Response on Sexuality Identity - Personal Statement Example

 Personal Response on Sexual Identity Introduction It is an undeniable fact that the sexuality of a person is the sum total of the biological, social, cultural and ethical environment that surrounds him/her. To illustrate, while the people in the west possess a liberal attitude towards sex and those in Africa still having no ideologies about sex as it is nothing more than the feeling of hunger for them, in many parts of Asia, the word ‘sex’ itself is considered something forbidden, thus revealing a narrow-minded outlook. So, it is very clear that the people from these different geographical areas will have totally different notions about sex. I too, being a product of the western society had a broad outlook about sex from the very beginning, though this course has, I think, made me think more critically in sexual decisions. Social factors that have a bearing on my sexuality According to the western, especially American concept of sexuality that prevails among the youth, sex is more of a recreational activity that does not have any connection with morality. It is a male dominated society where the ability to lure as many women as possible is considered a way to prove ones maleness. For females, the credibility lies in the ability to hook a man to ones armpits. The role of media cannot be denied in this social situation. According to reports, 8 out of 10 prime-time shows in America have sexual content; thus making sex a very common thing among the youth, having no emotional or ethical value (Dykeman, Duncan, Irvin, King, n. d.). The liberal view of the society I live in about sex is evident from the result of a survey. As per the survey, nearly 90% Americans believe that boys and girls will not wait until marriage to have sex; and only about 17% people were against oral sex and even they had serious doubts about the achievability of their expectations (NPR/Kaiser/Kennedy School Poll, n.d.). Thus, I found sex as a privilege to be enjoyed since adolescence, though I had little discussion with my parents about sex. Despite the liberal attitude towards sex, I would admit, it seems difficult to have open discussions with parents. In fact, my ideas about sex are all collected from friends and the media. I think it is the social freedom we people enjoy that makes sex very possible everywhere. I know there are countries where people seldom go to clubs, or are strictly under the supervision of the parents. However, being the product of an industrialized society, my parents never put a lot of pressure on me to reveal where I am going and who I am meeting. I think it is common for the youth in my country to have this freedom and as a result I had a well defined sexuality since the very beginning of my adolescence which was highly liberal in nature. Even when I got married, I would admit, I did not think that marriage was in no way going to affect my sexual relations. My perceptions on sex and the role of critical thinking Frankly speaking, I never thought of the role of ethics in sex. Though at times I read here and there about the issues associated with plurality in sex and the advantages of having a single sex partner, it seemed a rather impossible proposition in the society I live in, especially because of the lack of emotional attachment the sexual partners posses to each other. In the society I live in, there has been a gradual deviation from the traditional concept of sex as associated with marriage. Being in a society where sex is in no way connected to wedlock and childbirth, and hence not binding, I, like any other young person in the country, prefer to view sex as a physical need; the result of hormonal changes that needs to be quenched irrespective of marital status. In fact, I had adequate knowledge about STD from media but in my own case, I was not so serious about the diseases. The attitude, like any other youngster of my age, was ‘this won’t happen to me’, but now I think I am about to change. Though I live in a society that allows sex with many, I am the kind of person who prefers to have sex with a single person. To my mind, sex should be satisfying to both the partners and hence, I always make sure that my partner gets satisfaction. In my opinion, sex is not simply about penetration, but, more important is the unity of mind and the harmony. So, to my mind, any activity that gives sexual pleasure and that does not offend the partner is acceptable in sex. In fact, I am totally against homosexuality that is getting popularity among the youth these days. I only like it with the opposite sex. If I tell you the beginning, it was based more on irrational thinking due to the rush of hormone than on sane mind. My partner was equally immature too. At the frenzy of the moment, we did not even think about contraceptives nor did we find them a necessity, probably due to the social circumstances that nod approval to coitus in the name of individual freedom. However, later on, I became more aware about the issues involved. In fact, there were two faces of my romance. On the one hand, I was attracted towards guys who pull the crowd with great bodies and the purpose was only sexual gratification. Hence, the relations were like air bubbles with the interest in the partner totally disappearing after sex. Other times, I used to think more seriously and more than physical intimacy, I wanted to have deep intimacy that values the feelings of the partner and giving more importance to love than to lust. I am saddened by the fact that most guys and girls here are not willing to remain hooked to a single one and hence, there is no point in believing that the guy you dig will remain with for you for long. I think the marital relations in the States are failures because most of the time, due to the freedom provided, what people extend to their partners is an ‘if’ kind of love. In such cases, according to Toyotome (1961, p. 14) even a minor variation from the partner is considered a huge failure to meet the expectations of the partner and soon there is a break up. This conditional love is the reason behind the short-living relations