The Development of an Individuals Sexuality Imposed by Stereotypical Conduct and Instincts - Research Paper Example

Human sexuality is the way people experience and express themselves as sexual beings. Several factors help develop human sexuality, with one of the most important one being gender. The development of an individual’s sexuality will be mainly influenced by whether one is biologically a female or a male. Always driven by the desire to have sexual pleasure, human sexuality has physical, biological and emotional aspects. Sexuality also, covers cultural, legal, philosophical and political aspects. It may also refer to issues of ethics, spirituality, morality, religion and theology and how they relate to anything sexual. Whereas, in animals, sexuality is simply imposed by stereotypical conduct and instincts, in humans, sexuality is influenced by superior mental activity and cultural, social, normative and educational characteristics of those places where they grows up and their personality develops. This article discusses sexuality as noted from various sources and how I personally view it. 1. Sexuality has several benefits derived from it. It is one of the important gifts given to man upon his creation. Its importance can be seen in how Adam expressed his feelings when he first saw his sexual partner, Eve as stated in the Bible’s Genesis. It was a special feeling expressed by a sigh of relief of a kind. Apart from sexual satisfaction, sexuality is a means of producing children who complement the lives of their parents in a special way by freely offering their affection and ensuring the continuity of their lineage. Sex also has a wide range of health benefits, like increasing immunity through increased immunoglobulin A, offering relief from stress, reducing risk of prostate cancer and heart attacks and leading to sounder sleep as has been proved by research. 2. Positive sexuality evokes wonderful feelings, insight and thoughts in me. Because it enables me to view sex as a very important tool that is present for me to enjoy and use, to get a partner who will make me complete, to be a remedy to stress and several illnesses and to generally get the fullness of life in this stressful and tiring life of the world. 3. Secular media has often portrayed sex as something of great value; one that every “normal” human being should get or be involved in. A lot of emphasis has been put on sexual attraction and attractiveness especially in movies, ads, articles and television broadcasts. This is aimed at capturing viewers’ attention as women are portrayed as sexual objects. Sexuality has been used by many people in several negative ways that has made it look dreadful and is perceived as a wicked indulgence. God purposed heterosexuality: i.e. sexual intercourse is to take place between two married opposite sexes – one male and the other female. But today, we have polygamy and polyandry whose result is unfaithfulness and strife in families. It has not stopped at that, but sexual indulgence has advanced to homosexuality (gayism and lesbianism) and autoerotic sexuality (Walen & Roth, 345). On the other hand, auto-sexuality, also known as autoeroticism, is sexual activity that does not involve another person as a partner. It can involve masturbation, while paraphilias require a partner. Many people use sybian machines, dildos, anal beads, vibrators and other sex toys while alone. These are unethical according to my religious belief and scientifically we are using our body faculties for the purpose for which they were not intended (Johansson, 1182). All these modes of sexuality pose severe injury or even death to those who engage in them in some cases. In addition, another negative image of sexuality is coercive and abusive sexuality. This particular sexual activity encompasses sexual abuse – that is sexuality is used in coercive or abusive ways. Examples include child sexual abuse, rape and lust murder. This has made the victims of such ills suffer illnesses - mental, physical and psychological torment – and in many cases it can lead to death. Sexual abuse of individuals is prohibited by law and is against the norms of society. Sexuality can make one contract Sexually Transmitted Diseases some (STDs) of which some are deadly like HIV AIDS. The negative image of sexuality is ‘long’ and ‘wide.’ 4. Negative image of sexuality evokes negative feelings, insight and judgment in me. The perception of people using sexuality which is a very precious and healthy gift in a way that is abominable makes me regard the people who abuse sexuality as lesser beings. For some of the things that they do are not heard of even in the animal kingdom. The negative use of sexuality can be construed as a slap on the face of the Creator because they are not in line with the will of God as depicted in the biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Terrible diseases, deaths and moral decadence have been the result of many of the above unfortunate acts. 5. My judgment on the negative image of sexuality has largely affected the way in which I strive to lead my life sexually. It has caused me to worry about most of the forms of sexuality, hence, causing me to carefully search for the right one and adhere to it under all circumstances. I have also rejected relations with the perpetuators of negative sexuality for fear of their influence on me and hate of the vice. Paschal Mystery and Life Passages 1. After completing my military service in the