Deborah Tannens But What Do You Mean - Essay Example

10 October Response to “But What Do You Mean” by Deborah Tannens Although I agree that women are more polite in their manner and tone as compared to men both at the workplace and elsewhere, yet I disagree that this causes them any harm. In fact, women are privileged to have such a nature because it provides them with an edge over men. If Helen did not gain a substantial bonus, it might be a coincidence or her performance would actually not be measuring up to the standard of the evaluators irrespective of the general impression of her performance upon the coworkers.

Yes, women do apologize more often than men but if there is something that happens because of it, it only favors them!I agree with Tannen’s stance on criticism. Women’s softened criticism originates in their delicate nature. Tannen rightly attributes it to their emphasis upon feelings rather than ego. Women talk to others the way they would like themselves to be talked to. On the other hand, men are straight-forward. Being rough and tough, they expect others to be rough and tough as well.

They don’t realize when they are being too tough to the women because they are not women themselves. It’s just that they have never been able to feel how a woman feels when she is being talked to in a straight-forward and critical manner. I also agree to Tannen as she analyzes women’s feelings when they don’t get the same level of formality or politeness that they treat men with. I agree that quite often, women keep thanking others for “nothing”. Although a man might be trying to be gentle while responding to a woman manager’s thankyou with welcome, yet a woman may not understand that he was trying to play his part on the scale of politeness because his performance was just not up to the mark!

I agree that men are stronger at arguing than women because this is what they do all the time. Although women also keep arguing among their community in their little capacity, yet their capacity does not measure equal to that of men. One reason for this may be that men fight over more crucial matters than women and are more often held accountable for their acts than women, though I disagree that women are not taken seriously if they don’t argue enough. I agree that women are more generous and eager in giving feedback while men are more reluctant and critical.

What women take very seriously is an ordinary thing to men. Again, it’s the delicacy of women’s nature and the roughness of men’s that is playing a role here! The fact that men tend to bring solution to women for the problems they raise with the intention of coming on an equal footing as that of men also happens because being stronger, men feel obliged to make favors to women. I agree that men and women are attuned to different kinds of humor, though I believe that with the passage of time, more men are starting to understand wit from the feminist perspective and are thus, able to enjoy it the same way as women do.

Nowadays, men can be noticed making compliments about one another’s looks and things just the way women have been doing since the evolution of mankind on Earth. Perhaps, media has played a role in making this happen!