Midlife development on Marriage - Research Paper Example

This paper aims to identify the challenges that couples go through during the empty nest years or midlife marriage. From a review of the current literature, the paper reveals some of the proposed solutions offered by psychologists and marriage counselors to resolve the problems that couples may encounter. The metaphor of the empty nest has been commonly used to refer to the time when couples are left alone again, after the children have grown up and left their home to build their own lives. The empty nest, as some authors identify, brings challenges to the married couple (Arp & Arp, 1996; Waldron & Kelly, 2009).

Some may find these years to be challenging while others may struggle with the new setup. The problems dealt with in midlife marriage are different from those that occur in the early stages of marriage when the couples are young, children are little, and opportunities abound to offer excitement. The current literature suggests that the challenges in midlife marriage are often related to midlife crisis (Jones, 2008; Courter & Gaudettte, 2003). The sad part is, even though both the husband and wife are experiencing the crisis stage, women find it more difficult to deal with their husband’s crisis. . In many stories, the midlife marriage was ruined by the crisis, as the husband demonstrated incapability to understand and face their crisis.

In the same way, unaware of what their husbands are going through, the wives were caught unprepared for the crumbling marriage. The stories of women imply the tendency of the husband to find a new partner despite many years of peaceful marriage, and in spite of the women’s effort to build a perfect home. One of the common characteristics of unhappy midlife marriage implied in the narratives (Courter & Gaudette, 2003; Waldron & Kelly, 2009) is the man’s infidelity alongside with the woman’s financial dependency.

Some women confessed doing what they thought would please their husband such as making the house tidy before the man arrives and taking care of the children. Despite these, however, they found out one day the shocking proof that their marriage has fallen as their husband found another woman. Thus, the core of the problem could be traced in the way the man deals with his crisis. As Courter and Gaudette note, it is the inability of the man to identify the ambiguities of his experiences and his inability to express his feelings that could lead to a further marital problem.

In contrast with the men, women deal with their midlife crisis differently. In Thurnher’s (1976) study, which investigates the differences in midlife marriage perceptions between the two genders, the author notes that women more than men in the middle life express a more displeased evaluation of marriage. Comparing the result of this study to the observation from the Courter and Gaudette (2008) stories, one may verify the inability of men to express their true feelings.