Marine Corps of the Republic of Korea in 2005, I decided I wanted to go abroad to study. This would prove to be a challenging experience for me, helping to enhance my experiences and knowledge; therefore, I decided to come to the United States for my studies. A little while after I started my studies in the United States, I received a phone call from my brother, informing me that my father was seriously ill. I was really surprised to hear that as he was a healthy man and did not fall ill often. However, I knew something serious was going on, as otherwise my brother would not have called to tell me about it. Therefore, even though my family tried to hide his condition from me, I decided to go back to Korea to be with him. Upon reaching there, I discovered that my father had been admitted to the hospital; he had acute interstitial pneumonia. Without a cause or a cure, this disease is terminal; my father was going to die because of it, and there was nothing anyone could do. When I walked into his hospital room, I saw that he could not talk, as he had a respirator attached to his neck, however, he was conscious and lucid. I remember vividly the expression in his eyes, which asked me “why are you here?” I simply told him “I want to be with you because I am worried about you.” We never talked again; he was put into a drug induced coma soon thereafter, and died two weeks later. All of my family was devastated; we lost someone very dear to us and would never be with him again. My family felt we lost everything. 2. This transition, of becoming an orphan in essence, was a passage for me; I lost my father forever. I had to let go of the idea of having a father who would always be there to guide me and talk to me and love me unconditionally. I had to let go of my childhood as well, as now I was the eldest male in my family – Korean society has a very defined patriarchal system. I was no longer the eldest child of the family; without my father’s presence, I was the one who the family would look up to – the one responsible to take care of the family. In essence, I ended up losing both my father and my childhood. 3. In the beginning, I was in a state of shock. I could not believe that I had lost my father. There were times, when I heard something that would interest my father that I would instantly think of sharing it with him, only to realize a second later that he had died – gone away from me forever. I was unsure what to do about the feeling of loss, and how to get over feeling lost. This feeling lasted for two or three months. There were a lot of uncertain moments, emotionally, when I simply did not know what to feel; I did not know if I should mourn my father, celebrate his life, or just simply let go. I was completely numb during this time. 4. My family and friends were very supportive during this time. Actually, all of us in the family supported each other and helped each other to cope with the loss. As is the case of all societies, families and loved ones come together in times of grief and loss, not only to share the burden, but to lessen it as well. I finally came to the conclusion that like all other human beings in this world, my father too had to die. He lived with us and gave us love and happiness, but like all things this had to come to an end. By accepting my father’s mortality and coming to terms with his death, I finally concluded the passage. I accepted the death of my father, and knew that I had to mourn his loss as well as celebrate the life he lived amongst us by cherishing the memories and by passing on his legacy to my younger siblings. 5. There was no spiritual growth in it for me, that is if spiritual growth is taken as religious lessons, or a lean towards a religious explanation for the incident. In fact, the incident made me suspect the existence of God altogether. I cannot speak for my family, but as far as I am concerned, I did not, and still do not, sense God at work in this event. Whether it was my father’s death, or my acceptance thereof, there was no religious explanation for me in it; I do not consider God or religion has much to say here. However, I did find an inner strength within myself that was not there before; when I accepted my father’s death, I felt stronger and somehow capable of overcoming it. I did not know what God had to do with my father’s death and what lessons He wanted me to learn from it – in fact, I still do not know that. All I know is that it was I, who had dealt with all the problems and it was again my inner self that came to my rescue. 6. I had to let go of my father, and in that process I became aware of the mortality that all of us face every day of our lives. For me that was the grace of this passage; I have to let go of the part of myself that yearns for my father, and the acceptance thereof is a grace in itself. Now I have a better understanding of mortality. Ironic as it seems, the maturity that came to me as a consequence of my father’s death is a blessing in itself. 