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Letter from Hagar - Essay Example

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You marriage made me happy and sad at the same time, as I could not bring myself to be present on such occasion. What must you think of me? I dare you not to…
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Letter from Hagar
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A letter from Hagar to Tina My Dear Tina, The news of your marriage is like music unto my ears, like the calming ripples of water flowing gently untoa stream. You marriage made me happy and sad at the same time, as I could not bring myself to be present on such occasion. What must you think of me? I dare you not to answer that, as I was never the grandmother most grandmothers should be. But bear with me and learn from my experience, that you may live a life free from shackles held me down.
I am already in the twilight of my years. I have seen several seasons and have bid several farewells to my men as they departed for the graves. “Pride was my wilderness, and the demon that led me there was fear. I was alone, never anything else, and never free, for I carries my chains within me, and they spread out from me and shackled all I touched”(page 292). My dear child, you are young and the fountain of youth flows upon you. Waste it not your youth on matters that will chain your heart and soul. You must know that I loved your grandfather dearly though I never really found the right way to show him how much. I could not at that time for I believed that I must maintain restraint and never allow my feelings flow as freely as a cascading waterfall. I exhort you not commit the same mistakes I did. I could have shown your grandfather the ecstasies I felt when making love. “It was not long after we wed, when first I felt my blood and vitals rise to meet his. He never knew. I never spoke aloud, and I made certain the trembling was all inner… I prided myself on keeping my pride intact, like some maindenhood” (page 81). Alas, I was wrong. I could have soared to the skies and explode that a super nova in the skies and then come down from heaven to dance with the daffodils but I was too proud to do such things. I made myself believe that pride is more important than showing warmth and accepting the same like an all consuming fire that runs through your veins searing you blood until you scream not in agony but in ecstasy.
Now, as I look back into the empty years where I held my feeling locked and sealed inside me, tears come welling up and spilling down my weathered cheeks unbidden. I strived to hide them but could not. I could have given more but did not. I could not bring myself to show much love and say the right word a t the right time. Like a stone angel made of hard marble, I am doubly blind. But then again, would they have reacted differently had I said and done things differently? Would they? I think not. So it is perfectly all right.
Child, I want you to remember this always. There are many things in your life that you will later regret. But the one thing you must never find in your heart to regret is that you never really showed the people you love how much you loved them. Wait not for the time when they are no longer there to hear the words you so longed to tell them but never found the courage to really say so. For what good would such words be if there were no more ears to hear them? What good would all the love be when the heart upon whence it was intended to reach is already cold and dead?
Trust me child, life is just a hard or as easy as you would want it to be. And of course, love will always make a big difference on how you see things.
All the best,
Hagar
Reference: Laurence Margaret (1968) The Stone Angel Read More
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