Single Mother Life Styles Patterns - Article Example

Single Mother Life Styles Order No. 246209 No. of pages: 4 Premium 6530 The single mother not only survives but also thrives. The quality of parenting is one of the best ways to predict a child’s behavior. One of the hardest tasks in life is to become a single parent, since a single parent has to fulfill the duties of both the parents. Children living with single parents are more exposed to stress. Single mothers often take the place of a role model for their daughters and this becomes an added responsibility for the mother to prove her case in point. However, the daughters of a single mother grow up to become responsible mothers if the upbringing is on the right lines.. It does become difficult for these mothers to fulfill all the expectations of their sons but this in no way implies that they do not bring up their sons well. I, as a Social worker, took up studying this project as a challenge because I felt it was not only interesting but I knew that it would be quite useful to me in the future to help other people living in such a scenario. I decided that just studying this matter in theory was not enough, so I approached the subject by making use of an Action Research approach which needed me to go on field trips and engage myself in interaction with all the people concerned, thereby gaining good on- hand experience. My findings resulted in both an extensive as well as intensive Action Research which provided me not only with a richer knowledge but also with a wider vision to comprehend what it is really like in a single mother home. Through this Action research I became aware of the fact that a remarkable job is being done by the single parent to raise well balanced and well adjusted children in the face of stressful life altering changes. Being a Social worker, I definitely realize the impact of poor upbringing and the repercussions it entails because I have come across many such cases. These stressful conditions might be financial or social in nature. Social stigma acts as an additional burden to these parents. The results of various research shows that what is important to a child is, not the person who provides care but the quality of care they are given. Raising happy and healthy children depends upon the love and care provided to the child irrespective of the number of parents they may have. Children who live in a single parent family are often very mature and are inclined to understand things in a better light. They help more in household chores as compared to those children who live with both parents. Discussions regarding finances or other important family decisions are taken with the participation of the children. Another important factor which has to be followed by single parents is to have a positive attitude as they are the role models for their children. This includes spending quality time with the children and having some form of discipline in the house. Mothers who raise their children without the support of the father or any other member of the family, either by choice or circumstance, constitute to a large chunk of our population. When single motherhood is a matter of choice, its repercussions on the family are minimal, but when a mother is forced to shoulder the responsibility of raising a child because of denial of support by the father, the effects on the child can be far-reaching and more often than not, negative. Daughters of single mothers are vulnerable to the pitfall of themselves becoming single mothers and statistics show this to be true. According to Stephanie Schamess, this scenario is likely to repeat itself since daughters of unmarried mothers show a tendency to become sexually active at the onset of their teen years and are much more likely to get involved with abusive men. (Maggie Gallagher p. 167) This aberration in the teen years could be due to the lack of a father figure and the absence of authority and discipline in the home environment. The incidence of teens from single parent homes dropping out of high school is twice as high than that of children coming from two parent homes, and there is also twice the likelihood of these children becoming teen parents and a one and half time more chance of the staying at home. (McLanahan and Sandefur, pg. 34) Illegitimacy is also growing at an alarming rate, borne out by data that shows an increase of 66% since 1960. Larry L. Bumpass, 1990) The number of teenage girls running their separate households, with their children is also on the rise and research points out that young girls raised in a household run by a single mother have a 72% chance ( in a white household) to become a single mother while in the case of blacks there is a 100% chance of history repeating itself. (Sara S. McLanahan, 1988) The Action Research also highlighted the current burning issue of female empowerment, showing us there are many who scoff at the idea of women not being able to bring up a child single-handedly, although almost all research points to the contrary. In a study commissioned by Minister for Children, Mary Hanafin T.D., titled ‘Young Mothers’, it was found that teen mothers are extremely vulnerable to a lower socio-economic status and suffer marginalization in society. Apart from the financial hardships they have to bear, the state also suffers since they are dependent on welfare for a longer period of time. (Kamarck and Galston, pg 35) The risk of being poor is very high and most of them are dependent on the state to meet their financial needs. Very often it is found that single mothers take up two jobs in order to provide for the basic amenities for the child. This in turn makes the mother absent for longer periods of time and absence of maternal support in the formative years causes psychological damage to the child, which manifests itself at later stages in their life. This can be seen in a reluctance towards marriage, greater chances of divorce and the likelihood of having children without the formality of marriage. (Daniel T. Lichter et al., 1992) In a family structure where there is a single parent looking after all the needs of children, the power structure takes on a personal rather a consensual attitude, and soon the child too, imbibes this undemocratic decision making process, in later life which is seen as an attitude of rebellion towards society and family. A family is one of the most important institutions in society and any change in its basic character will disrupt the normal functioning of a family. Kalter (1977) came to the conclusion that girls from single families showed a marked tendency towards deviant behavior and were especially susceptible to “aggression, sexual promiscuity, drug use and problems with school performance.” Therefore I must say that as a student social worker and researcher, approaching such an important subject through the action research served as a potent tool for learning from life and had a much greater impact on me which I would definitely not gained by other extractive measures. References Hanafin launches study of young single mothers http://www.dohc.ie/press/releases/2001/20010127.html What do you think about single mothers? - FamousWhy http://articles.famouswhy.com/what_do_you_think_about_single_mothers_/ Children of divorce becoming teen moms, single moms http://www.divorcereform.org/teenmoms.html 1.Kamarck and Galston, "Progressive Family Policy," 162. Cited on page 35 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher 2.The Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher p. 167, citing Stephanie Schamess, "The Search for Love: Unmarried Adolescent Mothers Views of, and Relationships with, Men," Adolescence 28, No. 110 (1993): 425ff. 3.McLanahan and Sandefur, Growing Up. Cited on page34 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher 4.See Larry L. Bumpass, "Whats Happening to the Family: Interaction Between Demographic and Institutional Change," Demography 27 (1990): 483-498. Cited on page11 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher 5.Sara S. McLanahan, "Family Structure and Dependency: Reality Transitions to Female Household Head ship," Demography 25, Feb., 1988, 1-16. Cited in Amneus, The Garbage Generation, page 240 6.Daniel T. Lichter et al., "Race and the Retreat from Marriage: A Shortage of Marriageable Men?" American Sociological Review 57 (December 1992): 781-799. Cited on page27 ofThe Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher http://www.utsc.utoronto.ca/~socsci/sever/pubs/hillock.pdf Parenting http://www.parentingrc.org.au/staging/files/06062008100620SingleMothersBP.pdf. The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive…. http://www.futureofchildren.org/usr_doc/05_FOC_15-2_fall05_Amato.pdf Patrick Fagan 1.pps www.universia.edu.uy/contenidos/noticias/varios/patrick_fagan_1.pps Read More