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Final Portfolio Assignment - Essay Example

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The child was crying to his father to buy him a toy car. The main idea in the paragraph is about the action of beating the child. The idea is domestic violence, which according to the essay…
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Final Portfolio Assignment Paragraph The introductory paragraph is a short story about a father who beat his crying child. The child was crying to his father to buy him a toy car. The main idea in the paragraph is about the action of beating the child. The idea is domestic violence, which according to the essay refers to any violent act met on a family member by another family member (Ahmmed, 2012). The introductory or first paragraph has a function of taking the attention of the reader. This is because, one would like to discover what happened after the father hitting the child and hurling threats at him. The paragraph has a fascinating link to the thesis of the essay in that the transition to the second paragraph answers the idea of the writer giving the short episode in paragraph one. The first paragraph follows the known-new contract well.
Paragraph 2
This is the paragraph carrying the thesis of the essay. It gives the relevance of the short story episode in paragraph one to the topic of the essay. I supported the idea by giving the various forms of violence in the domestic arena. The evidence to the idea lies in the mention of the practices of punishing kids as still in existence despite the civilized world. The writer then gives the analysis by telling the results of violence on children. This paragraph also links to the subsequent paragraphs, which entirely dwell on domestic violence on children and the effects.
Paragraph 3
This paragraph opens to the effects of domestic violence on children. The main idea is the psychological effect of domestic violence on children. The sentences have coherence in that they follow the known-new contract. The evidence for the main idea here is the fact that children affected by domestic violence find a difficulty in solving future conflicts and problems. I gave an analysis in this paragraph by giving violence effects on children. For example, the stored negative energy that affects the child’s personality and makes him or her isolated from the society. This paragraph links to the second paragraph by giving one of the effects of domestic violence on children.
Paragraph 4
This paragraph provides the second effect of domestic violence on children. According to this paragraph, the main idea, which is the second effect of the violence, is the effect on social existence and behavior. I gave evidence of the idea by mentioning that many statistics show the origin of unacceptable behavior is domestic violence. I gave an analysis of the idea by giving the various effects of violence on the relationship of the child and others either in the family or in the wide society (Ahmmed, 2012). The paragraph has coherence in that the sentences follow the known-new contract. In addition, I used pronouns such as ‘he’ to refer to the child. I also managed to use demonstrative adjectives such as ‘this’. All these add to the coherence of words in the essay. This paragraph has a link to the previous one by giving another effect of domestic violence on children.
Paragraph 5
This paragraph contains an argument against domestic violence. It has the main idea that it is wrong to use domestic violence with an aim of making children obey. I exhorted the reader by use of rhetorical questions in the paragraph. The evidence for the idea lies in the fact that other people still think that violence is a tool to behave children. The analysis of the main idea lies in the fact that many ways of punishing children and that talking to them works to behave them in life. The paragraph links well to the previous paragraphs in that it gives the reason why domestic violence ruins instead of building children morals. I maintained coherence by using demonstrative pronouns and ensuring that my sentences followed the known-new contract format.
Paragraph 6
The paragraph is a final exhortation to the reader. Its main idea is that the child belongs to the parent and that it is the parent’s responsibility to behave him or her. I emphasized communication and conversation as the working methods of behaving children. The evidence in the paragraph lies in the mention of international law prohibiting all forms of violence on children (Ahmmed, 2012). I gave an analysis through the mention of the new rule establishment to address violence against children. This paragraph links to the rest of the essay by giving a final plea on parents to stop violence on children and adopt non-violent measures.
Works Cited
Ahmmed alsherawi. Domestic Violence. Personal essay, 9 May, 2012.
May 9, 2012
New York City, New York, 10038
UNICEF, Headquarters
Dear Management of UNICEF:
He was a child of around four years old, crying and insisting on his father to buy that toy car for him. For few minutes the father ignored the crying child, but he couldn’t ignore him anymore when the child lied down on the floor and kept screaming. The angry father held the boy from his back and made him stand up. At that moment the child stopped crying and was looking at his father with frightened eyes as if he knew what the father would do! The father slapped the child on his face more than three times and kept on shouting and cursing the child. Then he pushed him back on the floor and left him there alone. I was very shocked, not only me, all of the shoppers at that corridor stopped and watched the violence practiced in public. I spent that night thinking and wondering if that young child would ever forget what happened.
Domestic violence is any violent act that is being practiced against a family member especially against children. When it comes to violence against children, it’s not only hitting them what we talk about. There are many other forms of violence such as hitting them with dangerous tools, locking them in dark places, or forcing them to do hard tasks. Although we live in a civilized society, all these forms are still used as punishments to kids when they don’t follow their parent’s orders or do something wrong! When violence is used against children, it results in damaging their lives because its implications will negatively affect their psychological state, social and behavioral existence, and in many cases their physical health.
The first aspect of the case is the psychological damage that children go through as a result of the use of violence against them. The psychological damage to children (like the one in the story above) makes him unable to resolve future problems and conflicts. He will always have problems dealing with any challenge he comes across in his life because definitely all this embarrassment will lead to a shy and weak personality. Not only that, it will create a psychological complex regarding his parents and will create a distance between him and them. This distance might make him have problems with his own children in the future. Moreover, all of the anger, frustration, and negative energy created from the use of violence against the child will always be stored inside. The stored energy will affect the child’s personality and make him isolated and a society hater. In addition, some forms of violence acts against children can create a certain phobia or psychological complex. For example, locking up the child in a dark room can create a Nyctophobia which is a sever fear of darkness.
The second aspect of violence against children is its effect on their social existence and behavior. The relationship between what goes on at home and the behavior of the kid is directly proportional. Using violence against the child will make him a violence user himself. He would hit other kids in school or older people like his teachers. Many statistics prove that the origin of bad behavior is domestic violence whether it’s used against the child himself or being practiced in front of him by his parents. Also, it will affect his relationships in the society with others. For example there will be a conflict when it comes to use of power. He might use every chance he has to use his power against people around him to hurt them. This act will be a relief or revenge of the frustration stored inside him. This problem can aggregate and results in committing dangerous crimes.
On the other hand, some people who think that hitting children can be used as a way to force the child to obey them out of fear. This is really wrong; do you really want your child to follow your orders out of fear? Are we living in a jungle? Of course not, we live in a civilized society where conversation plays a great role everywhere. Why don’t you teach your children this very effective tool by using it with him? By talking to him, you will convince him to obey you. So, he will follow your orders even in your absence. Other people think that violence is an effective way to behave children. Unfortunately, violence actually makes their behavior worse. It makes them aggressive and hatters. Violence is a risk; many kids were murdered by the hands of their parents in such anger moments. Do you really want to take the risk of killing your child by hitting him in a critical area of his body? There many modern ways to behave your children, you can punish them by taking away their favorite toy for a week for example. Believe me, it’s more effective.
All in all, it’s your child who we are talking about. It’s your responsibility to behave them, raise them, and let them be productive members of the society. It’s always about how you shape their psychological, social, and behavioral state. Always remember that by conversation and communication you can deal with them. The use of violence is prohibited in almost all countries no matter who is practicing it. Violence is prohibited in homes and even in schools. According to the international law, No one has a right to his a child. However, still there are millions of children who are being abused every day. That’s why there should be reformulation of new rules and laws in this regard. Strict punishments should be imposed against violence users. Also there should be institutes that protect all family members from being abused. This can be done by making the children aware through lectures in schools.
Ahmmed alsherawi
6300 E Hampden Ave
Denver, 8022
Main idea- marked red
Evidence- marked green
Analysis- marked blue
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