty” were lost. However, for most individuals within current society, divorce is no longer seen as a great taboo. In short, change is inevitable and as such, cultural tolerance should be held as a virtue. It remains true that people look for romantic and intimate bonds in marriage, however couples today have more reasonable expectations. This change in expectation is yet another evidence of the means by which the institution of marriage has evolved and morphed over the years. For instance, dual careers tend to force difficult decisions about the growing roles of the two partners. Our society is full of economic benefits for people who are married. These benefits are not available to non-married couples. With marriage laws extended to protect cohabitants and same sex marriages, the economy would be stimulated by more disposable income in the hands of more stakeholders (Bittles & Black, 2010). As such, this is ultimately the theory of the trickle-down effect. Social conservatives blame divorce, cohabitation, illegitimacy, and the demise of the traditional family for societys ills; from poverty, crime, and juvenile delinquency, to the moral decay and destruction of the British way of life. Yet, they seem unwilling to realize that opening up this rather archaic institution to the realities of our time can greatly benefit a great number of societal stakeholders. Finally, in seeking to compare the overall level of change that is taking place with respect to family, marriage, and relationships within the United Kingdom as compared to marriage, family, and relationships that is taking place within the same corresponding period of time within the United Arab Emirates, it can be definitively noted that the conservative values, strict religious adherents, and norms of behavior have been more slow to change within the United Arab Emirates as compared to the United Kingdom. One of the fundamental reasons behind this has to do with the fact that the power of Islam has Liberal and progressive change somewhat constrained. In many ways, the overall level of women’s rights that exists within the United Arab Emirates is somewhat less as compared to the United Kingdom. However, in retrospect, this level of differential may actually be positive; due to the fact that family structures can to survive the threat of breakdown that is so commonplace within the United Kingdom and other Western cultures of this particular point in time. The transformation of marriage uses and customs is a consequence of the history of man. It is not something static or invariable, but is in a constant process of development. Many people fail at marriage. “In the Britain, almost 50% of first marriages and more than 60% of second marriages end in divorce (Huber et al., 2011). Are the high rates due to longer life expectancy as social scientists maintain or due to higher expectations in a marriage. Certainly it is not due to people wanting heart-break. It is not uncommon for people to now have second and third marriages; wanting to be a part of the institution, the protection clauses - all still a part of the societal acceptance club. It is time to re-write the marriage law to fit the people’s needs resulting in the betterment of Britain. Given that British marriage is founded on mutual consent, which requires a context of freedom, equality, and, perhaps most important of all – choice, we may be on the verge of an British revamping of the term marriage. Bibliography Antrup, A 2013, Evolution of institutions and preferences: the case of the (human) mating market, Journal Of Theoretical Biology, 332, pp. 9-19, MEDLINE, EBSCOhost, viewed 14 March 2014. Archetti, M 2013, ‘Marriage by maximization of inclusive fitness, Journal Of Theoretical Biology, 319, pp. 134-143, MEDLINE, EBSCOhost, viewed 14 March 2014. Bittles, A, & Black, M 2010, Marriage and Society, Annual Review Of Anthropology, 39, 1, pp. 193-207, Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost, viewed 14 March 2014. Dommaraju, P 2009, Female Schooling and Marriage Change in India, Population (16342941), 64, 4, pp. 667-683, SocINDEX with Full Text, EBSCOhost, viewed 14 March 2014. Fortunato, L 2012, The evolution of matrilineal kinship organization, Proceedings. Biological Sciences / The Royal Society, 279, 1749, pp. 4939-4945, MEDLINE, EBSCOhost, viewed 14 March 2014. Fortunato, L, & Archetti, M 2010, Evolution of monogamous marriage, Journal Of Evolutionary Biology, 23, 1, pp. 149-156, Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost, viewed 14 March 2014. Huber, B, Danaher, W, & Breedlove, W 2011, New Cross-Cultural Perspectives on Marriage Transactions, Cross-Cultural Research, 45, 4, pp. 339-375, Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost, viewed 14 March 2014. Lukas, D, & Clutton-Brock, T 2013, The evolution of social monogamy in mammals, Science (New York, N.Y.), 341, 6145, pp. 526-530, MEDLINE, EBSCOhost, viewed 14 March 2014. Testart, A 2013, Reconstructing Social and Cultural Evolution The Case of Dowry in the Indo-European Area, Current Anthropology, 54, 1, pp. 23-50, SocINDEX with Full Text, EBSCOhost, viewed 14 March 2014. Read More