Whos Cheap by Adair Lara - Article Example

Money Matters Who’s Cheap is an interesting article by Adair Lara, who writes about a skirmish out of the eternal battle of the sexes. In her article, she argues whether paying lies in the male domain, citing examples from her own life as well as her friends’ experiences. Lara says that some traits are sex specific in how offensive they are. To support this, she offers that just as swearing and getting drunk is unpleasant when done by females, stinginess coming from a man, from a female’s perspective is extremely unpleasant. I agree with the author though I would like to add that out of place cheapness is unbecoming on anyone, be they male or female. However, Lara’s argument is very balanced and engaging. She starts off the article by recounting her second date with a guy who came across as cheap to the author when he didn’t offer to help pay for gas. She stated that he was “as cheap as a two-dollar watch” (Adair, 68). Her response in my opinion is justified – anyone including myself in her position would be appalled. I remember that once, while I had some financial constraints, I did not pay my share of the bill with old friends, and despite knowing me, I got labeled as the cheap guy. Lara says that this reaction is commonly found amongst women. Yet they do not elicit the same reaction as males do. She wonders why this double standard still continues. She then states her main point of some traits being gender specific when it comes to distaste towards them. She particularly says that “men are beneath contempt when they are cheap” (Adair 68). I wholeheartedly agree with her on this point. Being a male, I have to constantly be careful in social situations, as men are quickly termed cheap, whereas my sister does not have to put in the same effort. She does say that despite women making as much and sometimes more than their male counterparts, it is usually considered ‘proper’ for a man to pick the check in a restaurant as well as offering to pay whenever the occasion arises. She does not actually state it as such up to this point in the article that what she really means is that men should always pay regardless of financial standing in comparison with the female. This idea is strengthened throughout the article. Even though this seems like a sexist stance for her to take, but once again, I can testify to the truth thereof. If I go out on a date, everyone would expect me to pay, interestingly enough, I was accosted by my mother once when I had the check divided between me and my date, with my dad saying that men were supposed to pick up the tab. Adair also states that some men are stingy by nature which is correct but in my opinion should be expanded to contain both genders. I have known some very stingy females in my life just as the author admits to. Once again it is not a trait that is gender specific yet more unpleasant when displayed by males. So this part of her argument I agree with. She also writes about a friend of hers dumping her boyfriend when he acted cheap on a movie date by handing her M&M’s one by one. I found this incident hilarious but find it hard to say how I would react in a similar situation. What might appear normal to some may be abominable to others. For example, she mentions how her own date she writes about in the beginning of the article, loved talking about purchasing his car, a feat that was likened to “buying shoes” (68) in her native California, by the author. Perhaps the author was a bit harsh on him without knowing the motive behind the act. Maybe the guy had to struggle to purchase the car and considered it an achievement which he wanted to share with those close to him. Once again, perhaps it depends on the person’s perspective or how the words are actually delivered. Adair asserts that such stinginess, in her opinion is ingrained. She quotes the example of a stingy man who inconveniences himself to save a few quarters by parking far away from his destination to a young boy who was stingy with his pocket money. She suggests that he will probably be stingy with his feelings and “dole out his feelings as parsimoniously as his dollars” (69). She may be right in her assumption since I do believe that people who are frugal by nature can have the tendency to be calculating, as I have come across such individuals in my life. She then tells of a man she knew who broke up with a woman who never paid or offered to pay on any occasion, despite being perfectly capable financially to do so. At this point in the article, the author does seem close to admitting that it is unbecoming for males as well as females to be stingy and cheap. She adds weight to this thought when she talks about a well-off male friend who came up with a novel way of discerning women who were not his type from women who were. If they complained about his choice of venue for a date, he offered to donate the amount a fancy meal would cost to a charity of the lady’s picking. If the woman baulked, he steered clear of her. It may be a good way of testing a future spouse provided you had the money! She also puts in a man’s perspective when she states a friend (man) saying most males believed women to be equal and treated them the way they would treat any peer. But then she also says that her reaction to this sort of cheapness from a man brings out her old-school thinking of a man always paying. My parents adhere to old-school thinking, hence, they were shocked when I told them I split the tab with my tab, however, as far as I was concerned, I did not even think about it. When I go out with my friends, everyone is expected to pay, so I extended the same rule the date as well, as I did not feel I should treat a girl any different than my male friends. Altogether, Adair has rightfully pointed out that it is our societal gender rules that have an effect on our judgment of males and females depending on how much money they spend, however, she asserts that this needs to change. I thought that though the arguments she made were well presented, however, there was some bias on her part, which she admits herself (69). I feel this battle of the sexes on economic factors needs to end, just as much as Adair does. Works Cited Lara, Adair. “Who’s Cheap?” Title of Your Book. Ed. Name of the Editor(s). Place of Publication given in the copyright section: Publisher’s Name, Year of Publication. 68-69. Print. Read More