Is It Important for Children to Feel That They Fit in - Coursework Example

Is it important for children to feel that they ‘fit in’? How can practitioners support the development of a sense of belonging? Introduction Children are the most important source of happiness and hope for parents. Promoting the well-being of children have been the ultimate goal of parents, teachers, local communities, the state and organizations the world over. A child’s view of oneself affects his or her ability to function. A child’s self-concept or the perception of oneself affects every aspect of life, including relationships, functional abilities and health status. Since no two people have an identical self-concept, this perception makes each individual child unique. It is in this regard that this essay is written to answer two relevant questions: (1) is it important for children to feel that they ‘fit in’? And (2) how can practitioners support the development of a sense of belonging? In answering the first question, the following concepts would be addressed: (1) the nature of “fitting-in”; (2) the importance of “fitting-in” in children’s lives; (3) the relationship between identity development and self-esteem; and (4) the impact of labeling on identity development and belonging. On the other hand, the second question would be addressed by showing how practitioners’ understanding of the concept of belonging relates to practice. This can be appropriately presented by identifying strategies that practitioners can adopt to support good practice including the development of resilience among children. The Nature and Importance of “Fitting-In” For children, the first experience which exposes their perceptions of being in a social environment is their first interrelationships in school. According to the psychologist John Dewey (1934, 1939) “social interactions were an essential stimulus for any individual to learn”. Mendizza, in his Transpersonal Vision of Parenting, defines fitting in as “conforming to beliefs and behaviors accepted by the culture. Survival means belonging to the club. Personal development is measured in terms of fitting in.” (p.1). Children recognize the importance of “fitting-in” from the reactions they elicit from other people. Wilder & Collins (2008) averred that “many children need feedback about the impact they make on others so that they can make informed choices about the impact they may wish to have” (p.66). Due to children’s awareness of the importance of the concept of “fitting-in”, those children found to be socially deviant are advised by practitioners to hone their social skills by applying specific strategies that develop fitting-in behaviors. To wit, Gray (1994) “developed some very specific rules for writing effective social stories to help children develop fitting-in behaviour”. She encouraged reading social stories which “contain more informative statements (explaining social cues or providing reasons) than directive statements (telling the child what to do and say). Directives are stated positively as ‘do’ statements rather than ‘don’t’ statements.” Other strategies include video modeling, affording opportunities to study in mixed groups, and applying collaborative teamwork which develop a wide range of skills within a specifically identified group. (Wilder & Collins 2008, pp. 67 – 68). The Relationship between Identity Development and Self-esteem Both identity and self-esteem are two of four components of self-concept. (Delaune & Ladner 2006 p. 431) The other two components are body image and role performance. All of these components interplay in explaining the child’s frame of reference for perceiving and interacting with the world. From the concepts presented by Cooper & Colins (2008), identity encompass diverse theories which make it difficult to simply define. From among the prominent theories identified by both authors, the following are enumerated: (1) different aspects of identity change in response to space, setting and time; (2) identity is unique due to differences in behavior and thought; (3) identity changes occur due to interactions of social circumstances, life events, and an individual’s reaction to them; (4) one’s identity is commonly described by presenting common themes such as name, age, gender, and physical appearance, likes/dislikes, residence, family relations, and social roles, among others; and (5) in describing one’s identity, the developmental sequence is relevant and influential in presenting diverse descriptions.(pp. 12 – 14) A person begins to develop identity during childhood and constantly reinforces and modifies it throughout life. Children learn to observe themselves critically as their social environment expands. Feedback from others may support and strengthen an aspect of identity already implanted, or it may contradict an aspect and be a catalyst for change. The concept of self-esteem is an “individual’s generalized sense of worth and value, or how a person regards self.” (Delaune & Ladner 2006, p. 432) According to Wilder & Collins, J. (2008), the development of a child’s self-esteem is influenced by the following factors: (1) parental and familial relationships, (2) relationships with significant others, (3) role models in society and the media, and (4) individual personalities. Accordingly, “the development of self-esteem can be measured as an affective process and is a measure of the extent to which the individual cares about the discrepancy between their self-image and their perception of their ideal self.”