in the States. However, in my opinion, in such situations too, males are the winners as the children born out of the co-habitation remain with their mothers most of the time. Thus, I would like to point out that though the females in America enjoy the freedom of having sex over a relatively short period of time, they are being forced to bear the burden of that for the remaining part of their lives while males are leading a free bird life. I would rather term my relation anxious-ambivalent in nature. I always have a feeling that my partner is not so close to me as I myself would have liked. My tendency is to give everything and I believe in altruistic love. However, the prevailing social situations are full of potholes where people rarely seem interested in limiting their horizons. It seems rather impossible for people to have sex only with their partners and if I tell so to my husband, the reply will be totally of disbelief. For me, sex comes from emotional attachment, closeness and the feeling of security. Though I too enjoy having sex for sexual gratification, I am well aware about its worthlessness in the long term. The development of my sexuality; the role of biological factors Now it seems possible to look into sexuality from a biological point of view. It is rather a new insight for me to know why females tend to decorate their bodies and show off their sensitive areas in a seductive way. In fact, it is very common among most animals with relatively larger brain to exhibit their receptiveness to sexual advances from males. According to Anne Bolin and Whelehan (2009, p.52), it is common for several primate species like chimpanzees to show their sexual readiness, especially when there is a higher possibility of ovulation. In addition, it seems rather common for females to have jealousy towards other females as is evidently seen in the US culture where one female can chase the man of another woman. In addition, I, like any other female, prefer to have a male with wealth while, to my knowledge, males are more interested in good looking females. So, I think my sexuality is the result of the biological features visible in all females. However, the existing social circumstances force a change of partner very often as males of social influence and money are always chased by females. I live in a society where sex is everything. Everyone is trying to put on the sexiest possible look. Thus, in my society physical appearance is very important and the purpose of dress is not to cover nakedness, but to reveal it in the most seductive way. Thus, I never found anyone who comes to me because of my nature, but it was physical look that mattered. Without a reasonably good look that attracts men, a woman loses her identity in the society. Changes in the outlook brought about by the course The course brought about a lot of changers in my thinking about sex. The first one is the awareness about the seriousness of sexually transmitted diseases. Though I had some idea about it even before the course, admittedly, I was not so serious about it, and hence, was not so careful in selecting sexual partners. My theory was to have it anytime I want and with anyone I like. Now, I think I will not be able to do blindly. I am well aware about the implications of an uncontrolled sex life. I fully understand the need to have limited sex life. In addition, I think I will certainly go for a single partner and in case of deviation too, I will use safety measures like condom. I admit the fact that the liberal sex ideology in my society is responsible for deterioration in the society, especially in the concept of family. This course certainly helped me understand the benefit of being loyal to the single life partner and how it will be beneficial for the family and especially for the children out of the relation. Thus, I think this course has helped me enormously in leading a healthy family life and to have a good sexual life with my husband based on open discussion and understanding. Sexual dysfunction The part on sexual dysfunctions is especially effective for people to understand their sexuality and to analyze their or their partner’s problems if any. The large number of problems and their treatment mentioned will certainly help enjoy a mutually satisfying relationship. For example, the guy with whom I had my first sex had very serious problem engaging in sex. At first I could not understand the situation. Though he seemed very much interested in me and eager to have physical intimacy with me, when it came to intercourse, I found him withdrawing on baseless reasons. He had serious problem in erection and even during sex, he did not like getting undressed adding to my embarrassment. I found it a kind of oppressive behavior and was totally confused about it. However, later on I understood that he only had a single testis. Though it did not cause any problem in his erection and performance, it caused serious problems in his attitude. It seemed like lack of sexual desire at first but the reason was totally different. Though I tried to encourage him, there was little effect of my support and soon he left me. This course provided a lot more knowledge about different sexual dysfunctions, mindsets and methods that will help improve relations. So, I think, in future, I will have a better sex life that understands the social, biological and cultural factors behind it. In addition, I will be able to analyze the behavior of others with a better insight, to have safer and more enjoyable sex and not to forget the productive purpose of sex. References Bolin, A & Whelehan, P. (2009). Human sexuality: Biological, psychological and cultural perspectives. NY: Routledge. Dykeman, K. Duncan, D., Irvin, K & King. A. (n.d.). ‘Perceptions of Sexuality in American Culture’. Future Leaders Summit. Retrieved 11 Feb 2011 from http://org.elon.edu/summit/essays/essay9.pdf NPR/Kaiser/Kennedy School Poll, ‘Sex Education in America’. Harvard University. Retrieved 11 Feb 2011 from http://www.kff.org/newsmedia/upload/Sex-Education-in-America-Summary.pdf Toyotome, M. (1961). Three Kinds of Love. US: Intervarsity Press. Read More