The Evolution and Understanding of Marriage within an Ethnic Framework - Essay Example

Section/# The Evolution and Understanding of Marriage within an Ethnic Framework Groucho Marx once quipped “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Marriage has been a socially recognized union between individuals of the opposite sex that commit to one another with the expectations of a stable, lasting intimate relationship. A marital relationship usually involves some kind of contract, either written or specified by tradition, which defines the partners’ rights and obligations to each other, to any children they may have, and to their relatives. There are many benefits to being a part of this great institution, and a revamping of the marriage law could be an asset in the improvement of our culture, economy and health. Whereas it can be argued that many aspects of society are required to evolve and grow with the times, the rate and extent to which marriage is able to do this is of the utmost importance as it is one of the most basic traditions and helps to establish one of the most fundamental aspects of modern society. As a function of seeking to understanding and define this institution in the light of the current era, with regards to how much or how little the institution of marriage has been able to evolve with the times, it will be the hope of this author that such an analysis will be capable of presenting a functioning and well argued piece of research into this topic so that the reader might come to a more informed understanding of societal evolution and growth with regards to this most fundamental of traditional societal demarcations. Yet, the understanding and definition of this institution cannot be totally and entirely divorced from the cultural and/or ethnic interpretation. Whereas it is difficult to integrate a level of understanding concerning marriage based upon ethnic or cultural interpretations without running the risk of broadly generalizing or stereotyping, this brief analysis will integrate the reader with an understanding of some of the core differentials that exists with regards to the institution of marriage as compared to the Latino, African American, Asian-American, Pacific American, Middle-Eastern-American, and white communities within the United States. With regards to the white ethnic or cultural interpretation of marriage, there can be no denying that the culture of marriage has changed. The cozy imagery of the perfect marriage, as exhibited by the now-comical television shows of the early 1960s and late 1950s have long since faded from memory. Fairy tales with stories of love- ever- after were, and to a large part still are, what children are raised on. Within the not so distant past, little girls dreamed of the knight in shining armor, or being brought back to life by a simple kiss from a Prince (Vincent 72). When the movie, “Love Story”, first appeared society was still extremely absorbed in a marriage culture that encouraged and supported getting and staying married until the end of one’s days. Within a few years, the women's movement, the pill, the sexual revolution, and various economic shifts had permanently transformed that marriage-centric society. Formerly, a marriage contract gave the man ownership over the wife with a right to sex (Edgar 582). This traditional and chauvinist approach to marriage can largely be understood to be derived from religious traditions (Real 43). Whether one ascribes to any of the major world religions, each and every one of them places the wife in a form of subjugation to the husband and even likens her in some instances to property to be owned, beaten, or managed as the husband (owner) might feel appropriate. In such a way, it can be somewhat clear why traditional definitions of marriage have changed so little over the past several centuries; partly due to the fact that religion has had a powerful role in defining a certain type of normative behavior for entire societies. By means of comparison, the Middle-Eastern definition and cultural understanding of marriage is oftentimes entirely concentric upon the childbearing process. As such, sex was deemed as an expectation for marriage and should be held in utter contempt if engaged in outside of marriage. Moreover, within the traditional interpretation of marriage, practiced throughout so many of these past centuries, without consummation a marriage may be terminated (Smith 6). Although it would take many subsequent generations for this traditional interpretation of marriage to slowly fade, there are still strong elements of the sole purpose for marriage being an institution in which a family can and should be created within the Middle-Eastern cultural paradigm (Saadat et al. 265). With respect to the Asian-American interpretation, it can readily be noted that within the past several decades, powerful changes with regards to a woman’s biological function have also helped to redefine marriage. The legalization of contraceptives and abortion has had a massive impact with regards to this demographic group as it has given women rights to their bodies and took it out of their husband’s control. This in turn has allowed women to have a degree of say so with regards to whether or not they would be confined to take care of children or whether they would engage in the workforce in seeking to become equal wage-earners with their husbands (Qian et al. 656). Cultural changes of Asian-American matrimony are also pronounced in the equalizing, not only respective rights, but also the duties of wives and husbands. The legal contract was once made to have men provide for women. With more women in the work force, and dual incomes, that responsibility no longer lies on one party. Child rearing is no longer the wife’s duties but a joint venture (Smith 5). By the very same token, it can be understood that society has traditionally expected women to keep the home and take care of the children. However, even a cursory review of the current situation within the United States exhibits a high