Parents and Their Children - Essay Example

Family Essay Family Essay In a family setup, there are many issues that arise from both parents and their children. Some of the most common issues include first-time parenting challenges, handling a large family, marriage, living together and sibling rivalry among others (Susan, 1992). The parents are required to address these issues to ensure that the family stays together in harmony. If these factors are overlooked, then, the family can significantly suffer enormous losses. This article will discuss how sibling rivalry has become prevalent in many homes. Sibling rivalry is regarded as one of the oldest tribulations in humankind. However, most parents do not seem to be concerned with the possible outcome of this problem within their families. Moreover, this problem is closely correlated with Judaism and Christianity which are considered as the world’s greatest religions. In most cases, sibling rivalry is attributed by hostility between siblings. This antagonism can be depicted in numerous methods, which are extremely dangerous. This shows that this conflict usually involves aggression; however, sibling rivalry is not related to sibling abuse. Sibling abuse is a situation whereby a child oppresses the other through unnoticeable techniques (Susan, 1992). According to psychologists, sibling rivalry can be defined as a form of competition that crops up among children in a home (Susan, 1992). This can also be referred to as enmity among children whether they are blood-related or not. In most cases, the rivalry arises from several factors that are contained either outside or within the family. Some of the factors include personality of the children, birth order, treatment of children by the parents and life experiences. This contention vastly affects children who are of the same gender or those who are born at a close range. As explained by most child psychologists, this issue is widespread and can involve belligerence among the children. In addition, the factors largely contribute to this conflict. For example, parental treatment is said to affect children, even in their teenage years. When these issues are not resolved, then the children might end up hurting each other or even killing their fellow siblings. Reports show that, children of age 10-15 are those affected largely by sibling rivalry with the main issue being intellectuality. In prolonged situations, these jealousy issues can thrive to adulthood (Faber & Mazlish, 2012). This can negatively affect the whole family line. It is normal that siblings compete to outdo each other in a family. This is because all the children require parental attention. This rivalry results when either of the parents acts in favor of one child and leaves out the others (Faber & Mazlish, 2004). This makes the left-out child feel insignificant in the family. The most common response that siblings disclose is through fighting. In most cases, some children feel neglected when they feel they receive uneven attention from the parents. Parents and guardians can reduce this rivalry through guidance and counseling. Therefore, parents should note the situation before it extends to sibling abuse, which is worse than children rivalry. Sigmund Freud; a psychologist who came up with the psychoanalytic theory claims that sibling rivalry behavior is an extension of the Oedipus complex. Additionally, Sigmund claims that this conflict is predominant in all human beings. This can be clarified as the emotions that are kept by the mind in an unconscious state which normally happens in the phallic stage (approximately age 3 to 6) (Susan, 1992). Parents are in the best position to alleviate the enmity among their children (Susan, 1992). Furthermore, the parents can avoid making comparisons among the siblings and shun favoritism among them. There are certain familiar examples of situations that are related to sibling-rivalry. The best example can be drawn from the Biblical anecdote of Cain and Abel. In this biblical allusion, the rivalry led to death. Moreover, some of the most famous real-life situations of sibling-rivalry are presented in the media. The most illustrious case is the relationship between Venus and Serena Williams who are both tennis players. Also, Asha Bhosle and Lata Mangeshkar had a turbulent sibling relationship. Lastly, the Minogue sisters (Kylie and Dannii) who are renowned pop stars in Australia are closely associated with this sibling enmity (Faber & Mazlish, 2004). Apart from the discussed psychoanalytic views related to sibling rivalry, there are other approaches that have been invented in relation to sibling rivalry. For example, Alfred Adler argues that the birth order of children widely influences sibling rivalry. In fact, researchers claim that the birth order within a family is a significant aspect of personality development. It has been proved that older siblings are normally aggressive to the younger siblings (Susan, 1992). Nowadays, psychologists endorse the fact that gender constellations and age has an extensive impact on sibling relationships. This behavior is common as the children grow. At various developmental stages, the children should be taught how to enhance their relationship between their siblings. It is quite gloomy to watch the children fight each other due to petty issues. One can promote peace in the household through enforcing some regulations that will ensure unity between the children. Some of the methods of preventing this include taming tempers between the children, preparing the child for another sibling and ensuring equity in attention (Cartmell, 2003). With these three factors, the parents ensure that their children are free from childhood stress, and they will be able to deal with their bullies appropriately (Cartmell, 2003). In conclusion, parents should strive in the resolution of sibling-related problems early enough to avoid severe circumstances. They should also act as role models to their children. This entails that if the couple has any disagreements, there are high chances that the children are also likely to rise against each other. This can be characterized through ghastly behaviors such as slamming doors, shouting and use of abusive language by the children. Surprisingly, this behavior is also evident in various animal species and not human beings only (Susan, 1992). This is seen in the form of siblicide in eagles, dogs and other animal species. References Cartmell, T. (2003). Keep the siblings, lose the rivalry. Illinois: Zondervan Press. Faber, A. & Mazlish, E. (2004). Siblings without rivalry: How to help your children live together so you can live too. New York: William Morrow Publishers. Faber, A. & Mazlish, E. (2012). How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk. New York: Scribner Publishers. Susan, B. (1992). Conflict, regression, and narcissistic defenses in the underachieving adolescent. United States: Smith College Press. Read More