Major Characteristics of Shyness - Essay Example

Introduction: Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. - Andr Dubus Shyness may be defined experientially as discomfort and/or inhibition in interpersonal situations that interferes with pursuing one's interpersonal or professional goals. It is a form of excessive self-focus, a preoccupation with one's thoughts, feelings and physical reactions. It may vary from mild social awkwardness to totally inhibiting social phobia. Shyness may be chronic and dispositional, serving as a personality trait that is central in one's self definition. Situational shyness involves experiencing the symptoms of shyness in specific social performance situations but not incorporating it into one's self-concept. Shyness reactions can occur at any or all of the following levels: cognitive, affective, physiological and behavioral, and may be triggered by a wide variety of arousal cues. Among the most typical are: authorities, one-on-one opposite sex interactions, intimacy, strangers, having to take individuating action in a group setting, and initiating social actions in unstructured, spontaneous behavioral settings. Metaphorically, shyness is a shrinking back from life that weakens the bonds of human connection. Shyness: The percentage of adults in the United States reporting that they are chronically shy, such that it presents a problem in their lives, had been reported at 40%, plus or minus 3%, since the early 1970's. Recent research indicates that the percentage of self-reported shyness has escalated gradually in the last decade to nearly 50% (48.7% + /- 2%). The National Co-morbidity Survey in 1994 revealed a lifetime prevalence of social phobia of 13.3%, making it the third most prevalent psychiatric disorder. (Encyclopedia of Mental Health, Academic Press, San Diego, CA, SHYNESS, Lynne Henderson The Shyness Clinic, Portola Valley, California, Phillip Zimbardo, Stanford University, Stanford, California). In humans, shyness is the feeling of apprehension or lack of confidence experienced in regard to social association with others, e.g. being in proximity to, approaching and being approached by others. In zoology, shy generally means "tends to avoid human beings". Adolescence can be a challenging time with youth experiencing biological, psychological, and social changes. Both normative stressors (such as moving from middle school to high school), as well as non-normative stressors (such as parental divorce) have been linked to an increased risk of such internalizing behaviors as depression and anxiety. The first thing to understand about shyness is that neither is it a symptom of cowardice or inferiority. Shyness has nothing to do with cowardice or inferiority, so no one should make the association, either consciously or unconsciously. As a part of the growing or adolescence comes the necessity of "showing performance", often this competition or the need to prove one's self starts at home among the siblings. If a boy of 13 to 16 years of age is very shy in nature and finds a problem in interacting with people as any other physically and mentally normal boy of his age would do with ease, a peep into his family frequently exposes a very dominating elder sibling. Other than the sibling often very dominating, criticizing, discouraging and strict parental behavior also contributes immensely in forcing the child to withdraw and eventually become shy and afraid. As a result of this stress and of the fear of being judged and criticized, often the person is unable to unearth his/her own capabilities; they deprive themselves of the chance of doing something worthy. Even though they have the potential they lack the confidence to pull a job efficiently, they themselves become their worst critics. One of the most common and prominent reason among the others that lead adolescents to become shy and introvert, is the inhuman experience of any sort of physical and/or sexual abuse during their childhood. In their childhood children are often prey to these kinds of misfortune and the people responsible for such activities are unfortunately those who are in some way related to the child. Often a relative, family member, neighbor or a teacher/guardian is the culprit. Children living in hostels are also vulnerable prey to these kinds of hostilities. As a child the individual may not be very much aware of the mishaps happening to him, but as they reach adolescence and become aware of the facts, they have a tendency of feeling humiliated and shameful and they withdraw into solitude. These individuals are afraid, shy and shameful of interacting with people and as the most harmful effect, suffer from extremely low self confidence. In some way they regard themselves responsible for whatever they undergo whereas the only way they are responsible is that they are the unfortunate victim. Even as these individuals gain age, very few of them are successful in forgetting the trauma and the ones who do succeed have a fresh scar hidden always in the back of their mind and deepest corner of their heart. Another form of shyness to which too many youngsters are prey is what renowned psychologist Brian G. Gilmartin describes a specific type of severe chronic shyness. According to his definition, published in Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatments (1987), love-shy people find it difficult to be assertive in informal situations involving potential romantic or sexual partners. For example, a heterosexual love-shy male will have trouble initiating conversations with women because of strong feelings of anxiety. This is a type of shyness which is a bit different from the other ones, in this case the individual is more or less normal with people of the same sex but find it tremendously difficult to interact with the opposite sex. This type of shyness can be induced as a result of not being physically attractive, smart and socially recognized and they face too much belittlement at home and abuse from elders in school and at home. These individuals often have considerably more violent fantasies, they are very pessimistic and cynical about the world, were much more likely to believe that nobody cared about them, and were much more likely to have difficulties concentrating. The love-shy men have a tendency of staring compulsively at women with whom they were infatuated or even stalk them, but without being able to talk to them. Most of the love-shy men experience frequent feelings of depression, loneliness, and alienation. A small number of the men often try to disassociate from reality through various mean, and some of them even consider committing suicide. Another social issue that easily induces shyness in young minds is being week in studies and having an unimpressive career. The most common story is the comparison and negligence a child, week in studies, faces in a family. Often these children are suspected of being naughty and careless with their studies where the actual fact is that they are unable to cope with the pressure. This compels them to become shy and disassociated from his fellow beings. The most harmful effect being that they search refuge in the world of drugs and addiction. Conclusion: Whenever we come across a person who is shy and feels uncomfortable in mingling freely with other people, instead of mocking and making fun of him we should try to understand them and try our best to make them comfortable. These individuals as it is suffer a lot due to their inability to express and adjust themselves to their surrounding people and environment, by mocking and torturing them we add a lot to their misery without thinking of the consequences. Shyness is only a mere personality disorder and can be easily overcome by some effort and co-operation, if we cant help them by making an effort at least we can make an effort of not torturing them. Often which starts as a joke among friends turns to ridicule and eventually may result in suicide or murder And for the person who is shy, he must try and help himself to venture out of his shell and experience the company of other fellow beings which in a way adds different flavors and colors to one's life which can otherwise be pretty monotonous on its own. Read More