The Early Signs of Jealousy to Both Gender - Essay Example

Jealousy in Relationships Summary of the Article The Online Dating Magazine published an article en d “Jealousy: The Green-Eyed Monster that Destroys Relationship”. The article was written by Kim Lance, the associate publisher of the Online Dating Magazine. In the article, jealousy was described as creepy, green-eyed monster of one’s thought that may happen at times or frequently. No one can escape the strange feeling of jealousy even those people that are in a serious relationships and everyone tries to deny the fact that they are jealous because it probably uproots from insecurity, detachment, and immaturity (Lance, n.p.). Jealousy may lead to anger, resentment, and low self-esteem of the person experiencing jealousy. Lance identified jealousy as one of the reasons why relationships fail (n.p.). Some couples may find it flattering when their partners get jealous but frequent and irrational jealousy is a threat to the foundation of the relationship. Insecurity of one’s personality trait sparked jealousy. The intensity and duration of relationships determines the degree of negative emotions experienced when break up is encountered. Communication with your partner is an important method to outgrow insecurities. People with insecurities are not aware and confident of their qualities, making them feel that their partner might look someone better and leave them. A partner has valid reasons to get jealous but if they will examine themselves, jealousy arouses from insecurities that they fail to address not just to themselves but to their partners as well. Negative emotions fulfilled one’s thought and feelings and suppression may lead a jealous person to become suspicious, questioning every actions of their partner and constantly needing for their time and attention. People who are jealous will tend to exaggerate things maliciously and thoughts of cheating creeps like a green-eyed monster. Even their partner is innocent and actions to other person are as friendly as they are, they would still feel jealous and misinterpret the actions of their partners. The article addressed preventive measures on how to confront jealousy and overcome insecurities. Opening the lines of communication with their partner will prevent thoughts of cheating from inculcating in the minds of the jealous people. A calm emotion contributes to open communication and will help in telling partners that the reason of anxiousness and insecurity is the love that they feel for them. Open communication can make the partner reaffirm the love they have and the reason for staying together. Problems will be discussed collaboratively and couples will find a time to bond and address feelings of fear and insecurities. Meanwhile, the article also implied that it is the responsibility of a partner to reassure his/her love when initial indications of jealousy are observed. In this way, insecurities, jealousy, and acting out of anger are avoided. The enlightenment stage comes next when jealousy are communicated with their partners. All of the confusions and suspicions are gone for the jealous partners are now able to understand the reason why their partners chose them. Reassurance of love of the significant others offer comfort and will make the partner think that despite imperfections, their partner love them for what they really are and will not look or wait for someone better because of that imperfections. Relationships are just as simple as the love that both partners feel for each other. The key to a strong relationship is the elimination of the negative thoughts such as the thought that your partner might leave you, either for someone better or because of imperfections. Instead, thinking of the reasons why couple’s relationships are stable and satisfying and admitting to one’s self that you are worthy of your partner’s love will strengthen your love. Review of the Article The article about jealousy was presented to the media in a negative way. Although, it was stated in the article that some couples find jealousy a flattering experience, negative presentations of jealousy were deeply emphasized. Knox & Schacht stated that there are also desirable outcomes in jealousy, especially reactive jealousy (p. 67). Jealousy, according to Knox & Schacht, is an indication that your partner cared for you and he/she doesn’t want to lose you. When presenting an article to the media, a complete information of the topic must be presented in order for the reader to vividly create a picture of the topic and enhance their critical thinking. The article did not include any citations or references that would would prove that the article is based from a solid research. The article would have been better if opinions from psychologists or inferences from a related research regarding jealousy were obtained. Citations and references is one of the determinants of a credible article. Without supporting evidences, the article is merely an opinionated or editorial essay. For instance, the book of Knox and Schacht entitled “Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family” introduced studies of 1,319 university students who considered themselves as jealous and interpreted jealousy using statistical analysis. Biased descriptions of jealousy were noted in the article. Jealousy was related to a green-eyed monster and negative aspects of it were emphasized. Aside from the desirable outcomes of jealousy, types, causes, and gender differences must be reiterated for there are types of jealousy that is healthy to the relationship and there are causes of jealousy that are considered rational for both of the parties. Knox & Schacht identified three types of jealousy: reactive, anxious and possessive (p. 66). Of the three types, reactive jealousy is considered healthy and rational form of jealousy as there are valid reasons why a partner gets jealous while anxious and possessive are both possessive form of jealousy wherein in anxious, self-emotional torment is inflicted and in possessive, attack at the partner and alleged person are acted out. The article had provided minimal information compared with the textbook sources. The article indeed, was not as informative as it should be rather, the article is editorial in nature as it encourages the reader to avoid jealousy as much as possible by following the preventive measures the author has stated. Reactive jealousy, insecurities of partners, and preventive measures are what were only discussed in the article. Other types and causes of jealousy were not reiterated as well as other coping strategies. The article recommends the reader to address signs of jealousy as early as possible but did not include signs to observed on both gender. Knox & Schacht described the external sources of jealousy as behaviors that demonstrate either showing emotional/sexual interest to someone or lack of emotional/sexual interest to the partner while internal causes include mistrust, low self-esteem, anxiety, lack of perceived alternatives, and insecurity (p. 66). In the article, only insecuties were addressed informatively. The completeness of the article matters most to the readers. Information presented may have influenced the reader in a positive or a negative way. It is considered biased to the relationship if writer only identify insecurities as source of jealousy. If that is so, every couple who experienced jealousy will interpret these as a sign of insecurity. In line with this, other internal causes of jealousy, as described by Knox & Schacht, must also be described and addressed. For instance, mistrust in a relationship often results to jealousy because a partner has a previous record of cheating that his/her partner may be suspicious and jealous at most times; low self-esteem may contribute to insecurities as one doesn’t recognized his/her worth as a person and may find difficulty to believe that he/she was worthy of his/her partner’s love; anxiety contributes directly to jealousy; and lack of perceived alternatives make a pereson jealous because of the fear that he/she might not find another person to turn to if he/she doesn’t keep the realtionship (Knox & Schacht, p. 66). To prevent the occurrence of jealousy, one must recognize the early signs of jealousy to both gender. This is the information that was left out by the article writer. For instance, women who are jealous tend to eat more and and turn to friend when they are jealous while men drink alcohol or used drugs when confronted with jealousy (Knox & Schacht, p. 67). The article has provided good information on resolving and confronting jealousy by both partners. In addtion to the measures stated in the article, reducing the amount of stress will significantly help in reducing instances of jealousy. In general, information presented in the article are inconsistent with the textbook information. However, the article could have been more effective if weaknesses in terms of biases, credibility, and completeness of information were addressed. Works Cited Knox, D. & Schacht, C. Love. Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family (10th ed.) (p. 43-75). California: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning, 2010. Lance, K. "Jealousy: The Green-Eyed Monster that Destroys Relationships." Online Dating Magazine. Retrieved on September 25, 2011 from http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/columns/connect/05 jealousydestroysrelationships.html 2010. Read More