Grandparents: Styles and Satisfactions - Assignment Example

Abstract: This brief analysis provides a comparison between both sets of the grandparents of the author; maternal and paternal. The grandparents are compared in terms of how they accepted their roles as grandparents and experience that resulted. The analysis finds that the maternal grandparents took an active role in both the formal sense of grandparenting as well as the reservoir of family wisdom. Conversely, although equally loving, the paternal grandparents chose a more distant and detached role of grandparenting. Lastly, the author discusses the ideal type of grandparent as a vestige of what they wish to become in the future. Keywords: Grandparents, roles, reservoir of family knowledge, formal, detached, dynamics, self-sacrifice, maternal, paternal, parental relationships, distant, knowledge, and talents. Module 13: Grandparenthood Question 1: Based on the differentiations of grandparent’s assumed roles put forth in “Grandparents: Styles and Satisfactions”, I can most adequately describe my maternal grandparents as one of the single most formative relationships I experienced whilst maturing. Even under the most perfect of family situations with a loving and caring father and a loving and attentive mother, there is still a need and a requirement to experience a meaningful connection and relationship with one’s grandparents. Likewise, though my childhood was otherwise full of happiness, it would have been incomplete if it were not for the close relationships I experienced with my maternal grandparents. If forced to describe them under the rubric laid forth in the article referenced above, I would say that their grandparenting style was a combination of formal and reservoir of family wisdom. Although seemingly incongruous they were able to balance the traditional roles of indulging us in a healthful manner while at the same time tenderly and carefully offering us their sage advice as to life’s choices that we would make. Oftentimes their advice was unsolicited. Oftentimes I would seek out their wisdom on a certain topic, especially when I did not feel comfortable discussing this with my parents. In this way, they provided the trusted guidance and counseling I craved without the need to go outside the family or rely on lesser trusted sources of direction. The family dynamic was interesting because at certain times (not often but occasionally) the grandparent’s advice would differ from how my parents believed a certain situation should be managed. Oftentimes, I respected my grandparents for how they managed these disagreements even more than their actual advice. Although they would do their best to guide and direct us according to their own life experiences and beliefs, they never told me or my parents how to live life or what choices to pursue. Instead, they would lay their advice in front of us and say, this is my advice, guidance and the path that I believe is best; but, the decision is yours to make because it is your life that is in question. In many families, contention could have easily arisen from the fact that grandparents were giving/offering advice to the children (both adolescent and young adult) but because of the diplomatic way in which my maternal grandparents handled the situation, these conflicts never arose. Lastly, with respect to their role structures and the rewards and meanings that they found in grandparenthood, I believe they most valued the centrality and valued elder roles (Barber/Tremblay, 2002). Playing an active and important part in their grandchildren’s lives was clearly a central reward for them as grandparents and as human beings (Hall, 1999). Their continual selfless attitude and willingness to sacrifice their time, energy, peace and quiet of old age, as well as their material resources for the betterment and happiness of their grandchildren was testament to this. Even through their example they were able to teach and foster self-sacrifice and selflessness to each of us. Because we regularly saw the devotion and lack of selfishness that they portrayed, we were able to naturally pick up on these positive character attributes and attempt to mimic them in our own lives. Question 2: With respect to my paternal grandparents and how they viewed their roles as grandparents it is quite a different story. Although there is no wrong and right way to grandparent, the roles that my paternal grandparents took were much more distant and at times perceivably cold. As I only would see them during Christmas, even though they lived quite close, there was no discernible connection built between any of their grandchildren. As such, with comparison to my maternal grandparents, the two couples seemed hardly comparable. This being said, I do not doubt for a moment that they would support us in a moment of need or offer advice if asked; however, because they were so psychologically distant to us, there was never a situation that we would have requested their assistance. Additionally, it is worth noting that in the material read in preparation for this assignment, there was not a significant mention of the role that