Exchange Theory: Family And Marriage Relationships - Term Paper Example

? Exchange Theory: Family and Marriage Relationships Exchange Theory: Family and Marriage Relationships Human relationship is one of the most unpredictable and disputed phenomenon among all scientific facts and studies. Our interactions with each other build a complicated sphere of life that influence on our breeding, development, growth, physiological estate and perception. Despite the fact that in most cases it seems that there is nothing more transparent and plain than people’s communication and behavior, occasionally marriage, family and couple relationships manage to reach an impasse. The moments of misunderstanding, conflicts and clashes may occur on every stage of human relationships. Psychologists assume that specific part of quarrels should take place in each normal relationship for ensuring a healthy atmosphere within a couple. However, it is essential to have the right proportion between negative and positive emotions of the union, always weighting own costs along with partner’s return and benefits of the relationships. Democratization of our society is built such way that every time when we make an attempt to create strong relationships we select somebody, meantime being picked out by others. Frequently these choices do not match with each other, due to the influence of the numerous factors. Choosing a right person for marriage, people always estimate each other, examining partner’s background, education, appearance, traits of character, social status, physical attractiveness, ability to be considerate, supportive, generous et cetera. All these characteristics are put on the one scale pan, while own costs to build coveted relationships are laid on another one. The concept of different shares of the inputs and rewards is grounded in the so-called exchange theory, which affirms that each partner estimates the mentioned factors during decision-making concerning the continuation or dissolution of the relationships. The main idea of the theory developed in 1960s is based on the fact that “the resources that individuals bring to a relationship or family affect formation, continuation, nature, and power dynamics of a relationship” (Lamanna et al, 2011). It is quite logical that individuals try to receive the biggest rewards from their relationships and consequently minimize own costs. In this respect, every person strives to choose the most worthwhile relationships that will manage to bring the biggest return. Analyzing initial features of the potential partners, occasionally people are able to make a wrong choice in the connection with dominating role of emotions and false feelings. The problem of such choice along with the main notions of the exchange theory is depicted in the romantic comedy by Andy Tennant “Sweet Home Alabama”. The movie tells a story about young Melanie Carmichael, formerly known by surname Smooter, who has managed to run away from boring life in a country and moved to crowded and noisy New York City, where she supposes to find huge opportunities and desirable perspectives. Becoming a successful fashion designer and getting engaged with promising politician, Miss Smooter forgets about her homeland very quickly, acting and feeling herself almost as a native citizen of the Big Apple. Only small circumstance, such as uncancelled marriage with Jake Perry, compels the heroine to come back to sweet Alabama, which accepts a girl in unfriendly manner due to a lot of hurts, offences and misunderstandings that have been left by Melanie with her departure. Relationships with a current husband turn out to be very intense due to the mutual anger, which partners feel to each other. Jake is infuriated with Melanie because of her abrupt leaving and Mel in her turn is mad because Mr. Perry has not endorsed papers for divorce yet. Melanie’s relations with parents also have become pretty cool. Especially we can notice it in episode when Mrs. Smooter returns unclaimed tickets to Melanie, who says that she does not understand how come her parents care about everything except their own daughter. Relationships with friends are getting spoilt drastically particularly when Melanie after couple of drinks says offensive things to local inhabitants, emphasizing that she does not realize how they can live such way. It is fair to mention that Melanie has been changed considerably by the life in New York. All girl’s words, behavior, actions display her presumption that she is beyond all Alabama’s citizens. New life and rules of NYC influence Melanie’s perception of the world, compelling a girl to treat everybody as if she is better than anybody is. Consequently, the main heroine faces the problem of self-growth that collides with girl’s past and causes divergence and disorder. “Sweet Home Alabama” is a nice simple comedy that manages to depict complexity of love triangle in subtle and humorous manner. In the center of the movie we can see Melanie with her two images, such as frolicsome Smooter and presumptuous Carmichael. From one side of a girl there is Andrew, who radiates success, wealth and perspectives, and from the other side there is Jake, who sends