Understanding the Process of Learning Garnered from Listening - Essay Example

Sensation, Perception and Attention: Understanding the Process of Learning Garnered From Listening Introduction Communication is an important part of human relations. In fact, it has been noted as the oldest and the most basic procedure that humans once used and continues to use in order to have strong connection with each other. Through historical reports, it could be noted that humans belonging to different civilizations were following different patterns of communication with each other. Today, there are numerous ways of communication with each other that makes it possible for people to reconnect with everyone else in the society. However, not everyone is able to establish a fine connection with others through the utilization of communication. There is such a thing as ineffective communication, which instead of creating a fine relationship with others, it creates tension between people who are trying to create connection with their fellowmen. This is where communication roadblocks enter the discussion. These roadblocks are usually encountered because of the differences of each human individual. It could be noted that because of the differences of each person, the receiving and giving of message through words and action between people may not be that common enough to easily understand. Within the paragraphs that follow, the said twelve roadblocks shall be discussed clearly as based from the sensation, perception and attention practice that had been performed by the author of this paper. The Factors Contributing to Communication Issues The roadblocks mentioned earlier could be identified to fall into three major divisions. These include judging, sending solutions, and avoiding other's concerns. These three divisions are then subdivided into few more 12 subsections. At some point, these destructive procedures of communication at times happen when two persons are in a discussion that is involving problems or personal troubles. Because of the tension that is usually built up due to the problem being talked about, the sense of right reasoning is usually lost because of the lack of understanding that exists due to the tension. To be able to understand everything, the twelve roadblocks should be discussed herein in a clearer pattern: Judging Criticizing This is the way by which a person intends to manipulate the thinking of the other person through questioning the attitudes of the other. Not only that, the situation usually aggravates the questioning of the attitude of the other towards the other person. Robert Bolton comments on the matter saying: "Many of us feel we need to be critical, or other people will never improve we make a negative evaluation of the other person, for his or her actions, or attitudes." (Burtis, 2005, 18) The attitude of man to even aggravate the situation being faced by the other because of some emotional attachment to the issue makes this particular roadblock an effective way of stopping or heating up a particular conversation. Name-calling At some point, when people get pissed off because of a heated conversation, they tend to course the other or at times they name-call the others with insulting titles that makes it hard for the other party of communication to understand clearly what is happening. The result then leads to a more aggravated heated conversation. Bolton further adds, "Name calling and labeling usually have negative overtones to both the sender and receiver. Labeling prevents us from getting to know ourselves and other individuals." (1999) Diagnosing At some point, when people argue over something, they become too much sensitive with how the other reacts upon a certain situation or how a person intends to talk back to them. The sensitiveness results to diagnosis of the reaction of the other and the way of speech that he or she uses within the conversation. Instead of simply listening to what the person says, reading between the lines becomes another way of decoding the bodily message of the person who is speaking. Another comment from Bolton reads: "We analyze why a person is behaving as he or she is. Playing amateur psychiatrist. Diagnosing is a form of labeling. Instead of listening to the substance of what a person is saying, some people play emotional detective." Praising Evaluatively Praising others with the good things that they do is not wrong. However, praising them with hidden motives of insulting them is a major roadblock in communication. Particularly, people tend to do this through disposing the message in double meaning. Whereas the evaluative praising is done to actually connote a wrong attitude of the person being talked to. This procedure of speaking is made through over-praising that is usually based on fraudulent backgrounds. Sending Solutions Sometimes, when two people are talking to each other, they have the tendency of giving each other an advice, which they think, is necessary for the situation being dealt with by the other. However, it appears that at times, listening is better than giving one's opinion on the matter at all. It could be observed through this that the importance of listening is really appreciated during times of low emotional situations of other people. Ordering and Threatening Most likely, when a person gets overwhelmed with a situation whereas another close person is involved with, he tends to create a possibility by which he could fix the situation for the other person. He intends to order the other to take some steps and later on threaten him with the consequences that might face him if he does not follow the orders given to him. The motive is good indeed but the process of sending the proposed help for the other is wrong making the conversation less refreshing than expected. Moralizing and excessive Questioning To straighten up the path of the other, one tends to moralize him through giving him advices, which he thinks would help him clean up possible mess that he made. Aside form this; excessive questioning regarding the situation even makes the moralization procedure a bit more irritating as it intends to increase the tension, which is already felt by the other person. Advising As mentioned earlier, at times, a person simply needs somebody who would be ready to listen to him. Consequently not all who are becoming the confidant of others realize this. Hence, they tend to advice the person of what should be done, when actually it is not that necessary. The confusion then occurs and the disagreement develops. Bolton again says: "We give the other person a solution to their problems. The advice-giving trap is a rather constant temptation to us, and we find we are most apt to give in to it when someone we love