(p. 51) Studies have indicated that for a child to develop self-esteem, it is necessary to create an environment of high warmth and low criticism. It is relatively important to accord constructive criticisms as opposed to wanton criticisms disregarding the child and not his or her behavior. The Impact of Labeling on Identity Development and Belonging As defined in Webster’s New World Dictionary (2000, p. 361), a label is defined as “a term of generalized classification”. Sometimes people use labels to define oneself. As noted by Wilder & Collins (2008), “when people use labels to define themselves, others may focus on the label and find it difficult to perceive the whole person. Labels can become a defining truth, an internalized part of our lived experience and identity that is very difficult to displace.” (p. 47) Labels have the effect of enhancing or depressing a person’s self-esteem through its effect on extending or limiting the potentials of an individual. According to Asher (2001), “labelling represents a basic human trait that helps us to create order and common groups within our worlds”. If seen in this context, labels are seen as constructive making social markers which could be advantages to a particular group. In addition, labels “it means acknowledging difficulties where difficulties lie”. (Wilder & Collins 2008 p. 34). With the identification of the weaknesses, these are appropriately addressed. When labels are used to oppress others, then, they could be considered unfair and damaging to the personalities of children. Further, “labels can act as a barrier to reaching a full and appropriate level of understanding regarding the whole child” (ibid. p.34). The relevant fact to consider regarding labels is that children should not necessarily respond to the labels ascribed to them. These labels can be utilized to improve and address the weaknesses to develop and change the identity mirrored by them. The challenging area regarding addressing gender, ethnicity and disability is confronting the basic belief or attitude that the abovementioned problems can be changed. If even one is reluctant to accept the idea that there are measures to be undertaken to address racial, gender and disability issues, then, however plausible the courses of action are, these would prove to be futile. Peer counseling should be seen as an effective support tool to address these issues. Immediately ask for advice from parents and school administrators for these matters. Regular dialogues should be encouraged for immediate corrective actions. The concept of belonging is clearly presented in the article written by Karasu (2009), “both psychologists and philosophers assert that one has to "be" before one can "belong." But being and belonging feed into each other. Being is not a static state; it is ever evolving; one acquires only degrees of being. In fact, it may be more accurate to refer to "becoming" rather than "being." Belonging becomes intricately woven into the process of ones becoming.” It is emphasized that belonging is an activity which requires time, effort, energy and commitment. The success of a child this endeavor is influenced by the identity factors perceived. These findings suggest that whether or not they are enjoying intimate relationships, human beings need something else-a sense of being part of a community that goes beyond the one constituted by immediate family and other intimate relationships. Is it important for children to feel that they ‘fit in’? The answer to this question is yes, it is important for children to feel that they “fit in”. From the discourse on the theories of self-concept encompassing the components of identity and self-esteem, it is hereby established that by building a positive identity, a child is able to respond positively to his or her environment including developing appropriate social skills which enhance their well-being. The Concept of Resilience Despite the global concern for promoting well-being to all children, there still exist children who are abandoned, abused, neglected, and an unwanted. Their processes of identity development are influenced by totally different stimulus which affects their outlook in life. According to Masten (as quoted in Schoon 2006, p. 7), the concept of resilience refers to the following, to wit: “a positive outcome despite the experience of adversity; continued positive or effective functioning in adverse circumstances; or recovery after a significant trauma”. Newman (1999) identified factors which promote childhood resilience. Among these factors are: (1) a child’s positive personality; (2) supportive family; and (3) successful school experiences and interrelationships. Practitioner’s Response According to Rutter (1987) “practitioners need to consider promoting children’s ability to resist adversity as well as reducing risk