Triangular Love - Research Paper Example

Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love Love according to Beall & Sternberg (1995) is experienced by different people in different ways and is determined by how it is defined by the society in which they live; more specifically whether the culture is individualistic or collectivist. Individualistic cultures are those where people place emphasis on their own goals or objectives rather than on in consideration of others. They identify themselves in accordance with their status in society, their level of education and amount of materialistic wealth (Myers, 2005).

Individualistic cultures evident in most western countries foster independence from a young age, so individuals have autonomy in their life decisions including their selection of a mate. Collectivist cultures on the other hand, prioritize the goals of the group or ‘collective’ over their own desires; they identify themselves in accordance with the relationships they have with other people, such as family, extended family and friends (Myers, 2005). Collectivist cultures evident in many Eastern countries promote dependence or interdependence that cultivates a concern for others in all decisions made throughout a person’s lifetime, including their selection of a mate, which in some cases is made for them.

Sternberg (1986) hypothesized love as a phenomenon that changes many times; in other words it is a process with three interrelated constituents that he conceptualized as a triangle: intimacy, decision/commitment and passion. Sternberg (1986) describes intimacy as love pertaining to “closeness, connectedness, and bondedness” (p.119); while decision/commitment relates to the “decision that one loves someone else” and the “commitment to maintain that love” (p.119); passion on the other hand refers to the “drive that leads to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation”.

As love is revolving and varying the three components are not necessarily evident at one time or they may not be balanced. Sternberg also posits that the three triangular components can come together in combinations that generate eight different types of love (1986, 1988), and one relationship is capable of experiencing all eight types over time. Within an individualistic culture a person very often selects their mate based on passion and desire for the other person which Sternberg calls infatuated love and they then make a decision to commit to the relationship; thus two components of Sternberg’s triangle are combined to form what he refers to as fatuous love.

With the ability to make their own decisions without having to take others into consideration, this type of love often results in early consummation and cohabitation or marriage. In some cases because of hasty decisions the passion may disappear leaving only commitment in the relationship; love according to Sternberg (1986) that involves only commitment is empty love and in most cases would end in nonlove (none of the three triangular love components) and the end of the relationship. If on the other hand the fatuous love relationship holds steadfast then the couple can build trust and develop intimacy; thus combining all three elements of Sternberg’s love: passion, commitment and intimacy which for him is ultimate love and termed consummate love (1986).

Within a collectivist culture a marriage partner is often chosen on behalf of the daughter or son, in which case the relationship is more likely to begin with commitment (empty love) and for the lucky couples may develop over time to incorporate intimacy; love that includes commitment and intimacy according to Sternberg, (1986) is companionate love. For other couples who are not so lucky however, the relationship may deteriorate rather than develop and thus become devoid of any of Sternberg’s three elements of love, resulting in nonlove.

It is evident that there are many types and combinations of love and relationships. This paper has addressed only a few combinations and although distinction has been made between individualistic and collectivist cultures in terms of their mate selection, love and relationships, all types and combinations can be found across both cultures. ReferencesBeall, A.E. & Sternberg, R.J. (1995). The social construction of love, Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, vol.12, 417-43. Retrieved from http://spr.sagepub.com/content/12/3/417.full.pdf+htmlMyers, D. (2005). Social Psychology, New York: McGraw-Hill Higher Education.

Sternberg, R.J. (1986). A triangular theory of love, Psychological Review, vol. 93 (2), 119-135. Retrieved from http://content.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.apollolibrary.com/pdf23_24/pdf/ddd/pdh/rev/rev-93-2-119.pdf?T=P&P=AN&K=rev-93-2-119&S=R&D=pdh&EbscoContent=dGJyMNHX8kSeprU4v%2BvlOLCmr0iepq9Ss6u4TbaWxWXS&ContentCustomer=dGJyMPPm5ofj5OeQuePfgeyx5IwASternberg, R.J. (1988). The psychologist’s companion (2nd ed.). New York: Cambridge University Press.