talks over a problem with usAdvice is often a basic insult to the intelligence of the other person. It implies a lack of intelligence in the capacity of the person with the problem to understand and cope with their own difficultiesanother problem with advice is that the advisor seldom understands the full implications of the problem, the complexities, the feelings, and other factors that lie hidden beneath the surface." (1999). Yes, sometimes, people already know what to do; they just need somebody to hear them out. Avoiding other's concerns Diverting Sometimes when people are so eager to share something, they tend to talk and talk and talk. When it is the time of the other to talk, they intend to divert the conversation back to where they started and talk about their own story again. To many, this is quite insulting especially because it denotes that the other is not really that interested in listening to what the other person has to say. Logical Argument To display intelligence, some tent to be sarcastically logical in evaluating the conversation. Primarily this would insult the other speaker making the conversation less productive. Moreover, these comments are less emotionally concerned. People tend to talk and talk continuously without actually giving concern to what the others are saying. Reassuring At some point, when someone becomes the confidant of a certain person, he feels the need of being able to be of help with the person and the situation that he is dealing with. He then tends to help the other by reassuring him when actually he fears of the pressure placed upon his responsibility because of the conversation. These twelve roadblocks to effective conversation certainly make it harder for people to resolve the problems that they are dealing with. Learning all these particular truths about conversation basics points out to the importance of the one particular element of effective element of communication that is listening. The Art of Listening TODAY there are all manner of "gaps" between people. There is the "generation gap" between old and young. There are gaps between parents and children, between schoolteachers and their students, between employers and employees and between religious leaders and their flocks. What are the causes of these gaps No doubt they are varied and many, but quite likely one of the main ones is failure on the part of both parties to communicate. This, in turn, is largely due to each party's failing to listen to the other. So often persons are thinking of something else while someone is talking to them, instead of paying attention to what is being said. Husbands are prone to do this, especially if they have talkative wives. Mastering the art of listening is particularly important for parents, for schoolteachers, for men with responsibility in business and industry, and for all who would counsel persons with emotional problems. (Dandy, 1991, 45) Listening means really paying attention with both our mind and our heart, with both our ears and our understanding. "Pay attention" is an appropriate expression because doing so will cost you something. What Especially time, but also self-interest, for you will have to put the interests of another ahead of your own. In other words, it will require a measure of unselfishness, wisdom on your part, also patience and self-control. There might be said to be three basic kinds of listening. (1)Listening for information, for facts and figures, for the thought content. (2)Also listening for emotional content, paying attention to the tone of voice and whether the speaker is happy or depressed, pleased or angry, proud or humble. The emotions manifested by the speaker, if noted, will go far toward throwing light on what is said. Empathy is all-important for this kind of listening. And (3)there is also the matter of listening for that, which is not said. (Dandy, 1991, 47) Implications of Learning From the informations particularly found in this particular study, it could be noticed that the implications of the fine practice of communicating with others could actually be applied within the patterns of procedural approach used in natural therapy. Through the ability of a therapist of when on to start speaking and when to start listening, the counseling therapy that he or she would be able to provide her clients would surely be a source of refreshment to the weary minds seeking assistance from the said professionals. Through the therapists' constant consideration on what the person asking for their help really want to receive basing from the way they present their issues, they could actually be able to give the ample help that their clients require of. Through this, the existence of fine understanding between the client and the therapist would occur making the situation easier to solve. Conclusion From the context of this paper, it could be observed that communication exists in two different roads of stop and go. One is listening and one is speaking. There are times when speaking and speaking of what one thinks about is not that helpful in creating a fine a procedure of communicating. There are moments when keeping still and listening to what is being said by the other gives more support than advising or commanding them of what they should and should not do regarding a particular situation. From this point, it is indeed necessary to do the right thing at the right time. With the twelve roadblocks of communication mentioned earlier, it could be noticed that the capability of a person to understand and being reasonable within a conversation is affected by different influences. Certainly, through the effective use of timing on when to talk and when to listen, a conversation between to people could indeed turn into a more refreshing source of comfort. When people speak, the words they use may correctly identify emotions. But if their words are not expressed with corresponding feeling, those who hear them may doubt their sincerity. On the other hand, if the words are expressed with appropriate feeling, the said speech can take on a beauty that may touch the hearts of others. References: Robert Bolton. (1999). "The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing." What Are Barriers To Communication http://www.cssd11.k12.co.us/SPRINGCREEK/education_program/non_traditional_education/science_of_success/barriers_to_communication.htm. (October 27, 2008). Kevin Hogan. (2000). Can't Get Through: 8 Barriers to Communication. Pelican Publishing Company. Evelyn B. Dandy. (1991). Black Communications: Breaking Down the Barriers. African American Images; 1st ed edition. John O. Burtis. (2005). Group Communication Pitfalls: Overcoming Barriers to an Effective Group Experience. Sage Publications, Inc. Read More