The Communication Gap between Men and Women - Essay Example

The communication gap between men and women Introduction Men and women come across difficulties in communication.Their speaking strategies, ideas development and storage, methods of expressing their thoughts are quite different. A lot of studies are devoted to this problem. There is even a figurative idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. In the process of communication between different sexes there is a feeling that between two people there is an unseen wall which prevents one interlocutor from proper understanding of a message of another interlocutor. Thus communication between men and women leads to misunderstandings, arguments, anxieties etc. In order to overcome difficulties in communication, it is necessary to take into account a lot of factors, starting from basic gender differences and social roles of men and women. Both differences in verbal and non-verbal communication should be taken into account in order to bridge communication gap between men and women. There are three decisive points that determine communication gap between opposite sexes: the way of thinking, speaking and decision making are different. The process of thinking among men is divided into sections. They consider everything properly, step by step focusing on one detail after another. Women think globally, they consider the whole things in general; they have no sections in their thinking. Men’s way of thinking can be compared with files stored on the computer: thoughts and ideas about different events are stored separately. Men don’t mix up such sections as Work, Personal relations, Hobbies etc. Thus, when a wife asks his husband to buy something on his way from work to home and he buys nothing, it means that he was concerned about his section Work. Women in their thinking combine different thoughts from different periods of their lives; they look at events in their life globally. Women try to draw parallels between different events. On this basis a lot of arguments may occur between spouses: a wife can compare her husband’s behavior with the one shown by him months ago and he may get irritated. The things different to him are equal to her. Thus sectional and global ways of thinking are two different and unique ways of thinking. Another difference occurs in the way of speaking between men and women. Men speak about facts with no details or descriptions; they speak in short phrases. Women speak in paragraphs and more concerned about details, descriptions than about facts. Women enjoy telling a story; men enjoy when they talk about facts. Therefore if you want to reach success in communication with representatives of a representative of another sex, it is necessary to modify communication strategy with the approach used by representatives of opposite gender. Thus women should speak about facts at first and men should give more details while speaking. Therefore it is possible to overcome communicative difficulties between opposite sexes it is necessary to take into account well-known figures: express their ideas in more than twenty five thousands words every day and twelve thousands words are enough for men. Moreover, eye contact of women in the process of communication is twelve seconds and men’ eye contact is three seconds only. Therefore opposite genders should balance their word count and eye contact in order to reach a mutual understanding. Another weighty argument is women strategy of hint language. Men don’t usually get point of these ‘hints’. Therefore women can sophisticate communication gap by their ‘hints’. It is better to be direct and use the manner of man speaking, direct and exact. Communicative gap can be bridged not only on communicative level. It is necessary to take into account gender differences and gender roles. It is widely approved that men are resolvers and women are relaters. Men are focused on acting, decision making; they are focused on goals to be reached. Women are concerned about pleasing, feelings, emotions etc. Men are externally focused, women are internally focused. Outer world is more important for men, inner world is more important for women. These tendencies are reflected in communicative manner of men and women. Language for women is a means of relationships’ development. Language for men is the way to express their ideas. Consequently, men and women have different intentions and perspectives. Gender differences are evident from the childhood. Small boys having problems blame for them other people; small girls blame for problems themselves. Therefore external focus of men and internal focus of women is shown from the very childhood. Communication gap can negatively influence not only on personal relations between men and women, but also on workplace challenges. In comparison with previous decades, women’ higher job positions are connected with their changed behavioral and communicative strategies. Women have to fight with stereotypes judging their appearance and not knowledge. Women have to fight for credibility at workplace unlike men who are more trusted by business partners. There is a hidden ‘men power hierarchy’ in the business world. Men know how to play by the rules; their communicative strategy is developed in accordance with centennially established communicative strategies and women have to work hard in order to guess about these strategies. Nevertheless, there are some strategies that will help women to bridge communication gap. For example, in the process of speaking it is necessary to avoid raising voice at the end of sentences and thus you’ll won credibility. Moreover, women should speak on-time during meetings without waiting their turn. Proper factual comments will be beneficial to women credibility. Non-verbal communication should be also taken into account. Thus a direct eye contact among women doesn’t differ ‘I-hear-you-attitude’ and ‘I-agree-with-you attitude’. It is desirable to differentiate these attitudes. Smile among women is widely used in order to underline their friendly relations in the business world. Men use their smiles to flirt. It is worth remembering that women’ smiles can be misinterpreted by male audience. Women roles as Relaters shouldn’t be neglected as well. It is possible to act in compliance with REAP formula: R- repeat/review man’s message; E- empathize with man’s feelings; A- acknowledge that man’s message is worth being taken into account; P- persistent strategy until successful communication occurs. This formula is good both for daily communication between men and women, for relationships development and behavior at work. All the recommendations discussed above concern women. This emphasis may be shifted to changes of men communicative strategies as well. Intolerance and misunderstanding occurs between men and women when men become reserved and think about their own problems without paying a proper attention to their spouses/mothers/daughters. Unfortunately, this manner of behavior is widely-recognized. Explicit focus of men prevents them from proper considerations about inner world of a woman. In order to reach mutual understanding, the following recommendations may be given to men. First of all, it is necessary to establish a direct eye contact with a woman; listen properly to her story, ask questions, pay attention to gestures and smiles. In such a way it will be possible to reveal hidden ‘hints’ of women’ communicative strategy. Conclusion The differences between men and women have been discussed for centuries and by different scholars. There is even an abstract idea that men and women came from different planets. In the process of communication women and men created something like an unseen wall between them. Thus communication between men and women often leads to quarrels, arguments, anxieties etc. In order to overcome difficulties in communication, it is necessary to pay attention to a lot of factors, starting from basic gender differences and social roles of men and women. Generally speaking, the communication gap between men and women is artificially created by people themselves. In such a way men gain more power, authority and credibility in the business world and women wear masks of emotional creatures caring only about their appearances. The fact that attention is paid to bridging communication gap between men and women signifies mutual dissatisfaction of men and women with arguments, misunderstandings and anxieties occurring in the result of communication gap. Therefore it is relevant to work at development of strategies directed on bridging communication gap between men and women in the name of successful social activity and personal happiness. Read More