strong emotions and beautiful memories. In the beginning Melanie’s choice is absolutely clear. In a talk with mother the girl admits that she is happy, stating “I met somebody. And he is quite a catch” (Brown, 2002). Andrew indeed seems to be a great guy. He is supportive, considerate and romantic. He knows how to care of his lover and amaze her with pleasant surprises. Vague past of Melanie does not scare him. And even after finding out the fact that Melanie has lied him, Andrew states, “I really don’t care what happened down here. You have a past. I mean, who does not? What I need to know is if there is a place for me in your future” (Brown, 2002). Andrew brings romance and beauty to his relationship with Melanie. Moreover, he shows real understanding and support, inducing Mel to think about the comfort, which she may lose in case of rejecting such generous attention. Andrew’s reward of the relationships is his own emotional experience that he feels with a help of Melanie’s presence. However, his unawareness of real Melanie can become serious cost that may keep him away from such union. The most important thing is that Andrew indeed does not know his future wife in a full way. Due to this he is in love only in created image that artfully conceals Melanie’s past. Despite all the lies and pretences, Andrew turns out to be a strong-willed and resolute guy, who appreciates his relations with Melanie and tries not to lose them. Evident contrast to Andrew is Jake, who in the beginning seems to be rude and selfish. However, the more he uncovers himself the more he becomes positive and charming to the viewers. Jake is sensitive and purposeful person, who cherishes his homeland, friends and family. The reason why he has not given divorce to Melanie is his desire to achieve real success and make his wife regret about tuning him down. With his stubbornness and persistence Jake has a specific power to safe relations that for so many years have been meant to be broken up. After a long time of separation Mr. Perry still loves Melanie with all his heart, despite his anger and offense. Jake respects Melanie and misses her the way she was before her removal. Married couple has a lot of mutual memories that after seven years still manage to join them. Jake’s reward of the relationships is creating harmonic union with Melanie, whom since deep childhood he used to consider as his soul mate. However, realizing Melanie’s changes, Mr. Perry sees the real impediment of further understanding and communication. Finally he gives up these relationships, allowing Melanie to control her life by herself. The main heroine is a girl with big dreams and strong will, who has managed to change her life drastically. Being quite content with present, Melanie admits that returning to the past times fits her and she gets confused in realization of what she really wants. Melanie is a central character in her relations with Jake and Andrew. She has a power to make important decisions and influence on their fates. Leaving Jake for the sake of luxurious and saturated life in a big city, Melanie realizes all costs that she would suffer if she has stayed with her husband. Jake can not give her everything that Andrew does. However, staying with Andrew, the girl may lose the biggest love of her life. Being confused in making a right choice, finally Melanie understands that it is not a coincidence that she has not signed the papers for divorce in proper time. It is girl’s conscience that has been blocked and neglected by the girl for so many years, but as a result has not allowed Melanie to make a crucial mistake later on. In one of the final scenes Mrs. Perry states, “I gave my heart away a long time ago... my whole heart. And I never really got it back” (Brown, 2002). Melanie’s choice proves the exchange theory, confirming that a person chooses a partner who is closer to him by nature and who gives him more rewards and less costs. No matter how good and perspective Andrew is, Melanie does not pick him out, because this match will not be best for her future. Consequently, the exchange theory asserts that those couples whose partners match with each other by intelligence, emotional spirit, traits of character are able to reach stability and harmony. Meanwhile people may pursue such factors as wealth, status or high rank, only human characteristics manage to build real happiness and peace in family relationships. References: Brinberg, D., & Castell, P. (2007). A resource exchange theory approach to interpersonal interactions: A test of Foa's theory. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 43(2), 260-269. Brown, D. (Producer), & Tennant, A. (Director). (2002). Sweet home Alabama [Motion picture]. United States: Touchstone Pictures. Gottman, J. (2007). Behavior exchange theory and marital decision making. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 34(1), 14-23. Lamanna, M. A., Riedman, A., Knox, D., Schacht, C., & Clinard, M. B. (2011). Marriages and Families. Florida State University. Nakonezny, P., & Denton, W. H. (2008). Marital relationships: A social exchange theory perspective. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 36, 402-412. Read More