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Grandparents and grandchildren are expected to fill this role. The worst choice of local mediator would be anj-umba who has a bukangandu (cold, distant) relationship with both Anji and Ego. The anj-umba would likely sit and stare into space, having no eye contact with either Anji or Ego. Obviously, this strategy would not settle any disputes; and more tension would occur. The worst choice of mediator would be the Western marriage councilor. The Western therapist would have no idea what the issues were or how resolution works among the Ndake.
The Westerner would try to delve into root causes and common ground when the Ndake resolve the hurt feelings, not the topic of conflict. The Western African conflict resolution technique is intriguing. The core conflict is less important than the relationship resolution. This form of therapy actually mirrors the Golden Rule well; do you want others to forgive your transgressions, if so, then forgiving others now sets that precedent. Ethnic humor is disturbing when used to target a group for ridicule.
It is a common form of toxic humor. Some groups choose to joke about themselves as a form of therapy. The danger is separating those who laugh “with” and those who laugh “at”. Jewish humor serves to teach, explain and maintain dignity among the Jews. The Talmud Law teachings could be so complex, traditional Jewish humor used absurdity to define limits of these laws. Throughout history, Jews have been in the entertainment business disproportionately. Vaudeville acts would go to the Catskills and the Borscht Belt circuit.
Now television has a large Jewish entertainer population. Saul Bellow, famous Jewish author, claims the oppressed must be witty as a survival skill. (BrainyQuote.com) The Jewish humor is based on religious belief, of course, assimilation into society, self deprecation and wits. Laughing with your peer group helps understand the human comedy that is that group. From
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