factors”. The practitioners should be aware of the level of exposure to managed levels of difficulty to attain resilience rather than damage. It is important to note that the practitioners understanding and competence on the concept of belonging contributes to the success of promoting the well being of children, especially those who have disabilities. In the DVD Transcript on Belonging, the child with impaired speech, Vanessa, was encouraged by practitioners to join mainstream clubs and groups which would enhance her coping mechanisms. In addition, by being member of a support group, the therapeutic advantages of peer relationships enhance the development of a positive identity rather then relying solely on adult support. In is eminent from the transcript that the factor of the child’s positive personality was present, including family support and happy, memorable experiences and interrelationships with the group from where Vanessa belongs. By belonging to these groups, she felt socially secure and enhanced a positive identity despite her disability. To counter risks of exclusion, practitioners also created a multi-disciplinary approach which utilizes various intervention methods such as: cognitive behavior therapy, behavior modification, brief family intervention, nurture approaches, play therapy, and counseling, to name a few (Teachernet, 2007, p. 53). The role of practitioners is critical in identifying the appropriate intervention needed for a particular child’s needs. The ultimate goal is to promote a positive identity by developing the social skills of the children and enhance belonging in social groups. Conclusion Children are the most important source of happiness and hope for parents. But as averred by Foley (2008), “promoting the wellbeing of all children requires sustained commitment from many different kinds of people, their governments and their institutions, among whom there will be widely contrasting views about roles and responsibilities towards children and families”. There are various organizations worldwide which monitor and address pressing issues that endanger the very existence and survival of children. A child’s concept of self depends, to an extent, on what one thinks that others think about oneself. Even at very young ages, children recognize the importance of the concept of “fitting-in”. The positive feedbacks they receive assist them in building a positive identity further enabling them to respond and react appropriately to their environment. The process of identity development assists them in honing their self-esteem. As children mature, they can accept or reject the appraisals of others and change their behavior in a way that leads to a more positive self-concept and identity. As required, practitioners are encouraged to support the development of a child’s well-being and sense of belonging through various interventions and multi-disciplinary approaches. Their role is very critical in identifying the areas which need enhancement and improvement in a child’s identity. By recognizing which weaknesses or threats need to be specifically addressed, a child would be accorded with the exact developmental strategy to ensure the promotion of a positive identity, a secured social circle, as well as a happy and bright future for the child. References Asher, N. (2001) ‘Checking the box: the label of “model minority”’ in Hudak, G. and Kihn, P. (eds) Labelling: Politics and Pedagogy, London, Falmer Press. Cooper, V. & Collins, J. (2008). Children and Identity. Promoting children’s well-being: policy and practice. The Open University. United Kingdom. Delaune, S.C. & Ladner, P.K. (2006). Fundamentals of Nursing: Standards & Practice. Delmar Learning. United Kingdom. Dewey, J. (1934). Art as Experience. London, Allen & Unwin. Dewey, J. (1939). Freedom and Culture. London, Allen & Unwin. Foley, P. (2008). Introduction. Promoting children’s well-being: policy and practice. The Open University. United Kingdom. Gray, C. (1994). Social Stories. London, Future Horizons Incorporated. Karasu, T.B. (2009). Growing Down: Becoming by Belonging. Retrieved on June 11, 2009 from < http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery- happiness/200905/growing-down-becoming-belonging> Mendizza, M. (undated). A Transpersonal Vision of Parenting. Retrieved on June 11, 2009 from Newman, T. (1999). Highlight 170: Evidence Based Child Care Practice. London, National Children’s Bureau/Barnardo’s. Rutter,M.(1987) ‘Psychosocialresilienceandprotectivemechanisms’ inRolf,J.,Masten,A., Cichetti, D., Nuechterlein, K. and Weintraub, S. (eds) Risk and Protective Factors in the Development of Psychopathology. New York, Cambridge University Press. Schoon, I. (2006). Risk and Resilience: Adaptations in Changing Times. Cambridge, Cambridge University Press. Teachernet (2007). Promoting children’s mental health within early years and school Setting. available online at , accessed June 11, 2009. Webster’s New World Dictionary. (2000). Definition of Label. Pocket Books. London. Wilder, S.J. & Collins, J. (2008). Children Negotiating Identities. Promoting children’s well-being: policy and practice. The Open University. United Kingdom. Read More