grandparents relationship with the parents plays in the choice of role acceptance with the grandchildren. In short, what can be noted time and time again is in situations where a parent or parents do not have a close working relationship with their own parents, it is increasingly unlikely that the grandparents will have close roles with respect to their grandchildren’s lives. More often than not, the grandparents in such situations will be withdrawn and in many cases remote. Question 3: With regards to the style in which I would like to grandparent, it is not surprising that I would chose the same model that was represented in Question 1. Because of the formative benefits that my maternal grandparents had on my development, I cannot begin to imagine a type of grand parenting style that could be more beneficial to my very own grandchildren. My maternal grandparents were everything I needed and more. They provided the love, the affection, the support, the occasional spoiling, and the priceless advice that so perfectly augmented that which my parents were able to give me. Lastly, I would most likely adopt the immortality through clan meaning of grand parenting as well as the other factors discussed. I cannot definitively say whether or not either set of my grandparents ascribed to this but for me it is particularly appealing as I will have the opportunity to let my thoughts, ideas, and worldly knowledge transcend my own life and pervade that of another of my closest family. In this way, even after my death, the knowledge, skills and talents I was able to learn during this life will be able to be passed on to my posterity and bear fruit in the younger generation Bibliography Barber, C. E., & Tremblay, K. R. (2002). Grandparents: Styles and Satisfactions. Family, 10(239), 1-4. Hall, C. M. (1999). The Special Mission of Grandparents: Hearing, Seeing, Telling. Westport, Conn: Bergin & Garvey. Name Date Professor’s Name Course Title/Section # Abstract: This analysis discusses the relevant steps necessitated to be taken when Bella, an elderly grandmother is diagnosed with dementia. The analysis lays out both long and short-term steps that the family must consider for her convalescence; whether at home or in an assisted living atmosphere. Furthermore, the intricacies of patient care, division of responsibilities between family members, and forethought to make difficult decisions ahead of time is also discussed at length. It is concluded that although oftentimes painful, it is within the family’s best interest to take a decided course of action and make plans for the future in both the worst and best case scenarios so that they do not become overwhelmed with the choices that face them in the future. Keywords: Care-giving plan, adult care, dementia, Alzheimer’s, combined/shared-sacrifice, long-term care, short-term care, alternative care, benchmarks, prognosis, Power of Attorney, care-giving needs, cognitive abilities. Caregiving Plan Immediate Steps When faced with decisions regarding care plans, both long and short term, it is necessary to take a step back from the situation before coming to any concrete resolutions. The scope and severity of Belle’s disease must be questioned and analyzed. Any solid care giving plan will then need to be based upon the prognosis for her disease and the estimated progression rate at which it will proceed (Swapno, 2010). As such, at this juncture, there should be two distinct care giving plans for Belle – short and long-term. Additionally, before any distinct decisions are made or the disease progresses to a greater degree, the family should sit down with Belle and discuss the outcomes that present themselves. At this stage of her disease, there is no reason to sideline Belle from the relevant conversation regarding her own future and her health. Short-term Possibilities Firstly, the family should consider creating a POA (Power of Attorney document) with either the mother or father designated as Belle’s POA. This should be done immediately as it will have effects on both the long and short-term care options that will be available should her disease progress to the point in which she is no longer able to make informed decisions on her own and will necessitate someone acting on her stead. Secondly, the ability of available family members to share the responsibility of caring for Belle should be weighed – i.e. which family members could be responsible for what tasks and on what days so that the weight of caring for Belle does not fall unevenly on a single family member. Long-term Possibilities Research should be conducted into long term care for Belle; specifically, what government sponsored programs are available to help ameliorate the cost of the care while at the same time providing the supervision that she will require (Sollitto, 2011). Additionally, depending on the severity of Belle’s prognosis, a member or alternating members of the family may consider moving in with Belle for allotted times during the week in order to administer to her needs. However, if Belle’s condition continues to deteriorate rapidly over time, this option will not be a viable one for