7. I was surprised at how calm I felt when I eventually “let go”. This incident affected me enough to realize that life is short and that all of us die some day, therefore, I have to make the best of what I have today, and not wait for tomorrow. This is something that I have been hearing people around me say all the time, but for the first time I felt it personally, and it did amaze me how my outlook on life has changed because of it. I have become more involved in community work and want to give back more to the world. Not only that, I have even started living each day to its fullest. This does not mean that I have become a foolhardy chance taker, rather, I just have a realization that life is precious and should be cherished as much as possible. Generativity 1. When my father passed away a few years ago, I realized for the first time, on a personal level, just how fleeting our life is. It was then that I decided to be generative; I decided that I needed to spend more time with my younger brother. I had been close to him before as well, but now I felt the need to pass on the wisdom I had learnt from my father to him, to ensure that he would grow up to be a responsible and sensitive young man, who cares about those around him and the world in general. The ethical education that my father had instilled in me, I felt, needed to pass on to my younger brother too. I felt, and still feel, that as my brother did not have a father to look up to, I had to come through for him and be someone he could rely on and look up to. I decided to help him attain wisdom, the way my father taught me. 2. This decision made me feel quite happy. The fact is that I felt that I had made the right decision in this regard. I think that there are many of us, who do not pass our legacy down in matters where it is required, therefore, my decision made me feel as if I was doing right, both by myself and by my brother. The task that I had taken on made me feel more responsible: both accountable and mature. What is more, this engendered a very positive change in my attitude towards life in general and my brother in specific. Interestingly enough, this also gave me a morale boost; altruism also gives personal gains, I suppose. Altruistic though it may be, my decision did come with happiness for me 3. Connected to the situation before, I chose not to be generative when my mother, on seeing my renewed relationship with my brother, asked me to pass on some religious teachings and beliefs to him. I decided not to engage myself with generativity here, as I did not want to pass on my religious beliefs to my brother, or to the next generation. I hold that religion is something very personal and each of us should come to hold beliefs that are true to them and not follow someone else’s beliefs or be taught by someone else about what to believe and what not to. It may not be in line with what my generativity impelled me to do with regard to passing on my father’s wisdom to my brother; however, I felt that in this regard it would be best not to be generative. 4. I was under the impression that deciding not be generative would either make one feel useless or guilty; however, upon examining my own decision to abstain from generativity, I did not feel any such emotions. On the contrary, I felt really glad that I had stood up for my own beliefs, even if it meant, especially in the eyes of my mother, that I will not be generative and would be selfish. However, unlike my decision to be generative, I did feel a little bit doubtful. I had to ask myself repeatedly if what I was doing was the right thing to do, and if I should take a firm stand on this. I felt I needed to find some reassurance, even if it came from my own thoughts, before I could really feel comfortable with my decision. Though once I had come to terms with it and made a resolve in this regard, my decision not to be generative made me feel peaceful 5. I have achieved quite a lot for a person my age, and I feel it is now my duty to give back to the world in any way I can. I feel there is much need for me to be involved in community work and to help those who do not have a lot of worldly possessions or those who are unfortunate; those who have not been blessed as I have been. For now, it seems clear to me that I need to get involved in helping such people and give back to the community. I will do this by volunteering for various organizations that help homeless people. I will go about this by looking for organizations that are involved with helping the homeless; I will further research to see which ones also take up volunteers to help them in their cause. Then, I will choose one or two organizations that are located nearby and ask them to put my name down as a volunteer. Whether it is soup kitchens or helping to build houses, I am sure I can be involved in projects to help the homeless, and, thus, be more generative. In conclusion, by writing this paper I got a glimpse into my life – my past experiences and my future aspirations, as well as my present outlook on life. Not only did I think about myself, but about my family as well as other people around the world. I feel this paper offered me great insight into my own self. After losing my father, I lost a part of myself that I can never regain, I tried to block out the memory of his death, however, by writing down my experiences and how I dealt with them and what I learnt from them, I have come to realize that it is easier for me, emotionally and psychologically, to accept the facts as they are and to move on. This process, in turn, would make me a better person – someone who loves to be alive and who wants to share the feeling with others. Works Cited Johansson, Warren. "Sex Negative, Sex Positive" In: Dynes WR (ed) Encyclopedia of Homosexuality (1182–1183). New York: Garland. 1990 Walen, S. R., & Roth, D. “A cognitive approach” in J. H. Geer & W. T. O'Donohue (Eds.), Theories of Human Sexuality (pp.335-362). New York: Plenum Press. (1987) Read More