Paper Daughter: A Memoir by M. Elaine Mar - Essay Example

Central episodes for Mar must include first losing, in Hong Kong, then being reunited in America, with her beloved father. The family situation at her Aunt Becky's house was central to her coming to terms with how different her life must now be - she was unable to feel at home, and sensed her mother and father were dependent on his sister, and the lack of power this engenderd. This was prophetic, as all the incidents in school, the name calling, bullying, highlighted her predicament. She was never going to be the same as others, accepted as in Hong Kong, nor could she explain this to her parents.

They had no English, Elaine could use the common languages of Another important contribution to the formation of Elaine's character and her integration, was the relationship she formed with the all-American busboys, like older brothers to her. Although still a child, she recognized their importance as part of the process of bringing her parents out of their total isolation. The restaurant was a 'middle kingdom' (the name for China), where the parents were forced to relate to non-Chinese. Here, Elaine was happy, A further episode which drove Elaine away from her Chinese values was that of her relationship with Lindsey.

Though she fought for her rights to be with him, when he finished with her, unable to handle all the drama, she was filled with self-loathing at how she had allowed her body to "separate me from my family" (Chap. 11, p. 245). She embarked on a period of dangerous controlling activity on the grounds that "if I were a better person, my family would be happy again."For one small girl, she laid a huge responsibility on herself. With regard to the 'model minority', growing up, Mar had no idea of the existence of those Asians who, allegedly comprised this group; that there were Chinese in the 'professional classes'.

In her Introduction, she stated clearly what the reality consisted of: 'The truth is, my childhood community.in Denver, where the boundaries were not defined by city blocks - has more in common the Harlen, Appalachia, and an Indian reservation than with the fantasy..' (p. viii and ix)The picture was well defined, of isolation and separation, not only for the child in school, but by the activities of the adults and the security they achieved at the Hip Sing club. Mar encapsulated how far from the 'model' her father was, when describing his fear of driving outside his own limited area.

His lack of English excluded him fully. At he end of her stay at Teluride House, this perception 3.was further driven home,