Booty Call and Cherry Lees Quote - Essay Example

As it is a well known quote that The attitude an individual has toward human sexuality is highly symbolic. It not only tells us much about that individual's personal feelings of security and insecurity, but how the person deals with life in general. -Cherry Lee Human beings, whether males or females, are by nature desirous of the sex and sexual relationship at sometime or other in their life. Most of the people feel inclined towards sex and this inclination start usually at the age of adolescence. However, the peek of the desire to have a sex or sexual relationship with somebody exists in usually the college life, the same period that you are going through. At such a phase of life, we want to enjoy not only sex but by the passage of time we also realize the need for someone very special for us, someone, whom we can call our better half, someone who is more caring to you than anybody else in the life. That 'someone' is the person whom you wish to love you so much that you love him and you expect that 'someone' to not only be with you in bed, but with you through every thicks and thins of your life, to whom, you are far more than a booty call. Moreover, you not only want to have this feeling for him, but you also want him to have the same feeling for you. So we can say that at youth age, initially making sex is the main concern, however, when you keep on doing this with same person, one of you ultimately end up asking for something more than a 'booty call'. At this point of time, the desire for sex is then converted into the desire for the relationship, a committed one. (Mc Graw) I would like to provide the advice on your issue. This letter will reveal you that the relationships between the man and women exist in varying degree. However, this is common in all degrees, especially the closer ones, that when one set of desires are being fulfilled, you start to desire for more things into that relationship. This very psychology has made you demanding for a committed relationship, rather than a booty call. Thus after clarifying in your mind the dynamics of such psyche, my honest advice to you would be that you must be clear to yourself that what do you want, you can use some strategies like recalling past memories etc. to arouse the same desire of committed in relationship in him too. Even if it fails, you then need to prioritize between your feelings and your partner, that what is more important to you. When we talk of the interaction between a girl and guy in the western world, it exists with a varying degree of intensity. It may range from acquaintance to sexual relationship. There are very thin lines between various consecutive levels of relationships. When it comes to your case the two consecutive levels of interaction are 'booty call' and 'sexual relationship'. You need to realize the different between the two, especially what is really absent in the booty calls We must be clear about what I mean by booty call and the committed relationship. Booty call, in your context, is simple making sex with each other, without any committed relationship. It is simply a response to the mutual sexual urges. So, it is the commitment that differentiates the relationship. Moreover, booty call is restricted to the bed only. It does not include any typical dates, social gatherings etc. In your case, it seems that initially, you had a relationship with him, as you mentioned that you people used to hang out together. However, after meeting again it had been converted into the booty call type thing or we can say a relationship purely intended for sex and not having any other feeling or commitment. See, many studies show that when two people start having sex with same partners repeatedly, it is bound to happen that one of them will ultimately feel urge for something more. (Lecture, 7/19/07) He or she will start to get possessive about his or her partner. So it is a common phenomenon. It is also said that when you consistently sleep with one guy, this practice ultimately compels you enter into a committed relationship with that person, (Molly, section 13) because, as I told earlier, there very thin lines of division between the two. Human desires are never completely satiated. When one desire is fulfilled, another arises and this way this process goes on and on. Same is the case of relationship. Initially, person thinks that it's good that I have someone at least to satisfy my sexual desires. But when this desire is fulfilled, we start to look for more. Here 'more' means more intensified relationship. Furthermore, this must be borne in mind that having sex does not mean you are together again. There is a difference between relapse and reunion. (Lecture, 8/1/07) Probably, we you people meet again you expected the same relationship as before but your partner was not in a mood to have a committed relationship. The step that you can take in this regard is to be clear to yourself, in the first place. Ask yourself, what do you want What do you expect of him Do you want with him a committed relationship with him or even if it is only a 'in bed' relation, that is also ok for you After being clear on this question, if you have the earlier opinion (committed relationship), be straight forward and tell him (when neither of you is drunk). Express all your feelings before him, even if at that moment he does not agree, as it seems likely from you letter, give him a time to think over it. While doing so, be careful that you need to emphasize that how important and enjoyable it is for both to have a committed relationship. Do not emphasize 'I feel', try to let him feel. Let him realize that some day he would be in the same confusion as you are today, but that would have been quite late. Try to bring him into nostalgia, the wonderful memories of past, the pleasant moments especially while dating and hanging out together. Past memories have great effect in creating a desire to have committed relationships. Past memories are great weapon. Think of what in past (when you had relationship) was annoying for him. If there is something factor like that which you can remove, try to show by your action that you can overcome that particular actor. Finally, if all that go in vain and every effort seems to be futile, that would be the time when you will have to take a decision. At that very point, that calmly, what you want him, him with a non-committed relationship or another one with the committed relationship. This would be the hardest step, yet it's better to take it earlier rather than later. Because, the later it is, the harder it would be to take that decision. To end up, remember that what you desire is not something abnormal, it is a common phenomenon to ask for more than what you are already getting. In this situation, you can change yourself, change him or finally replace him. The option that you will select out of these three will depend on what is more important for you and your partners, the feelings or the partners. I wish that you again start enjoying a 'committed relationship' with him. Regards, Other Bibliography: McGraw, Phillip. Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner . Hyperion, 2001. Read More