number of stay at home dads, combined with a much higher number of working mothers that rely on such institutions as child care to provide for the needs of their children. The cultural or ethnic view of marriage with respect to African Americans is one that has grown and evolved a great deal over the years. More often than not, household duties and financial responsibilities are understood as a mutually share burden; as compared to one that was previously meant only for the wife as the husband’s sole task was to engage with the workforce and earn money. The previous interpretation of the gender differences assigned in marriage were to provide structural support; mostly with the male dominating over the woman. When women, participating in larger historical trends toward greater equality, began to tire of their traditional roles and change them, both sides of the relationship were displaced and sought out a new equilibrium (Smith 5). The patterns of family life which many African Americans look back upon with nostalgia, people marrying soon out of high school or the stay at home mom, now seem both unrealistic and idyllic. Gone are the days when a parent, fresh from school, can support a family alone (Trimberger 85). Many African American women do not want to be put into situations where they have responsibilities that completely undermine their careers and abilities. According to psychotherapist June Lawton, “Cinderella is a victim - but only because she is playing the role of the victim”. Cinderella has become an example of what not to become. For social conservatives, these shifts in roles have compromised the very foundation of marriage. One might beg the question of what foundations they are speaking of - the one where women were dependent on men, the one where women were property, the one where women were meant to procreate, the one where cohabitating was a mortal sin, and do they mean loving a person of the same sex does not procreate, so therefore it is wrong. Perhaps these individuals are instead focused upon determining when such idyllic terms such as “love”, “honor”, and “loyalty” were lost. However, for most individuals within current society, divorce is no longer seen as a great taboo (Ahern 186). In short, change is inevitable and as such, cultural tolerance should be held as a virtue. It remains true that people look for romantic and intimate bonds in marriage, however couples today have more reasonable expectations (Schmidt 263). This change in expectation is yet another evidence of the means by which the institution of marriage has evolved and morphed over the years. For instance, the demands that dual careers place on many Latino-Americans tend to force difficult decisions about the growing roles of the two partners. Current society is full of economic benefits for people who are married. These include but are not limited to social security benefits, health insurance benefits, 401(k)s, survivorship to pensions and estate taxes (Ambrose 1). These benefits are not available to non-married couples. However, within a very large sector of undocumented works within the United States, marriage is a meaningless institution as it does not provide any level of legal rights or benefits that the individuals can accrue; making the institution of marriage within the Latino American communities one that runs the greatest risk of being diminished over time and possibly even being phased out (Winarnita 381). With marriage laws extended to protect cohabitants and same sex marriages, the economy would be stimulated by more disposable income in the hands of more stakeholders. As such, this is ultimately the theory of the trickle-down effect. Social conservatives blame divorce, cohabitation, illegitimacy, and the demise of the traditional family for society's ills; from poverty, crime, and juvenile delinquency, to the moral decay and destruction of the American way of life. Yet, they seem unwilling to realize that opening up this rather archaic institution to the realities of our time can greatly benefit a great number of societal stakeholders. Individuals from a Pacific American background are perhaps most impacted with regards to diverse family patterns. People can cohabit without great social disapproval. They can live in multigenerational families. There are scenes of group living, gay unions, and civil unions. There are a greater variety of household forms that are approved and accepted, or at least tolerated, than at any other time. At the same time there are some very strong voices appreciating conventional, traditional marriage. The marriage rate is much higher among people of higher socioeconomic and educational levels, and it's especially low among those without the same opportunities. People may no longer need to marry for economic security, but they do seem to need economic security to marry. When the right of matrimony is equally available to all, perhaps the public institution of marriage will gain in strength and meaning. The health benefits of being in a loving married relationship are now part of scientific research. The benefit to American society could be lower health care costs and more able bodied and productive people. An accepting society in general, is a healthier society; perhaps reducing depression, bullying and many other current issues that plague our time. According to an article in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology “. . . marriage appears to reduce the risk of heart attacks for both men and women…unmarried men were 58-66 percent more likely to have a heart attack, and single women were 60–65 percent more likely”(Vibrant Life 1). People have needs that must be satisfied if they are to be happy. These needs are not just a matter of taste - they are built into our nature. They are universal and change little from one person or culture to the next. One universal feature of human existence is the need for a relationship. Humans are social creatures; as such, they are inclined to seek out loving unity with other person. Our need for unity