When Marty Met Clara - Essay Example

Marty On the night that Marty met Clara, they did follow the rules of self-disclosure. Marty was able to comfort Clara ashe narrated personal experiences and stories. There were no major shift roles that happened between Marty and Clara. What has transpired on that scene was a beneficial exchange of thoughts and ideas first for Marty as he made Clara feel better after being ditched by her date and then by Claire who in return made Marty felt better by commenting that Marty was not as a “dog” as the way he generalize men. She was able to make Marty realize his ideas and picture out what he wants in a marriage. Choosing a partner in life does not mean choosing who is the best looking amongst the people in town. The main purpose of the rules of self-disclosure is to give therapeutic rewards to people without over-exposing one’s personal life. When a person’s personal life is said to be over-exposed, that personal may feel a bit exploited and get pre-judged by people who barely knew them totally (Roes 22-26). According to Knapp, there are 5 stages of relationship development: 1) initiation, 2) experimenting, 3) intensifying, 4) integrating and 5) bonding. (Suresh, et al., 2) In that pattern, the initiation stage for Marty and Clara was when they had the dance after Clara was dumped by her date for the night. Though Marty got acquainted to Clara’s presence on the wrong note, he was able to make action and a better impression to Clara. Same goes for Clara that though she was crying and was embarrassed by what has transpired. The experimenting stage lasted for many hours that same night. From the Stardust Ballroom dance, they head over to a small luncheonette and further talked. There, they went further to the other stages of relationship development which is intensifying. According to Knapp, this is the stage where it is more of an informal setting in the relationship. Marty and Clara had a talk not about the past anymore but of what they would be doing in the next couple of days, weeks and even months. It is the scene where girls would giggle to see that not all pretty ladies get the better catch and not all good looking males are considered as good catch. It is also the goodness inside of a person that makes them beautiful and pleasant regardless of their outside appearance. They started disclosing more information about their personal life to the other as the other listen attentively as if they would miss information if they would blink. The night ended as Marty was talking Clara to move out of her parents’ place and accept the job offer in Port Chester. It may seem out of the line for Marty to talk to Clara about such things since they only know each other for a couple of hours. It showed how close they became in just a short period of time for them to talk about topics as if they have known each other since birth. There Marty again cited examples or experiences in his life so that Clara could have some thoughts about taking risks and being independent especially with her age. One fear of Clara is being lonely. There were a couple of instances that she told Marty that she is afraid to be lonely. Clara said, “I know that when you take me home Im just going to lie on my bed and think about you. I want very much to see you again.” This line expressed that what have transpired between the 2 characters where really going forward to the deeper stages of a relationship. This line though also shows that Clara has doubts with the intentions of Marty. Regardless of how Marty opened up, she still doubts if they will ever meet again. A big step in a relationship is what Knapp pertained to as the integrating stage. This is where they start to do things together and made a formal setting for the relationship. It was represented by Marty bringing Clara to their home and introduced her to Theresa, his mother. There was a conflict though that was felt with the conversation that Theresa and Clara had. Clara was not the type of girl that Theresa would want for Marty nor would Angie want for his best buddy. Doubts then would shadow Marty’s mind about Clara. Going against the odds, Marty and Clara entered the last stage of relationship development. This is the bonding stage. Marty thought he is not a young dashing debonair but still Clara did not considered that. She accepted Marty for who he is and that what made Marty want to settle down. It took him awhile before finding the right girl, but he did thanks to the man who offered him 5 bucks to take a girl home. It was Theresa who puts in culture as a factor on who Marty should marry. First, Theresa was persistent in finding a good Catholic girl to be his wife. Then after she was introduced to Clara and had that conversation, she was putting all the cards up against Clara. She even pointed out as to what kind of a girl would come to a man’s house whom she has just met. Theresa also had that line saying Clara was not Italian and therefore she would not approve of such relationship because of it. Marty was open-minded enough not to take those factors against Clara. Race and religion would not matter if they do really want to be with each other. He had been alone for thirty-four years, he would not let go of this opportunity that came onto him for a chance to experience happiness. Inactive listening was practiced on the scene when Angie was asking Marty as to where they would go out on a Saturday night. In a way, Marty also practiced this kind of listening as people, even his friends and own mother, would ask him on when he would settle down. When Marty and Clara was having their first scene together, Marty practiced active listening. It was not only him who practiced it but also Clara. That could be the reason why they understood what the other person was trying to get across because they were listening to the other person without judging them. Theresa on the other hand practiced selective listening when Marty was trying to defend Clara. Marty practiced the same thing when Ralph and Leo were talking him into dumping Clara the night that they have met. Marty however practiced reflective listening when Angie and Theresa were talking about Clara. Though what they have said as against her, it made him reflect as to what will transpire if he do or do not commit certain acts. It was not just Marty who practiced such; Clara also did on the earlier part of the film. It was when Marty was trying to put some sense into her about moving out and being independent. Works Cited: Marty. Dir. Delbert Mann. Perf. Ernest Borgnine, Betsy Blair, Esther Minciotti. DVD. MGM Home Entertainment. 2007. Roes, Rick. The Rules of Self Disclosure. Counselor,The Magazine for Addiction Professionals, December 2004, v.5, n.6, pp.26-28. Suresh, Kumar E., Sreehari, P., Savithri, J. Communication Skills And Soft Skills: An Integrated Approach. Darling Kinderley (India) Pvt. Ltd.: New Delhi, India. 2011. Read More