long. Alternative Living or Caregiving Arrangements for Belle One option that is available to the family in question is the possibility that they could take turns alternating caring for Belle with mother, father, the daughter in college looking after Belle during the weekdays and the son in high school caring for her during certain weekends as activities permit. This is a shared responsibility on the part of the entire family and as such it should not fall on a single member. Additionally, the two school-age children of the family may need to share a room in the event that Belle should be forced to move in with the family in order that she may receive the care and attention she requires. Although not ideal, this sacrifice will be borne by the entire family. Lastly, the family may be able to hire someone who is not necessarily a medical professional but a good, caring person to check in on Belle during the days of the week that no member of the family is able to be with her (Borbasi et al 2006). Community outreach groups and churches often provide this service for free or at very low cost to those in need. Factors Used to Evaluate Types of Living Arrangements Firstly, the effects on Belle’s health of a potential move should be considered. As is the case with many dementia patients, changing their environment is a very large event and can trigger the patient to become even more lost and disoriented with their new surroundings (Alzheimer’s Association, 2009). Additionally, benchmarks should be set for stages of care that Belle will require; otherwise, the family will again and again find themselves at difficult junctures having to make decisions as to the next steps which must be made for Belle’s care. By having the benchmark discussion and setting the metrics for what Belle will need at each and every step of the progression of her disease, regardless of what comes next, the family will have a corresponding plan to implement. Dementia – Different Types, Symptoms, Treatments, Prognosis One of the first steps that is necessary is to define the level and prognosis of Belle’s dementia. Once this has been quantified, the family will then be able to seek further expert opinions and get a better grasp on Belle’s likely prognosis. The question also needs to be asked concerning whether she has standard dementia/forgetfulness common with old age – or a type of progressively debilitating disease such as Alzheimer’s. The type of disease she has will have a definite bearing on how the family will need to choose the best care option for her. If Belle is expected to get progressively worse with the passage of time, more permanent accommodations that are capable of administering to her unique needs with time must be considered. However, if she is likely to remain physically fit and reasonably mentally competent for the remainder of her life then the family will need to lay out a plan of action that corresponds to this outcome. Belle’s Expected Care-giving Needs At this stage of her dementia, it is likely that Belle can in large part continue to take care of many of her own items of personal business. These include: bathing, eating, changing clothes, and associated activities involving mobility. Since Belle’s case of dementia is not greatly advanced as yet, the caregiver will have greatly reduced responsibility as compared to those caregivers responsible for providing primary care to a patient with advanced dementia who can no longer perform the most basic of tasks for themselves. Accordingly, Belle will need help with cogitative abilities (for instance remembering to lock the doors at night or turning off the oven). Belle will also need assistance in having her financial affairs taken care of as well as someone to assist her in taking whatever medication she might be on. In conclusion, there are a host of different decisions and different possible outcomes to Belle’s condition that should be explored and decided upon. None of these choices should rest on a single individual as this will cause mental and physical exhaustion and likely overwhelm the person. Accordingly, it should be a shared burden between each family member as each member of the family will likely have to sacrifice in some way in order to accommodate the changes that Belle will require. Bibliography Alzheimers Association (2009). Moving a Person with Dementia into a Caregivers Home. Alzheimers Association Journal, 12(4), 1-2. Retrieved from http://www.alz.org/stl/documents/moving_pwd_to_cg_home.pdf Borbasi, S., Jones, J., Lockwood, C., & Emden, C. (2006). Health professionals' perspectives of providing care to people with dementia in the acute setting: Toward better practice. Geriatric Nursing, 27(5), 1-28. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17045129 Sollitto, M. (2011). Does My Elderly Parent Needs In-Patient Rehabilitation. Aging Care. Retrieved July 30, 2012, from http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/elderly-parent-inpatient-rehabilitation-138342.htm Swapno, K. (2010). Caring for Dementia Patients. Dementia Care Notes. Retrieved July 30, 2012, from http://dementia-care-notes.in/caregivers/ Read More