Family Portrait: Views on Feminism and Gender - Personal Statement Example

Family Portrait Views on Feminism and Gender Affiliation: Introduction The personI interviewed is my paternal aunt Joyce because she is easy to talk to and she is a stay home mother and housewife but not through her own accord. I chose to interview her because she makes a classical example of the lack of inequality between men and women in marriage and the society in general. Her description of herself was that she is nothing but an unemployed housewife who was forced to drop her career and aspirations by her husband simply because she became a mother and the husband being the head of the household makes all the decisions including controlling her life. I have known my aunt for long since I can remember and I knew a few of the answers she would provide to the interview questions and do so with the honesty and openness I wanted. There was no question that I felt uncomfortable to ask her as I was in a free relationship with her where she was more of a sister to me than an aunt. Interview Joyce’s definition of feminism is that it is a movement aimed to advocate equality between women and men in all aspects and areas from home to workplaces. Most of the feminists are however white women who have no first clue to what really happens in the homes and in marriages and they still have to permanent solutions to help the marginalized women without having to make them increase their marital problems. These feminists are highly educated white women and majority are not even married and hence at the end of it all have nothing much to lose by being feminists and advocating on having equal rights in all areas with the men. Her definition of the feminists reminded me of a passage in Hook’s article “Black Women Shaping Feminist Theory” which indicates that “Privileged feminists have largely been unable to speak to, with, and for diverse groups of women because they either do not understand fully the inter-relatedness of sex, race, and class oppression or refuse to take this inter-relatedness seriously (Hooks, 1984).” Joyce explained that being a man according to society entailed being the head of the house and making all the decisions as well as providing for the family. Masculinity had nothing however to do with the societal definition of a man but was everything to do with how the man interacted with others and especially women and how he treated them. Men who are abusive do not qualify to be classified in the definition of masculinity. Being a woman according to society meant obedience to their husbands and being caregivers. Femininity involves physical features of a woman and has everything to do with their body. According to her however, the societal definition of man and woman did not mean that the men had any control over a woman’s life and men should treat their women as equals and not as lesser beings as was her case with her husband. Her declaration was similar to the Seneca Falls resolution that a woman is man’s equal and should be recognized as such (Stanton, 1848). “The concept of manhood or womanhood has nothing to do with sexual orientation as my uncle who was my male role model and father figure taught me as I grew up” Joyce said. She told me that manhood and womanhood were inborn and not acquired. She admired her uncle because he always told her the truth no matter how ugly or hurtful it was and this is what made her achieve her career up until he died and she became married and let all his advice fly out the window. Her uncle’s advice which was not only directed at her but to other females in the family as well was that they should not let dictate their lives and make them feel inferior because women had come far and were more of partners than wives and “baby mommas.” She always took this advice lightly until now that she is married and has turned out exactly as the kind of woman her uncle warned her against becoming. Joyce admitted that she had left her husband treat her exactly according to the society’s definition of him becoming the head and making all the decisions and making her the inferior being. She no longer had input in their family as the husband was the sole provider and the head and her place was to provide care to her family, cook and clean after him and their children and nothing else. Her life from the interview was the classical example of the old generation women that feminists were trying so hard to change. Her self-esteem and urge to fight for equality was nowhere to be found even though her words and her eyes which mirrored her heart were conflicting. During the interview and in her discussion about woman, womanhood and femininity, I could see that she did not appreciate the way her life had turned out to be or how she had let her husband take control of her life. She had been forced by him to end her career and quit her job to become a stay home mother and which was slowly killing her inside. She warned me against turning into such a person in life who accepted her dreams to be crashed by someone all because of love or relationship. This is exactly what the article by Truth, (1851) says about women, that they can work as much as the men and hence should be treated as equals to the men and not otherwise. She had allowed her husband to treat her as he treated her children and not as his partner and she regretted it according to her on words during the interview. Even though Joyce’s life contradicted with the feminists’ views and suggestions on equality and women standing up for themselves in this day and era and claiming their rightful place in society, she nevertheless provided similar advice to me and to others as well. By the end of the interview however, she was determined to turn her life the right side up similar to what Truth (1851) said about the women being able to turn the world. She was determined to go back to work and pursue her own career and not let the societal definitions or her husband’s purported masculinity and manhood hinder her from achieving what she desired and had worked so hard for in school. Her assertiveness is what would make her earn the equality role in her marriage and her life. Conclusion The interview’s outcome shocked me to say the least. I knew that Joyce had given up her work and career to stay at home and care for her children once she became a mother but I had no idea it was not her wish to do so. Her husband made her give up everything and she willingly did so a decision which she regretted and wished to correct before it was too late. Her case is similar to others we only read about in books but never thought they actually happened in real life not with the feminist movement being so widespread. The challenges she faces as a woman are however an eye opener than the feminists need to reach out to such women who have had to give up their work and equality status simply because society dictates that the man is the head and makes all the decisions which should be followed to the letter. Even though such women are aware of the existence of their equality rights, they lack courage to fight for it. They need support, motivation and empowerment to rightfully claim their right and do so without lessening the masculinity of the husbands. References Hooks, B. (1984). “Black Women: Shaping Feminist Theory.” Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center. Boston: South End Press. Stanton, E. (1848). Declaration of Sentiments and Resolutions from the 1848 Seneca Falls Convention. Retrieved from: http://feminism.eserver.org/history/docs/seneca-falls.txt Truth, S. (1851). Ain’t I a Woman? Retrieved from: http://feminism.eserver.org/history/docs/aint-i-a-woman.txt Read More