is extreme, and it is not easily satisfied. It insists on a thoughtful relationship. But relationships come in different intensities, different degrees of significance, and different depths of satisfaction, looking for that relationship that is intense enough to satisfy the deepest needs of our souls. It cannot be the work of a committee. Not everyone is meant to be married, but most individuals have the desire for a deep relationship. To obtain the greatest satisfaction, one must build a special relationship with one other person. Couples in a satisfying marriage will continue to intensify their union which grows over time. New research has shown that “Overall, we find compelling evidence that marriage improves the odds of engaging in positive behaviors (including physical activity, eating breakfast, wearing seat belts, and not smoking)” (Schone-Steinber 38). The mature union achieved by people who have been married for years does not happen overnight. It develops between them, as each is free to reveal his or her true self; and to find that true self accepted and loved. It requires a lot of confidence to risk self-revelation but the end results may be a healthier mind and body. However, all of this being stated, the fact of the matter is that the human need alone for unity and relationship does not mean that the institution of marriage has or should remain unchanged. Rather, it merely helps to define and constrain the debate based upon its main determinant needs. The transformation of marriage uses and customs is a consequence of the history of man. It is not something static or invariable, but is in a constant process of development. Many people fail at marriage. “In the United States, almost 50% of first marriages and more than 60% of second marriages end in divorce (Avins 2). However, from the review that is thus far been provided, an understanding of marriage based upon an and ethnic approach the lens one to believe that it is the African American definition of marriage and expectation that necessarily creates the greatest level of rights and privileges for women. Although it is true that the Caucasian definition and understanding of the institution of marriage also is a close runner up, the differential that exists between these two cultures is with regards to the fact that within the white culture, women are not necessarily expected or encouraged to work outside the home. Ultimately, this decision is of course a woman’s choice; however, within the African-American community, this choice is taken more for granted and not extended upon a situational basis. Such an ethnic delineation an understanding of the institution of marriage can partially be understood with regards to the culture of the United States and the way in which new immigrants and new societal stakeholders help to define, redefined, and integrate with the existing culture. Oftentimes, individuals from more conservative cultural backgrounds find themselves shocked with the level of liberalism and diversity that is currently exhibited within the United States. However, subsequent generations do not experience such a great degree of shock and instead integrate with the norms and mores of the culture itself. In such a way, an understanding of this particular fact helps to shed a level of light with regards to the way in which a decreasing differential between ethnic and/or cultural norms continues to be evidenced with respect to the institution of marriage. As such, it is not unrealistic to assume that within the next several decades a smaller and smaller differential between these groups will be able to be noted. Works Cited Ahern, Frank M., et al. "Personality Attributes Of Males And Females Marrying Within Vs. Across Racial/Ethnic Groups." Behavior Genetics 11.3 (1981): 181-194. PsycINFO. Web. 25 Nov. 2013. Ambrose, Eileen. “The Financial Benefits of Being Married.” Buffalo News 17 Jan. 2011. ProQuest Central. Web. 23 July 2013. Avins, Mimi. “CULTURE; Marriage in the Third Degree; Attitudes about People Marrying After Two Divorces are Moving from Taboo to ‘I do.’.” Los Angeles Times: 0. 09 Feb. 2003. ProQuest Central. Web. 23 July 2013. Edgar, Adrienne Lynn. "Marriage, Modernity, And The 'Friendship Of Nations': Interethnic Intimacy In Post-War Central Asia In Comparative Perspective." Central Asian Survey 26.4 (2007): 581-599. Academic Search Complete. Web. 25 Nov. 2013. Qian, Zhenchao, Jennifer Glick, and Christie Batson. "Crossing Boundaries: Nativity, Ethnicity, And Mate Selection." Demography49.2 (2012): 651-675. Business Source Complete. Web. 25 Nov. 2013. Real, Terrence. The new rules of marriage : what you need to know to make love work. New York: Ballantine Books, 2008. Print. Saadat, M., M. Ansari-Lari, and D. D. Farhud. "Short Report." Annals Of Human Biology 31.2 (2004): 263-269. Academic Search Complete. Web. 25 Nov. 2013. Schone-Steinber,Barbara, and Robin M Weinick. “Health Related Behaviors and the Benefits of Marriage for Elderly Persons.” The Gerontologist. Oct. 1998. 38,5. ProQuest Central. 23 July 2013. Schmidt, Garbi. "Law And Identity: Transnational Arranged Marriages And The Boundaries Of Danishness." Journal Of Ethnic & Migration Studies 37.2 (2011): 257-275. Academic Search Complete. Web. 25 Nov. 2013. Smith, Ian. “The Foundations of Marriage: Are They Crumbling?” International Journal of Social Economics. (2004): 31,5/6. ProQuest Central. Web. 23 July 2013. Trimberger, E Kay, and Arlene Skolnick. “Further Beyond the “M” Word.” Dissent. Spring 2007. ProQuest Central. Web. 23 July 2013. Vincent, Nora. "Last Word: What is this Thing Called Love? True Love, Even Romantic Love, is what You do, Not what You Feel. and so Marriage is a Promise, Not a Flourish." The Advocate Dec 19 2000: 72. ProQuest. Web. 23 July 2013 . Winarnita, Monika, and Nicholas Herriman. "Caring And Family." Indonesia & The Malay World 40.118 (2012): 372-387. Academic Search Complete. Web. 25 Nov. 2013. “Your Heart Loves Marriage.” Vibrant Life 29.4 July-Aug. 2013. Nursing Resource Center Gale.Web. 23 July 2013. Read More