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An Alternative to Corporal Punishment One practical alternative to corporal punishment, which is based on the principle that some children are naturally violent and disobedient, is to ignore them or to threaten to leave them somewhere like the store where they committed some misdemeanors. Naturally, the parent should try to assess the situation first in order not to put the child in a dangerous situation like, thus it would be stupid to think about leaving him or her in a dark alley at night. Nevertheless, this method will most likely work because of its advantages.
One advantage of this is that the parent himself will not be held responsible for any act of corporal punishment that is in turn punishable by the law. In many countries like the United States, a certain degree of corporal punishment is punishable by law, and so a parent will rather try to avoid than do this. However, leaving the child or ignoring him or her will definitely not qualify as something punishable unless it endangers the child. Another advantage of this method is that he cannot hate the parent for the latter has not physically hurt him nor has verbally abused him.
Usually a child bears grudges and a strong sense of guilt only when the parent has physically hurt him or has hurled insults at him. Leaving him or ignoring him leaves no room for sulking, and as the child would think that it is his or her parent that is sulking, he will more likely be encouraged to be responsible for it or to do his or her parent a favor in order to stop the sulking. The parent in turn should not play hard to get this time, and should respond positively BUT should ask the child this question and see to it that he answers it: “I’m sure you didn’t like what I did, but neither did I, but you and I knew I had to do it.
So, what can you promise me now, John?” However, the parent should ask this question kindly and should take care not to sound sarcastic. Otherwise, the child would view this act with resentment. A third advantage is that it is not you but if you leave the child or ignore him, other people will tend to be the ones to scold to your child for what he or she has done to you. Sometimes, objective advice is better acknowledged and turns out more indelible in the child’s mind compared to advice from one’s parents, which the child himself or herself may have already prejudged as prejudiced against him or her.
Moreover, with other people scolding him or her, there is some degree of shame or embarrassment for the child. He will hopefully take this positively and make sure that he would never be in the same situation ever again. Furthermore, the child may also take this opportunity to voice out his or her emotions to a stranger, who he feels would be less judgmental and prejudiced compared to a parent who has known him or her for quite some time. Whether or not the stranger relays the child’s sentiments to the parents, the child will have already benefited much from the moment of catharsis.
Parents and school staff can learn how to use this method by trying to institute and impose it at home or at school. However, since this is only purely a personal idea of mine, then care should be taken to ensure that a psychologist has somehow expressed consent over this policy. Parents and school stuff should also try to refrain from imposing power unjustly or from using sarcasm and public humiliation against the child. However, in the case of extremely defiant children, I would rather they be treated differently and they be brought to an institution where they meet equally defiant children or perhaps sent to hospital for treatment.
Ostracism or ignoring these defiant children, which is the point of my suggested alternative to corporal punishment, will simply make them find more allies and thus reinforce their behavior.
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