The Stages of Counseling - Essay Example

Counseling has several stages to it (Nelson-Jones, Introduction to Counselling Skills: Text and Activities 2008). The first stage is the relating stage wherein you relate with the subject’s frame of mind. This can be done by being attentive to what he says and at times also paraphrasing and repeating it. This makes the client feel that he was listened to and understood properly and this instills a belief in the client towards the counselor. The next stage is the understanding stage. In this stage, the counselor tries to understand the thinking style of the subject. Next is the changing stage wherein the counselor tries to mentor the subject thereby changing his thinking pattern and thus helping him to solve his problems.

Counseling requires a lot of activities from the counselor’s side to help the subject. The Counsellor needs to create verbal, vocal, and bodily communication with the subject (Board 2005). Once effective communication is established between the counselor and the subject, it becomes easy for the counselor to understand the frame of reference of the subject. Counselors should make use of appropriate micro skills to establish effective communication with the speaker (Hough 1996). The micro skills constitute keeping eye contact with the client and encouraging the client throughout by nodding at intervals. Acknowledgment of the subject’s emotions and feelings is also very important (Burnard 1999). The counselor should make sure that he is not doing any other task then. Interrupting the client for no reason is also a must-do not for counselors. Counselors should make sure that the questions they ask the clients should not be leading ones and should be open questions (Inskipp 1988). Leading questions direct the clients to give the answers that the counselors desire. The counselor should face the client in a square position and should maintain a posture that shows involvement from the side of the counselor. The counselor should never sit right in front of the client since this refers to an enemy position. Hence, a square position is suggested. The counselor should also take up an open posture i.e. hands and legs should not be crossed while sitting. Leaning a bit towards the client also signifies involvement. And lastly, if the counselor stays relaxed, this comforts the client too (Ray Woolfe 1999).

Being listened to is a very basic human need. Silence is a very important part of counseling (Bob Shebib 1997). It allows a client to advance at his own comfortable pace. It also gives the client some space to explore his own emotions. The counselor should be able to connect with the speaker so that he can express his emotions more openly and can let loose his emotions. Also, the counselor should not judge the client. This makes the client feel he is in safe hands and makes him more open to the counselor. Also, the client feels that the counselors respect his feelings. Counsellor should see the situation from the client’s eyes i.e. he should put himself in the client’s shoes to be able to completely understand the client (Cherry Eales 2005).

The counselor may ask questions from his subject. This might force the client to look at his situation from a different perspective too. The questions asked by the counselors should not be done to satisfy their curiosity but should lead to a deeper exploration of clients' feelings (Millar 2004). There should also be a sufficient gap between the questions, otherwise, the client might get the feeling that he is being investigated and this may limit him from expressing himself freely.

There are also some must-DONTs for counselors. A counselor must never argue. This is because due to this action, the client might get defensive and may not be able to express his true emotions. Also, the counselors should remember that they are just facilitators for the client to help them solve their problems. They should not try to solve their client’s problems. The clients should be encouraged to solve their problems. Counselors should never rubbish the client’s problems or emotions. This can make the clients unreceptive and frustrated (Stephen Palmer 2007). There are some other barriers to engaging with the client like over-familiarity i.e. giving the client a sign that you already know what his feelings are. This can keep the client from opening up to the counselor. Also, cultural differences are one very critical barrier. Eye contact in some cultures is considered bad. And the client might get uncomfortable with this (Unit 2000).

Concluding, every counselor must ask himself these questions regularly after conducting counseling sessions. The questions are “How receptive am I to the client’s emotions?”Did I distract the client in any intentional or no intentional way” How can I be more effective and efficient in conducting counseling the next time?” “To what extent do my nonverbal cues indicate my willingness to help the client?” (Sue Culley 2004) Read More