A Child Called It by Dave Pelzer - Essay Example

Running Head A Child Called ‘It’ A Child Called ‘It’ A Child Called ‘It’ by Dave Pelzer “A Child Called "It” is an autobiographical work by Dave Pelzer written in 1995. This is an impressive life story portraying family violence and child abuse. This is a real life story depicting personal past of Dave Pelzer, his physiological stress and emotional sufferings caused by his alcoholic mother and careless father. This story is about moral and physical sufferings of a child and cruelty typical for some American families. Using his personal example, Dave Pelzer describes that child abuse tends to occur in families that are socially isolated. In many cases, the child, because of illness, irritability, or the parents incorrect choice of actions, would not return the desired and expected response. In such an interaction, the child’s purpose can be seen as blameworthy. Pelzer writes that his mother often found any excuse to bit him: “SMACK!. Mother bits me in the face and I topped to the floor. I know better than to stand there and take the bit, I learned the bard way that she takes as an act of defiance, which means more bits, or worst of all, no food ” (Pelzer, 1995, p. 3). As a child, Pelzer cannot resist domestic violence and psychical abuse. This situation creates feelings of helplessness, frustration and anger. A hasty move of children can also generate stresses for both the children and caretakers alike, with the children suddenly uprooted and the caretakers unprepared to meet their needs. In contrast to his siblings, favored by his mother, Pelzer was beaten, bruised and sometimes tortured for a long time. In some instances his injuries threatened his life: For instance, once Dave was stubbed in the chest, and “the pain from the pinching was more than I could stand. With my teeth clamped tightly on the rag, my screaming was muffled. I felt as though I was hanging from a cliff” (Pelzer, 1995, p. 23). This book is about emotional abuse and psychological distress caused by parents. Pelzer was subjected to emotional abuse and neglect, including malnutrition, being left alone and living in squalid conditions. It seems likely that Pelzer subjected to violent parenting repeatedly asserted his needs and his dependency only to find his caretakers unable to meet them. In such cases, the childrens immaturity would have been experienced by the parents as an intolerable extra demand that competed with the parents own dependency wishes. Frustration and violence to the children then resulted. The author describes: “I knew if I wanted to live, I would have to think ahead. I could no longer cry like a helpless baby” (Pelzer 1995, p. 43). The author does not pay much attention to father’s personality but he mentions that the father did not stop violent actions of the mother and remained indifferent to his sufferings. The important theme of the book is social help and school’s support which helped Pelzer to stop family violence and abuse. The main character of the book went on to write this story in order to inspire other children and women to report the cases of family violence and stop maltreatment. Also, this book is a vivid story of psychological sufferings and emotional distress caused by abuse and violence. It is a story for those parents who beat and humble their children unaware of psychological and emotional feelings of their children. Also, Pelzer depicts that physical characteristics of "victims" may not only enhance perception of them as targets, unlikely to retaliate effectively, children, for example, may be more severely beaten if they do choose to retaliate -but may also place them "out-of-role" for eliciting more prosocial family behavior. Personal catalysts to violence include difficulties in labeling emotions, difficulties in labeling others actions, restricted problem-solving competencies, unrealistic family role expectations, and alcoholism. Once his mother told him: "If you dont finish on time, Im going to kill you" (Pelzer 1995, p. 22). The main character of the book went on to depict his sufferings because many children and women are faced with the same problems but keep silence afraid of tortures and beating. It is important o note that families differ in their expectations of and sanctions for hostile or injurious behavior; they also create forms or places in which violence is ignored, promoted, or decried. People differ in their construction of events and actions because they differ among themselves in temperament, experiences, and other characteristics. Nonetheless, individuals are not totally isolated from one another but must share a core understanding of their situation if coordinated action is to be possible. Using the theme of family violence and abuse, Pelzer underlines that these facets of parenting are inter-related and parenting problems often can be seen as an inability to maintain equilibrium between them. This is particularly so for adults who have suffered punitive controls and unmet caring needs during childhood. Their frustrated care experiences make them especially vulnerable to threatened losses of supportive relationships, threats to self-esteem or extra dependency demands made on them by others. Any of these stresses can provoke extreme anxiety and feelings of being out of control, resulting in an explosion of anger or attempts to punish or control the person evoking the insecurity. Usually, this is through impulsive violence but in addition the parent may try to prevent such feelings being stirred up by distancing the source of the threats, either by removing themselves and neglecting the child or by shutting the child away. Hence, violent, neglectful or not existing forms of child abuse occur. I like this book because it is based on real life events and sufferings faced by the author. It is not a fictional book but a vivid narration of hardship and emotional distress faced by many children in America. As the most important, this book underlines the role and importance of interventions and control exercised by the school authorities. I like this book because violence is not the exclusive property of a few cruel or mentally ill parents or spouses. Pelzer portrays hat mistreatment of family members is not viewed as a generic problem, but rather in terms of different types according to the status of the victim. Judgments of seriousness should be associated with both the victims level of dependence and the victims lack of power within the family. This indicates the importance of the structure and function of the family in shaping definitions of family mistreatment. Social support can be understood as the extent to which ones basic social needs, for affection, esteem, belonging, identity, and security, are gratified through interaction with others and the environment. Pelzer (1995) describes: “One morning at school, I was told to report to the school nurse” (p. 117). I would recommend this book to all parents and caretakers, school staff and local authorities. Also, it would be a helpful for people studying psychology and sociology, social workers and police officers. Even though the world outside the family is less violent than the world inside the family, the loving and supportive aspects of the family obscure an ability to perceive the violent aspect of family life and to face up to how much violence exists. The family is a loving and supportive group, but it is an extremely violent group. That does not mean that all families are loving and supportive, nor does it mean that all families are violent. Typically, love is most likely to be experienced in the context of ones family. Similarly, violence is more likely to occur at the hands of a family member than it is at the hands of anyone else. The themes of support arising from this book reiterate many concepts in social-support programs, but themes of social obstruction seem to counteract them. This book helps others evaluate their situations and sort them out, intimates can confuse issues. Acts to confuse others can be more than acts of omission, such as ignoring a call for help. References 1. Pelzer, D.J. (1995), A Child Called ‘It’. HCI; Reissue edition. Read More